The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland #1- The Assembly

Hi, I'm Stellar, and welcome to Stellar in Neverland. The intro for this one is going to be relatively short for once, mainly because I just really want to get started with the rest of the post! In the preamble of last week's post, I mentioned that I wanted to start writing a series of short stories called The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland, but I didn't know exactly when I would start. Well, it turns out that I decided to start them right after that post! The series is an alternate universe of my life, and basically what would happen if my life were on steroids. The characters are mostly inspired by people I know in real life, with Catalina (my Bitmoji and the "face" of my blog) being a slightly altered version of myself. However, the events that happen to them, as you'll see, are weirder than anything that happens in my life. This one is inspired by a daydream I had in class one day that I personally thought was hilarious, so I decided to write a story about it. I don't have a schedule planned for when I'll write The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland. It will probably just come whenever I get ideas for it. So with that being said, I present to you: The Assembly.

Think of this as the cover artwork if this were a book. 

It was just another Friday morning at Neverland High School. Other than the fact that all of the students were exhausted due to the insane amount of tests our teachers decided to throw at us the previous two days, it was completely expected. Personally, I was just anxious to get the hell out of there. My name is Catalina Lily Taylor, I'm sixteen years old, and I live in a town that is literally named after the fictional location in Peter Pan where children go to avoid growing up. I like to think my hometown is pretty normal, but the fact that it is a town called Neverland proves otherwise. I'm a sophomore at Neverland High School, and it's not horrible as far as high schools go unless we're talking about biology. I like most of my teachers, I get good grades, I have the best best friends known to man, and nothing really embarrassing or out-of-the-ordinary happens here. Until today.

My best friends are Penelope Schuyler, who is best known for being a New York Times-bestselling author at the ripe old age of 16, and William Mason, who is not a bestselling author but is still pretty cool nonetheless. We have gym class first hour, and we were all waiting for class to start. We talked for a little bit about how awful testing was yesterday and our plans for the weekend. At 7:55, the bell rang and we all said the Pledge of Allegiance. We don't have any morning announcements, so we were shocked to hear our principal, Mr. Espinoza, continue to speak after reciting the pledge. All he said was "There will be a schoolwide assembly at 2:30 today, so please come to the gym after seventh hour."

The rest of our classmates were confused as to what the assembly could be about. When Mrs. Wallace, my gym teacher, arrived, Will asked her if she knew what the assembly was about. She told us she was just as confused as the rest of us, and she would let us know if she found out anything. We then started our regular gym class, which consisted of some working out in the cardio room before we started playing basketball. It wasn't fun, but the conversations we all had about the mystery of the assembly were.

We then went to second hour band, where the assembly was still a hot topic. I think about five kids brought it up to the entire class, and who knows how many side conversations about it went on in between songs? Mrs. Ellison, our director, was unsure about what the assembly was for, but they did tell her we didn't have to play anything for pep band. A few of my band friends looked disappointed, but most of the band (myself included) was relieved.

My third class of the day and my last before lunch is geometry with Mr. Fitzpatrick. Guess what the topic that had the class talking was? No, it wasn't actual geometry, it was the assembly. Mr. Fitzpatrick had to ask us ten times to stop talking about it, and he told us he didn't know anything about it either. He seemed sort of uneasy about the whole thing, but I just ignored it.

Rumors about what the assembly was about spread through the cafeteria like wildfire during lunch. Penelope said a few people from her biology class thought it was to educate us about teen pregnancy and Will claimed he heard from a kid in his health class whom he was not particularly fond of that the assembly was for a teacher to come out as gay. My personal favorite assembly theory was one I heard from one of the stoners whose locker happens to be near mine. She claimed it was to announce that Mr. Espinoza was retiring and Snoop Dogg would take his place as principal, as well as president of the world. None of the theories I had heard were plausible, but that one was so out there it was hysterical.

A few other classes occurred in my schedule before we got to English with Mr. Lambert. This wasn't noteworthy because we pondered about the assembly, because we'd done that in every other class. No, English was noteworthy because Mr. Lambert was the first person, other than Mr. Espinoza, who claimed to know what the assembly was about. He didn't tell us anything else about it, which irritated us immensely. Penelope asked him if he actually knew or if he was just pulling our leg. He said he did actually know, but had sworn to secrecy. This made us even more anxious to know what would happen, and it made seventh hour Spanish hell. The suspense of knowing we had one more hour left before all of our questions would be answered made it so nothing in Spanish was accomplished and about halfway through the hour, our teacher, Mrs. Kirk, reluctantly let us talk about it for the rest of the period.

After Spanish, the entire school rushed to the madhouse that was the gym. We were so close, yet so far to all of our answers in life (sort of) being answered. Would the assembly be something practical, or would it be ridiculous like my stoner locker neighbor claimed? Would it be worthwhile? And most importantly, did Mr. Lambert have a role in the whole thing?

Once the entire school was seated in the bleachers, a pair of giant red velvet curtains blocked out the middle of the gym so we couldn't see. This added to the confusion. Sitting between Will and Penelope, I asked them, "Don't you think giant curtains are a little over-the-top for whatever the assembly is?" Penelope nodded, then shushed me as the entire gym went pitch-black. The entire gym went silent. Suddenly, a giant, blinding spotlight appeared. Nobody said a word but we could all feel the suspense and hoped that something amazing was going to happen. Suddenly, we heard a familiar guitar intro. What guitar intro, you might ask? Why, that of "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction, a classic amongst my generation! As the song began, the curtains opened to reveal something that was both scarring and wonderful at the same time. My friends and I bust out laughing at the sight of it, and we weren't alone.

Okay, I've built up enough suspense, and I know you're biting your nails wondering what we saw. I guess I should just stop rambling and tell you. We saw Mr. Lambert, Mr. Fitzpatrick, and Mr. Herman (my geography teacher from last year) dressed in matching tracksuits doing incredibly cheesy choreography to the One Direction song. Mr. Espinoza announced them as "your new favorite boy band, H-F-L!" I cried from laughing so hard.

Mr. Fitzpatrick began singing first:
"You're insecure, don't know what for
You're turning heads when you walk through the door
Don't need makeup to cover up
Being the way that you are is enough"

"Maybe this is why Fitzpatrick was so uneasy about my class talking about the assembly!" I whispered to Will and Penelope.

Mr. Herman continued:
"Everyone else in the room can see it,
Everyone else but you"

Then, all three of them semi-harmonized in the chorus:
"Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell
You don't know, oh oh, you don't know you're beautiful
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know, you don't know you're beautiful
That's what makes you beautiful!"

Penelope and I belted along to my heart's content, as did a plethora of my classmates. I could tell Will was judging the both of us, but I didn't care. To be completely honest, it's not that the three teachers were particularly great singers, because they weren't. I'm no singing expert, but even I could tell they went off-key quite a few times, and they sounded like a group of drunken frat boys trying to sing karaoke. But it was the novelty of three of the most beloved teachers at Neverland High teaming up to sing a classically cheesy One Direction hit that made it worthwhile. 

They ended "What Makes You Beautiful" after the first chorus. They then transitioned to "Drag Me Down", my six-year-old brother Lennon's favorite One Direction song. I pulled my phone out of my pocket so I could film it for him.

Lambert began the song, singing:
"I've got fire for a heart, I'm not scared of the dark
You've never seen it look so easy
I got a river for a soul, and baby you're a boat
Baby, you're my only reason"

Fitzpatrick then sang the prechorus:
"If I didn't have you there would be nothing left
The shell of a man who could never be his best
If I didn't have you, I'd never see the sun
You taught me how to be someone, yeah"

After that, they all attempted to harmonize for the chorus:
"All my life, you stood by me
When no one else was ever behind me
All these lights, they can't blind me
With your love, nobody can drag me down
All my life, you stood by me
When no one else was ever behind me
All these lights, they can't blind me
With your love, nobody can drag me down
(Nobody, nobody)
​Nobody can drag me down​
(Nobody, nobody)
​Nobody can drag me down​"

This one was funny because of Herman awkwardly singing the "Nobody, nobody" in the chorus. After the chorus, he cheerily announced, "Okay, now we're gonna slow things down. Get close to your boyfriend or girlfriend, if you have one!" Everybody laughed. You could really tell that none of the teachers in the boy band were taking themselves seriously, making the concert´s atmosphere feel warm and inviting. It also made me not feel bad about laughing at my teachers´ bad singing.

Next on their setlist was "Story of My Life", one of One Direction's ballads and a song that my mom has always loved. I decided to continue filming the performance for her sake.

Herman began the first verse:
"Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain
I leave my heart open
But it stays right here empty for days"

Then Fitzpatrick took over:
"She told me in the morning
She don't feel the same about us in her bones
It seems to me that when I die
These words will be written on my stone"

Lambert did the prechorus:
"And I'll be gone, gone tonight
The ground beneath my feet is open wide
The way that I've been holding on too tight
With nothing in between"

The chorus was next, and they did it in unison once again. The harmonies in this one were particularly embarrassing, making them very amusing.
"The story of my life
I take her home
I drive all night
To keep her warm
And time is frozen
The story of my life
I give her hope
I spend her love
Until she's broken inside
The story of my life"

"Okay, now we're doing another throwback. Get excited," Fitzpatrick said, significantly less enthusiastic than Herman was during his introduction. The throwback in question was "Live While We're Young", which Fitzpatrick began, singing:
"Hey girl, I'm waiting on you, I'm waiting on you
Come on and let me sneak you out
And have a celebration, a celebration
The music up, the window's down"

Herman took the prechorus:
"Yeah, we'll be doing what we do
Just pretending that we're cool and we know it too
Yeah, we'll keep doing what we do
Just pretending that we're cool, so tonight"

My phone battery was almost dead so I decided to stop filming after the third song, but the hilariously bad choreography during "Live While We're Young" made me regret that decision. They tried to harmonize for the chorus, but the horrible dancing they were doing made it hard for them to sing, so they mumbled for part of it and belted the other parts. I think Lambert tripped at one point, but I'm pretty sure it was on purpose. It sounded more like: 
"LET'S GO CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY tilweseethesun
Iknowweonlymet BUT LET'S PRETEND IT'S LOVE
Andnevernever NEVER STOP FOR ANYONE
TONIGHT LET'S GET SOME andlivewhilewe'reyoung
And live while we're young
Tonight let's get some
And live while we're young"

"Okay, this is our final song so MAKE SOME NOISE!" Lambert yelled, keeping the energy up. They ended with "Best Song Ever", one of my favorite songs by any artist, believe it or not. Because of my love of this song, I decided to risk my battery and film it. They didn't do any of the verses, just going straight to the bridge, which they awkwardly took turns singing:
(Herman) "You know, I know, you know I'll remember you
And I know, you know, I know you'll remember me"
(Fitzpatrick) "And you know, I know, you know I'll remember you
And I know, you know, I hope you'll remember how we danced, how we danced"

(Lambert, screaming) "1, 2 - 1, 2, 3!"

They screamed the final chorus in unison. In the original song, band member Zayn Malik does this one really high note during the final repetition of "best song ever". Herman attempted to sing the high note in our version...key word being "attempted", because it was not pretty.

"How we danced all night to the best song ever
We knew every line now I can't remember
How it goes but I know that I won't forget her
Cause we danced all night to the best song ever
And we danced all night to the best song ever
We knew every line now I can't remember
How it goes but I know that I won't forget her
Cause we danced all night to the best song ever
I think it went oh, oh, oh
I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah
I think it goes"

After the failure of his high note, Herman sang the outro of the song solemnly and all by himself:

"Best song ever
It was the best song ever
It was the best song ever
It was the best song ever"

After the hilarious concert, the three teachers took a bow while the entirety of the student body and their fellow teachers gave them standing ovations. As if their performance wasn't hilarious enough, they performed a short skit afterwards that made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. 

Fitzpatrick: "Great show, you guys!"

Lambert: "Except for the end when Herman messed up on his high note!"

Fitzpatrick: "Herman, you're out of the band!"

Herman: "Hey, at least I didn't fall on my rear end like an idiot, unlike some people. (pretends to cough) LAMBERT (pretends to cough)"

Fitzpatrick: "Good point. Lambert, you're out of the band too. So now it's just me. Except I resign. Goodbye."

The entire assembly was probably the funniest thing I had ever seen. It was worth an entire day of suspense and craziness from not knowing what the assembly was about. Hell, I'd argue the suspense made it even more worth it! My school can be pretty weird sometimes, and while sometimes it's in a bad way, it's mostly in a good way. The assembly was amazing...but I'm going to struggle to see Fitzpatrick, Herman, or Lambert in any other way afterwards. But that's just me. Anyways, I have somewhere I need to be, so I'll see you next time for more laughs. Catalina out. 

The End

So there you go, the first edition of The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland is here. I'm excited to write more of this series, even if I don't know when the next installment will come out. I see a lot of potential for laughter in it. Next week's post will be the sixth edition of First Impressions, and then the week after I have a really special post planned for you guys...but that's all I'm saying! I'm Stellar in Neverland, signing off, and I'll see you next Wednesday. Peace!

Stellar

REVIEW: Pitch Perfect 3 *Minor Spoilers*

Hi, I'm Stellar, and welcome to Stellar in Neverland...and 2018! That's right, folks, we survived another year on the wasteland known as Earth and have now reached 2018! I think we deserve a Catalina Cameo (which is what I'm calling these from now on) to celebrate:


This year, I'm hoping to start writing The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland, a series of short stories about my Bitmoji, Catalina. I don't know when I'll start them but they'll be coming at some point this year. The other things you can expect from Stellar in Neverland in 2018 are pretty similar to what I did last year. Random lists and playlists, First Impressions, maybe a few rankings of any given topic from worst to best (that's new lol), and reviews, like today's post. My original plan was to do a 2-in-1 review of Pitch Perfect 3 with The Greatest Showman, but I haven't seen the latter so that's not going to happen. But that's okay, because I still have a lot to say about Pitch Perfect 3. I'm going to break this review down into four different parts, each talking about a different element of the movie: the plot, the acting/characters, the comedy, and the music. I will individually score each element, then average it all out for my overall score and state whether I recommend the movie or not. Now, considering that I ADORE the first two movies in the trilogy, (they made my list of my top 10 favorite movies, link here), I expected to love the newest installment just as much. Did I? I won't say until the end, so let's just get this started.

Image from the movie's Wikipedia page. Also, DISCLAIMER: There are gonna be minor spoilers in this review, so if you haven't seen the movie and don't want to be spoiled, DON'T READ THIS. 

The Plot: The plot was probably the biggest problem I had with the movie. The basic storyline is that the Barden Bellas, an all-female acapella group, have disbanded but decide to get back together because they are miserable in their real world jobs. The father of one of the Bellas (Aubrey, played by Anna Camp) is in the army, so he gives them a way to enter a competition where they get to sing for the troops. The winner gets to open for DJ Khaled, who had a surprisingly large role in the movie. I think DJ Khaled can be funny from time to time, but I'm getting sick of seeing him everywhere and I wish he was limited to a cameo. Other than my slight gripes with DJ Khaled, you're probably thinking that I really didn't have a problem with the plot, right? Well, there's one thing that I forgot to mention: about a third of the way in, Pitch Perfect 3 decides it wants to be a crime-action thriller instead of a light-hearted musical comedy like its predecessors. Fat Amy ( played by Rebel Wilson) is the prime example of a character who is really funny in small doses but just simply isn't strong enough to carry an entire movie. Apparently nobody told the producers this, because they decided to give Fat Amy of all characters a tragic backstory about her spy-criminal father. Her father (played by John Lithgow) finds her on an island in Spain with the Bellas and tries to get closer to her as a means of obtaining the $180 million bank account Amy's mother left for her on a faraway island. Eventually, he kidnaps the Bellas and threatens to kill them as a way to lure Amy to him, which is creepy. Had the movie gone with the conflict I expected from the trailer of the acapella group learning to compete with bands with real instruments, I would've enjoyed the plot a lot more. As it is, the plot gets a 5/10 from me because of how genuinely WTF the subplot with Fat Amy's father was.

The Acting/Characters: This is a comedy movie, so of course you shouldn't go into it expecting any Oscar-worthy performances, but for what it's worth, the actors do pretty well in their roles. The emotions necessary for these movies rely more on comedic timing than emotional depth, so most of the actors excelled. I also enjoyed some of the new additions to the cast, like the bands that used real instruments. It did feel like the bands were underused and really only appeared in the first half, and I would've liked the conflict to revolve around them more. What was most disappointing about the characters was that it was less about the Bellas and more only about Fat Amy. True, Beca (played by Anna Kendrick) still had a pretty big role and we got to see a little into the other Bellas' lives, but for the most part, this felt less like Pitch Perfect 3 and more like The Fat Amy Show...or rather The Fat Amy Movie. And look, I like Fat Amy, I think Rebel Wilson is pretty funny, but she's far better as a fan-favorite comic relief character than the star of the whole thing. And considering this is the final movie in the trilogy, I wished it focused more on the dynamic of the Bellas as a group than just on Fat Amy. 6.5/10

The Comedy: Considering the first two movies are comedic-quote goldmines, I expected this movie to also be one. While there weren't as many instantly quotable moments as its predecessors, this movie still was pretty funny. The very best quote in the movie is when the fictional girl group Evermoist (yes, that's what they're actually called) are introducing themselves as Calamity, Serenity, Veracity, and Charity, to which Amy responds, "If I joined your group, I could be Obesity." I found that absolutely hilarious. I also thought it was funny when the Bellas were at this fancy party at DJ Khaled's suite. There's this one part where the party gets really crazy (meaning things get destroyed, Khaled's private chef's beehive breaks loose, and there's a fire), yet Beca is just sitting there nonchalantly making sick beats with Khaled's DJ equipment. Finally, one other funny part I'd like to mention is Amy's attempts to save the girls after her father kidnaps them on his yacht. If I remember correctly, she fights some of her father's minions in the yacht's kitchen with a stick of sausage, which was hilarious. Despite my overall opinion that the "Amy's father" arc was unnecessary and the scenes in question being EXTREMELY over-the-top, they still got quite a few chuckles out of me. For me, the comedy was easily the best thing about this movie. 9/10

The Music: The Pitch Perfect franchise is, at large, about acapella groups, so there is naturally lots of music in the series. The soundtracks mostly consist of acapella renditions of popular songs, and this movie was no exception. Some of the songs I was happiest to see in the movie were "Toxic" by Britney Spears, "Love Me Harder" by Ariana Grande, and most of all, "Shut Up And Dance" by Walk The Moon. I also enjoyed how the movie incorporated different styles of music like punk rock, bluegrass, and rap with the bands that use real instruments. We also get to see some of Beca's original music, which sounded pretty cool to me. The problem for me was that this movie just felt like it didn't have as much music as its predecessors. The first half of the movie had a lot of music with the Riff-Off scene, but after that the music was pretty sparse. It felt like they focused more on the spy aspects of the plot than the music aspects, which was not a good move for me. The music was good, I just wish there was more of it. 7.5/10

My score averaged out to a 7/10, which is about what I'd give it. This film has a ton of flaws and I personally can't wait for CinemaSins to tally up everything wrong with it. Objectively, it's probably a 5.5/10 at best. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy this movie a lot. I went with my mom and my brother on opening day and we all had a really fun time. This is the last movie in the series, which means my mom and I won't have our tradition of going to see the movies on opening day anymore and will therefore have to find a new girls' night tradition. Despite that, I do think it probably was time for this series to end so the actors are able to move on with their lives, and the ending was bittersweet and pretty satisfying. If you liked the first two movies, you'll probably like Pitch Perfect 3, but I would say you should probably see the first two prior to watching this one, both because you can get into the plot more and also because they're just more enjoyable movies for me.

This was my first movie review, and honestly I think I did pretty okay for my first time. These probably won't be a regular occurrence on Stellar in Neverland since I don't see movies in theatres very often, but who knows? I'm probably going to see The Greatest Showman at some point, so I'll review it when I do. And as for my next post, I have absolutely NO IDEA what it's going to be, but you can find it next Wednesday. I'm Stellar in Neverland, signing off, and I'll see you then. Peace!

Stellar

Stellar's Last Post of 2017...For Better or For Worse

I'm Stellar, welcome to Stellar in Neverland, and I KNOW I promised that I would make a list of my favorite songs of 2017 to end the year. But for a few reasons, which I'll go over in a little bit, I decided to abort that idea. So how am I going to end the year? Random rambling about the year as a whole, as well as me listing off what I got for Christmas, because why not?

This represents how I felt about the year pretty well, TBH.

Let's begin with answering the question I know you're wondering based off of my intro: WHY AM I NOT DOING MY FAVORITE SONGS LIST? Well, I was originally planning on doing it and a large part of it was written until I really started thinking about it and I concluded a few things.

1. It was WAY TOO LONG. Which, yeah, I had expected. I knew it would be really long, so I was gonna split it into two parts for your convenience. The problem was most of it was fluff. I could've easily trimmed each section about each song into about five sentences, but I'm too lazy to rewrite, and besides:

2. I've already talked about most of the songs on the list in other posts. Like, half of the list was in the Fall 2017 Playlist, and I made references to other songs on the list and my enjoyment of them in other posts, like the two Songs I Don't Know The Names Of posts and the homecoming post. I really wasn't adding anything new.

3. I'm really not feeling all that great. I've been feeling really cold and tired (which means that I'm 99% likely to get a fever, because those are ALWAYS my fever symptoms) and I have a really sore throat. It shouldn't be anything serious, but it's taking a little bit of a toll on my ability to write really long posts like that.

I'm not making a full retrospective of the year like I had planned to with the songs list, but I still want to recap how the year went for me. And for me personally, this year blew. Everybody likes to talk about how 2016 was a horrible year, but minus all the political stuff and celebrity deaths, I actually had a really good 2016! That was the year I got into Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco (among other bands), and despite those bands being labeled as “emo”, they were why my happiness was at its peak in 2016. 2017 was the complete opposite. I’m not gonna say I was depressed during 2017, but for a lot of it, I was in a terrible mood. I dealt with drama with my friends and having to put up with people who made me want to scream every time I saw them. School put a lot of stress on me, as well as starting to drive, and I made a ton of stupid mistakes I regretted instantly. On top of all that, my band director, whom I look up to greatly, was diagnosed with cancer, adding even more stress to the pile. Last year also had some sucky moments, but the happiness I got from the music I was passionate about significantly outweighed the bad moments. The big difference between 2016 and 2017 for me was that I really didn’t have a constant refuge this year like I did in 2016. However, there were a few good things that happened to me in 2017. I went to some amazing places, had a blast with my friends when there wasn’t drama going on, got my first iPhone, began playing the bass clarinet, and started a blog where I created things I was genuinely proud of.

Now, I'm going to end this post by listing off my Christmas presents because I got some cool things I would like to share. Think of this as being like a haul video on YouTube, but in text form hahaha.

• One of my family's traditions that we love is Christmas Eve Eve, which is where my mom makes a really big dinner (steak and crab legs for this year, yum!) and we exchange presents amongst the parents and the kids. This year, my present (as well as my brother's) was supposed to be my iPhone 7, but I got it about two months early because my parents figured that if they were going to be paying for the phone service, then we should get the phones then. 
• In band, we do a Secret Santa tradition this year. Obviously I'm not going to reveal who had me, but they gave me a pair of fuzzy socks (a recurring theme in this post, which you'll see), Sour Punch candy, and a box of Sweet Tarts. We did that on December 22nd.
• For Christmas Eve Eve, my parents gave each of the three kids envelopes. We opened the envelopes to find pieces of paper with pictures on them of the Badlands, the Field of Dreams, and Mount Rushmore. We found out that we're going on a road trip over the summer, which I'm really excited for! I love traveling and I've never been to any of those places, so I look forward to seeing places I've never seen before.
• On Christmas morning, we got our presents from "Santa". I got some pretty cool stuff:
• This year, the school music department started selling music-themed merchandise. I got a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and a pom-pom hat. I'd post pictures but I'm not going to reveal my school's name for obvious reasons.
• A pair of suede boots that I've already worn a few times and LOVE
• A pair of purple Under Armour tennis shoes
• Just Dance 2018, which I have only played once because my brother got Madden 18 and has therefore been hogging the TV
• The Awesome Game of Meme, because memes
• Turtles All The Way Down by John Green and Far From The Tree by Robin Benway
• A pink leather tote with a really cool design on it

• A box of stuff from Bath and Body Works, including a scented candle, body wash, and a bunch of lotion
• Two more pairs of fuzzy socks, these two I believe are from Bath and Body Works as well. One of the pairs has penguins and the other has polar bears.
• Then on Christmas Day I go to my grandma's house on my mom's side. At her house, I got:
• Cash. I knew I was getting some because my grandma just straight-up told me she didn't know what to get me so she'd get me cash to spend on whatever I wanted. I'm not gonna say how much though.
• 3 Take 5 bars, because Take 5s are the best candy in the world
• 2 boxes of peanut butter M&M's because peanut butter M&M's are the second-best candy in the world
• A bunch of brain teasers
• Then we have the stuff I got yesterday at the party I go to with my grandma and my aunts and uncles on my dad's side:
• A colorful sweater
• A pair of earrings with shamrocks on them because my family on my dad's side is very Irish
• More cash
• Stickers
• One last pair of fuzzy socks (which I am NOT complaining about because fuzzy socks are my favorite thing ever)
• A Barnes and Noble gift card
• A clarinet ornament, which I was really excited about because I play clarinet
• Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls by Elena Favilli and Francesca Cavallo, which I'm excited to read because I'm a feminist and I love learning about inspiring women.

If I remember correctly, that's all I got. I'm sorry if this post wasn't what you expected and if it seems a little rushed, but this is what I want it to be right now. Next week's post will mark my first of 2018, and it will probably be a Pitch Perfect 3 review. It might also be a 2-in-1 review with The Greatest Showman, but I don't even know if I'm seeing that. I'm Stellar in Neverland, and I'll see you next year. Peace!

Stellar

Holiday Special: Jake Paul's Litmas EP (Album Review #3.5, if you must)

Hi, I'm Stellar, and welcome to the first HOLIDAY SPECIAL of Stellar in Neverland! I'm going to start off by asking you a question: When you hear the phrase "Christmas music", what's the first thing that pops into your head? Maybe it's "Silent Night" or "Winter Wonderland", or if you're anything like me, maybe it's  Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas is You". Well, whatever it is, hopefully it isn't on Jake Paul's new Christmas EP.

I haven't even listened to it yet (note: I wrote the preamble the day before I listened), but I can already tell this will be my reaction to every song. 

For those who are blissfully unaware of Jake Paul, he is an YouTuber, "actor", "rapper", and all-around probably the least talented person I have ever come across. He began his career on Vine, a now-defunct app used to post seven-second videos. Vines are either comedy gold or abysmally stupid. More often than, not they fall into the latter category, which Jake Paul's certainly do. Once Vine shut down in 2016, he took his obnoxious brand of comedy to YouTube, where he currently makes painfully embarrassing vlogs and prank videos. He also starred on the Disney Channel show Bizaardvark, which I would describe as being the dollar store version of iCarly and, make no mistakes about it, the worst Disney Channel show I have ever watched. He was on the show until July 2017, when he got fired because of controversies over some pranks he pulled, which brings me to the next thing you need to know about Mr. Paul before we begin: JAKE PAUL IS A PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING. He lives in a Beverly Hills mansion with his posse of vlogger friends known as "Team 10" (wonder how long it took him to come up with that name). In the house, they perform loud, obnoxious, and occasionally dangerous pranks, which are very disturbing to his neighbors. As if that weren't bad enough, hordes of his fans (known as "Jake Paulers", what a creative name) frequently visit the Team 10 house and are collectively a burden to the neighbors. Despite numerous complaints and even a public nuisance lawsuit, Jake Paul has done nothing to ease the people's (very reasonable) complaints. He was also manipulative towards former girlfriend and Team 10 member Alissa Violet, made disgusting and racist comments to a fan from Kazakhstan, and was proven to have been a bully by former classmates, despite claiming to be anti-bullying. He gets into petty beefs with other YouTubers that I can't bring myself to care about because I don't want to lose brain cells, and just everything he does is dumb, obnoxious, clickbait. The only people who unironically like and defend Jake Paul are twelve-year-old girls who don't know any better and think he's like, so totally dreamy OMG.

In May 2017, he, with the assistance of Team 10, dropped his own song called "It's Everyday Bro", which is...I'm gonna be honest with you all: "It's Everyday Bro" is one of the best examples of a "So Bad It's Good" song I have ever seen. It's a horrible song. None of the members of Team 10 are competent rappers, the beat is garbage, and the lyrics can probably kill your brain cells due to their inanity. One of the members of his posse legitimately thinks England is a city (and was appropriately mocked by the Internet in a series of memes). But that's why I find it hilarious. The fact that somebody honest-to-God thought it was a good song is amusing. Despite most of the internet thinking the song was hot trash (and a handful thinking it's So Bad It's Good), the song got a ton of media attention and views on YouTube. This inspired Jake Paul to make many other songs (all of which are garbage) and even a Christmas EP, titled Litmas.

Yes, Litmas.

I'm going to suffer through it, because what better way to get into the holiday spirit than to completely destroy a (most likely horrible) Christmas album from one of my favorite punching bags? I didn't mention this in the title, but this is another edition of First Impressions, the series where I listen to songs I've never heard, give my opinions, and rate them from 1 to 10. Last week, I did a First Impression of Taylor Swift's Reputation, and even though I can't stand her, I still had hope she could make a decent album. In contrast, the hopes I have for this EP being worthwhile are practically nonexistent. At best, it will probably be So Bad It's Good and at worst it will likely make me want to start smoking crack. Let's just start this monstrosity and get it over with.

1. "12 Days of Christmas" ft. Nick Crompton
Great! We're barely into the EP and I'm already pissed off! "The 12 Days of Christmas" is probably my least favorite Christmas song of all time, even without the Jake Paul remix treatment. And if you think this version is going to change my opinion, you're wrong. The beat sounds like it was produced in GarageBand in 15 minutes. Jake Paul's vocals are drenched in autotune, but the effects don't make him sound any better. If anything, they make him sound worse. This dude just flat-out CAN'T SING. And of course, the lyrics are brain-dead. We all know the story of the original "12 Days of Christmas", where it's just the narrator listing off things they've gotten from their true love. In Mr. Paul's hands, he's receiving:
-12 million brain-dead idiots...I mean subscribers
-11 vloggers vlogging
-10 diamond plaques (as in the plaque YouTube sends you when you get a certain number of subscribers)
-9 reindeer twerking (yes, really)
-8 new puppies (to be fair, puppies are actually a reasonable thing to put on your wish list)
-7 British booties (??????)
-6 Gucci cases (I assume this means phone cases since Jake's an internet celebrity. Does Gucci even make phone cases?)
-Lamborghinis (Not a specific amount, just Lamborghinis. Also the way Jake sings this is the most annoying thing in the world.)
-4 Yellars (Apparently he calls his sunglasses "Yellars". I don't get it either.)
-3 Jake Paul tees (Because he has to plug his merch somewhere)
-Two new baby twins (I don't think anyone who mentions reindeer twerking in their Christmas song is anywhere near mature enough to be a father...but that's none of my business.)
-Chance and Anthony (These are his friends, and if he only gets to see them on the holidays, then they're really cruddy friends.)
Okay, I didn't know what half of that stuff was without the help of Genius, and even with Genius I still don't know what some of them are. My IQ probably dropped 20 points over the course of this song. 1/10
2. "Litmas" by Jake Paul, Team 10 and Slim Jxmmi
The title track is next. This song is called "Litmas", and based off of that wonderful title, you can already tell that it's garbage. Was anyone asking for a trap Christmas song? The beat to this one steals from "Carol of the Bells", which actually makes it sound somewhat Christmassy. It also ruined "Carol of the Bells" for me, which sucks because that's one of my favorite Christmas songs. The chorus of this one is Jake Paul chanting "Christmas is lit, Christmas, Litmas" over and over again until your ears fall off from the sheer horror. Slim Jxmmi from rap duo Rae Sremmurd is featured on this song, and it's like...dude, how'd you go from "Black Beatles" (a song I actually happen to like, thank you very much) to this trainwreck? Jake's rapping is the worst thing about this song, as his bars include referring to himself as "the young Santa Claus" and Mrs. Claus as "his side-chick", as well as the line "My parents are divorced, I made two Christmas lists, it's just so they know not to get the same s**t." Yeah, this one gets a 1/10 for obvious reasons.
3. "Deck the Halls" by Jake Paul, Team 10 and Anthony Trujillo
Dude, I just played this song in my band concert a few weeks ago! Couldn't you have waited a little bit to ruin it for everyone? More badly autotuned singing and rapping on this one, oh joy. Every time Jake Paul sings "bling bling bling bling blaoh" instead of "fa-la-la-la-la" in the chorus in that ever-so-obnoxious way, I just grimace. For whatever reason, there's a reference to "Bad and Boujee" by Migos in the post-chorus, which is...what? The verses are equally mind-numbing, and I can't tell the difference between Jake's voice and Anthony's. There's a line at the end of Anthony's verse where he mentions sneaking off with Mrs. Claus while Santa's not looking, lovely. And the beat is generic, annoying trap. Who wanted a trap version of "Deck the Halls", of all things. Not me, that's for sure. At least it's short. 2/10
4. "Fanjoy to the World"
Let me just get the obvious question out of the way: Fanjoy is the company that makes Jake Paul's merch. THIS MAN REWROTE "JOY TO THE WORLD" TO BE ABOUT JAKE PAUL MERCHANDISE. To quote that Taylor Swift song from last week's post, THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS. The chorus on this one is Jake Paul chanting "buy dat merch" over and over again, because of course it is. I checked out his merch website and A.) not even that cool and B.) overpriced as hell. I can name a million better things to spend $90 than a Jake Paul sweatshirt. But hey, lame merch deserves a lame song. Like that last song, the only good thing about this song is that it's mercifully short. This one gets a 1.5/10 because while it is astonishingly stupid, at least they have the courtesy to only be stupid for 2 minutes and 17 seconds. Thanks, Jake Paul.
5. "Jingle Pauls" by Jake Paul ft. L0gan Paul
"Jingle Bells" is a Christmas classic. "Jingle Pauls" is not. AGAIN: WHO ASKED FOR TRAP VERSIONS OF THESE SONGS? The lyrics to this one are about the same thing as every other song on this EP. It begins with him shouting out his merch again. We just heard a song about your merch, bro, we don't need another one! Then he talks about going in a Tesla and a Lamborghini, his merch, his fans, and everything he's already talked about in every other song. This one is a collab with Jake's brother Logan, except it's not actually Logan. It's Jake pretending to be Logan, and his voice is even more annoying. Dude, you're not Ariana Grande, what makes you think you can do impressions? He ends his verse as Logan by just saying "dab" 16 times until it doesn't even sound like a word. I hate this song. 1.5/10
6. "It's Christmas Day Bro" by Jake Paul, Team 10, and Jerry Purpdrank (ft. Anthony Trujillo, Chance Sutton, Erika Costell, and Nick Crompton)
Naturally, the EP ends with a Christmas version of the so-bad-it's-good staple "It's Everyday Bro". I ironically enjoy the original, but I don't want a Christmas version of it. The lyrics of this one are exactly the same as the original lyrics, except with bad Christmas puns. "Santa Paul" did not give me life, thank you very much. They also rewrote the iconic lyric "England is my city" to be "London is my country", which is trying way too hard to recreate the memetic status of the original. There are seven verses on this thing, and each one of them is equally stupid. Did they really need that many? There are How The Grinch Stole Christmas puns, a boast of "delivering gifts like the Energizer bunny", and I think a reference to Hannah Montana? The original song is wonderfully stupid, but this one is just plain stupid. 1/10

IT'S OVER, FINALLY. Thank God. I'm not even going to list the best and worst songs on here, because they're all the worst song on here. This EP wasted my time, and I blame humanity for rewarding stupidity by letting Jake Paul do this. That's right, it's all of our faults for this. We let this happen. I give this EP a 1.5/10. The only thing it could be used for is for the government to play around the holidays at Guantanamo Bay in order to get prisoners to give up information and suffer. I hate Jake Paul and this EP makes me hate Christmas, which I didn't think was possible. There are billions of Christmas songs out there, and I haven't heard half of them, but I can guarantee they're all better than this.

I'm sorry this was such a negative holiday special, but if you enjoy listening to people roast horrible things, maybe you'll get some joy out of it. Next week, we'll balance out the negatives of this mess with some positive. I'm gonna talk about songs I actually liked next week in my top 10 favorite songs of 2017. I already know it will be really long, so I'm splitting it up into two parts. The first part will be on Wednesday, December 27th, and then I'm trying something new and posting the second part on Thursday, December 28th. Be sure to check those out if you like Positive Stellar! I'm Stellar in Neverland, and I'll see you next week! Peace!

Stellar

First Impressions #4/Album Review #3- Taylor Swift's Reputation

Hi, I'm Stellar in Neverland. For the first part of this post, I would like to state that I've gotten rid of the "Updates" part I traditionally began every post with. From now on, I'm only going to do updates if I feel the need to. About half the time, I didn't even have any updates, haha. Anyways, welcome to First Impressions! This is where I listen to an album or random collection of songs I've mostly never heard for the first time, give my opinion on each, and rate it on a scale from 1 to 10. A 1/10 is a song that I truly despise and never want to hear again, a 10/10 is one of my all-time favorite songs, and everything else in between depends. The higher the score, the more I like the song. If it's an album, I will list my favorite and least favorite songs and give my score for the album as a whole at the end. Today I'm reviewing what is probably the most successful and popular album of 2017: Reputation by Taylor Swift.

Just in case any rabid Swifties find this and get mad at me for "hating" on the album, this DOES NOT represent my views on the album yet. This is a reference to the line in "Look What You Made Me Do". You know which one.

Last week, I did a list of my top 10 favorite celebrities, in which I mentioned that my opinions on Demi Lovato (the fourth person I talked about) had been really inconsistent over the years. I bring this up because my opinions on Taylor Swift have been even more inconsistent. Let's break 'em down, going by how I felt about her during each era of her career. 

2006-2007 (Her first, self-titled era): I actually listened to country music a lot when I was young, which is funny because now I can't stand that genre. We had Time Warner Cable and they had an option that allowed you to watch country music videos from CMT or GAC. I would watch those videos with my dad for hours when I was four or five, and I remember watching the videos for "Teardrops On My Guitar" and "Our Song" and really liking both of them. I didn't know much about Taylor Swift but I liked those songs.

2008-2009 (Fearless era): I was in second grade when Taylor first started getting REALLY popular. "Love Story" and "You Belong With Me" were huge hits that nearly every girl in my grade knew the words to and would sing at recess. I didn't really listen to much music at this point, but I sort of jumped on the bandwagon and claimed to be a big fan. I knew a little bit about her, and I thought she was a great singer and it was cool that she wrote her own music.

2010-2011 (Speak Now era): This era started when I was in third grade, and I had made a new friend whom I was really close to. This friend had a huge crush on Taylor Lautner, who had dated Taylor Swift a little earlier. My friend started hating Swift for breaking up with Lautner (I don't particularly like referring to people just by their last names but they have the same first name so I gotta do what I gotta do), and I went along with it because I sort of thought my friend could do no wrong. I liked "Back To December" and "Mean", though. 
2012-2013 (Red era): Pretty similar to the Fearless era in terms of my opinions of her. I claimed to be a big fan but I didn't actually know that many of her songs. She wrote a few songs for The Hunger Games that I liked. Apparently that was enough for me to consider her my favorite singer?
2014 (Beginning of the 1989 era): I still liked Taylor but I thought she was starting to get overexposed. "Shake It Off" was so overplayed back then, and it still is.
2015-maybe up until May 2016 (1989 era): I was really into her at this point in my life. I thought she was so cool and relatable, and I loved her music. This was where my stanning of Taylor Swift reached its peak. I think part of it was because some of my friends were big fans and I wanted to go along, but I did like her for her.
May 2016-Present (Taylor's "break" and the Reputation era): My opinions take a complete 180. As the 1989 era dies, my enthusiasm dies with it. I start thinking that her entire persona is annoying, staged, and fake, all of which are opinions I still hold. Then at some point in July, the world learns that Taylor Swift is a liar. Basically, Kanye West uses some...choice words...towards Taylor in his song "Famous", which Taylor didn't approve of. Then Kanye's wife, Kim Kardashian, posts VIDEO FOOTAGE on her Snapchat of Taylor giving Kanye permission to use the lyrics, and yet Taylor still claimed he didn't ask her permission. I felt offended that someone I previously looked up to and admired would lie like that, and I didn't know if I would be able to ever call myself a fan again. Then, a year later, Taylor comes back with "Look What You Made Me Do", all but confirming my dislike of her. But that's for later in this post. 

So after all that context, let's now talk about the album:

Oh, and by the way, I really don't like this album artwork. I mean, I get what it's supposed to represent (how she keeps making headlines), but I just think the way she's posed with her head held up makes her look awkward. I found some fanmade album covers that are way better, and it's honestly kind of sad that amateur remakes are better than the real thing. At least it's not the worst album cover I saw this year.

1. "...Ready for It?"
The first song on the album was the second released from the album, and honestly, I don't care for it. It's trying to be two things at once, and it's not a cohesive song. In the verses, Taylor pretty much raps over a trap beat akin to previous single "Bad Blood" from 1989, but the chorus sounds innocent and reminiscent of 1989 single "Wildest Dreams". The two parts are decent on their own, but they fit really awkwardly together. Plus, the way Taylor accents some of the words in the verses ("HE CAN BE MY jailer, Burton to this Taylor" is the prime example) is obnoxious. The only part of this I wholeheartedly like is the part where she goes "Baby, let the games begin, let the games begin, let the games begin, ah ah". It's such a simple melody but it's really catchy. The song overall just feels like it's trying too hard to be edgy, so I don't really care for it. 5/10
2. "End Game" ft. Ed Sheeran and Future
I saw this song listed on the tracklist and I was confused. I get Taylor collabing with Ed since they've done it before on "Everything Has Changed", and I sort of get her collabing with Future since she's experimented with rap on Kendrick Lamar's "Bad Blood" remix. But both of them on the same song? Her thought process for this one was probably "Hmm...Ed Sheeran's really big this year! And Future's really big this year! Let's just get 'em all together and dominate the world!", but she had no concern for the actual quality of the song. Future's part is generic, Ed feels out of place, and Taylor's rap verse is cringeworthy. Who told her it was okay to rap? The parts of this song I did like were the "big reputation, big reputation" chant (similar to the "let the games begin" in the previous song, it's simple but earwormy), the beat, and the line "I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me". Otherwise, you can skip it. 5.5/10
3. "I Did Something Bad"
We have more trap-inspired music this time, and of the three songs so far, this is definitely my favorite. This one shows Taylor being actually self-aware and admitting that she's done bad things. The beat is hypnotic and the chorus is explosive and incredibly catchy. Taylor sounds confident and unexpectedly powerful, and her performance really fits the IDGAF nature of the song. This is the first time in Taylor's career that she's actually been able to pull off an edgy, dark vibe. She even curses for the first time probably ever, in the line, "If a man talks s**t, then I owe him nothing, I don't regret it one bit 'cuz he had it coming." That's probably my favorite lyric in the song, just a really great diss. I also love the "ra-da-da-da-da DEATH TRAP" part after the chorus, which Genius says is actually Taylor's voice pitched down. I have no idea why it's there but it's great. This entire song surprised me in a really good way, since I expected it to be lame based off of the title and my bias against Taylor, but I like this a lot. She'd better make it a single. 9/10
4. "Don't Blame Me"
I'm don't know how to feel about this one. First things first, this song sounds fan-freaking-tastic. The chorus is a weird blend of gospel and trap, and despite that sounding like it wouldn't work at all, it does. The beat, the harmonized chorus-esque vocals, this just sounds HUGE. Taylor's vocals are actually really impressive and gritty, which I didn't expect from her at all. The melodies are also really catchy and unique throughout. So why don't I love this song? Well, it all comes down to the lyrics. It's not that the lines themselves are bad. It's just that the entire concept of comparing love to drugs is just so overwrought and cliche. We get it, songwriters. Love is addictive. Drugs are addictive. It's not as unique and meaningful as you think it is, so please stop using this metaphor. 7/10
5. "Delicate"
This one's okay, not much else to it. This song makes use of the vocoder effect, which can be used in interesting ways, but I'm not sure why it's here. She said it was used to make the song feel more emotional, but it misses the mark for me. It's just distracting. What I do like is the lyrics of this song. This one's about how Taylor wants a love interest to love her for who she is, because she knows what the public thinks of her. My favorite lyric is "We can't make any promises now...but you can make me a drink", which is just really funny to me. I also like the slight tropical vibe to this song, which is completely new territory for Taylor. Her vocals are also tender and (excuse the pun) delicate, yet somewhat seductive. It's pretty, but it's not super memorable. 6.5/10
6. "Look What You Made Me Do"
And here we have the lead single of the album, and honestly...I cannot stand this song. It is just so, so bad. So bad that my mom had to text me during work to tell me about how bad it is. I feel like this song wasn't written because Taylor wanted to make a good, functional song. It was probably written solely to cause controversy and piss people off, which is sad.The lyrics prove that no matter what people say, she's still playing the victim in all of her feuds. Hell, even just the title, proves that she's still playing the victim, because if she wasn't, it wouldn't be called "Look What You Made Me Do"! The beat is boring for the most part but it has random, annoying, and confusing noises thrown in throughout the song. The chorus steals from the '90s-whatever-the-opposite-of-a-classic-is "I'm Too Sexy", which is...who exactly asked for this? And that's not even the most WTF part of the song! That honor belongs to the part in the second verse where she starts rapping and is extremely obnoxious.  Then of course we have the part where she proclaims the old Taylor as dead in a move that reeks of "trying-way-too-hard". The only salvageable part of this is the music video, which is...honestly one of the best I've ever seen. It's a little self-absorbed, but it's visually stunning and the self-deprecation at the end is actually pretty funny. Shame it had such a horrendous song to go with it. I don't give 1/10's very often, only to songs that deserve it. And to me, this one does. 1/10
7. "So It Goes..."
As soon as I saw the title of this song, my immediate next thought was "he can't keep his wild eyes on the road". I've probably mentioned this before, but "Style" is by far my favorite Taylor Swift song, and I don't think she'll ever top it. These two songs share a fraction of a lyric, but they don't share much else because this song is nowhere as good as "Style". This one just feels like album filler. The lyrics are generic and the production is good, but nothing I couldn't get from any other song on here. Taylor also sounds pretty okay, so I'll commend her on that. The big problem with this song is that it isn't memorable at all. It goes in one ear and out the other, and I immediately forgot how it went after listening to it for the first time. You can probably skip it. 5.5/10
8. "Gorgeous"
This was the third song she released from the album. My opinions on this one are actually pretty similar to my opinions of "Don't Blame Me", although that song is significantly better. What I mean by that is that it sounds really good but the lyrics hold it back. The lyrics of this one are the epitome of Taylor's "forced-adorkable" persona. It's about infatuation, but it's clear she's trying too hard to be relatable and charming. The main line in the chorus, "You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face, CUZ LOOK AT YOUR FACE" is lazy songwriting and makes her sound like a vapid teenage Tumblr girl. Then of course, we have "Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats...alone", which is pandering way too hard to her audience. The things I will praise this song on are the production and melodies. It's catchy, albeit a little forgettable, and the beat is really good. However, the lyrics knock it down a few points for me. 5/10
9. "Getaway Car"
I was excited for this one since before listening to this album, I had heard all about how good this song apparently is. There is a freaking Buzzfeed article about just how good this song is. And yeah, they're right. This is just some really solid synthpop. A bunch of fans believe this song is about Taylor leaving Calvin Harris for Tom Hiddleston, and honestly I don't care about that. What I do care about is about how good this song just sounds. It's reminiscent of many 1989 songs, especially "Style". The melodies are some of the best on the album and the production is outstanding. And there's a key change! It's subtle, but I noticed it, and it definitely adds to the song. Plus, I'm just a sucker for key changes. However, the very best part of the song is the outro. She repeats "I was ridin' in a getaway car, I was cryin' in a getaway car, I was dyin' in a getaway car, said goodbye in a getaway car" and the repetition is used wonderfully. Please give this song the single-and-video treatment, Taylor. I still think you're a snake but I'll be damned if this song isn't magical. 9/10
10. "King Of My Heart"
This one's okay, but it feels a little filler-y. It's the most girly and bubblegum-sounding on the album thus far, but it tries to mix it with a trap sound. I don't really like the contrast and I'd rather it just be a straight-up bubblegum song. The vocoders and dubstep-esque sounds in the post-chorus are weird and I don't really care for them. The lyrics are also pretty uninteresting. I do like the chorus, but that's the only really catchy and memorable melody here. I really don't have much to say about this one. 6/10
11. "Dancing With Our Hands Tied"
I was most excited for this one since the title really intrigued me. I didn't know exactly what this song would be like, but I expected it would be one of the better songs. It's up there with "I Did Something Bad" and "Getaway Car" as one of my favorites on the album. The production throughout the entire song, especially in the chorus, is fantastic. In the chorus it sounds atmospheric, danceable, and really cool. The lyrics are also really good. "I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted" is a fantastic lyric, saying so much with so little. I'm a sucker for songs that have semi-depressing lyrics but happy-sounding music. Finally, we have Taylor's vocal performance, which is probably the best of her career. She's still not a great vocalist by any means, but she belts some some pretty high notes in the final chorus that actually sound pretty decent. I'll give her props for trying something different with her vocals. Overall, this song is like the lovechild of 1989 and Reputation (as weird as that sounds) and it's definitely one of my favorites thus far. 8.5/10
12. "Dress"
This one has made some headlines for being arguably the sexiest song Taylor's ever done. Many people thought she was singing about Ed Sheeran due to the line "There's an indentation in the shape of you", but Ed confirmed that's false since it mentions the guy having a buzz cut, which he has never had. I don't get why she used that line if it's NOT about Ed Sheeran, but you do you, Taylor. This is a pretty sexy song, not really in the lyrics but more in the way she sings it. She uses a cooing falsetto for most of it, as well as doing some moaning before the chorus. My favorite lyric in this song is "And if I get burned, at least we were electrified". The beat is probably the weakest thing about it, but it does set a good tone for the whole thing. This one does a good job of showing her sensual side, but not in a trashy way. 7.5/10
13. "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things"
The title of this one made me laugh when I first saw it since I say it a lot in casual conversation, usually as a joke. This song is supposedly written about the Kanye beef, and it handles it in a really light-hearted way. Between the light pianos and sort of chant-singing in the chorus, it weirdly reminds me of "It's A Hard-Knock Life" from Annie. It's almost annoying in a way, and I feel like it would be annoying she made it a single and it got overplayed. The bridge in this song was actually pretty funny. I loved her big cackle at the end of it. This one's not my favorite, but it's catchy and it's nice to not see her take herself seriously. 6/10
14. "Call It What You Want"
"Call It What You Want" was the fourth and final song released before Reputation came out, but this is actually my first time hearing it. The lyrics to this one are really cute. It's about how she's found real love and even though the media's going to label them, she doesn't care because she knows it's love. Even though I don't care for Taylor, it's kind of nice seeing her be happy after having so many failed love affairs. The melody in the chorus is also beautiful and the way Taylor sings it is just so sweet. This is just a lovely-sounding song and it makes me hopeful that I'll find a love like this. Awww... 8.5/10
15. "New Year's Day"
This one ends the album in a really unexpected way. The rest of the album is loud, upbeat, and catchy, but this one isn't. All it has for instrumentation is piano, acoustic guitar, and some faint strings. Because I tend to prefer more fun-sounding songs, I probably won't listen to this one very much, but it is beautiful. The lyrics to this one are probably the best on the album. My favorites are "Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you" and "Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize everywhere". I also like the message of this song. It's not about who you hang with at the parties, it's about who stays with you to clean up the mess at the end. It's such a true statement and it's a good closer to the album. 8/10

I didn't write this on December 13th, but it's the day it's getting posted. I'm bringing this up because it's Taylor's birthday, to which I say: Happy birthday Taylor, your album wasn't nearly as much of a trainwreck as I expected. For the most part, it's just an average-quality album. There are a lot of mediocre songs on here, a few songs I don't like, and some really good songs. 

Best Songs: My favorite is either "I Did Something Bad" or "Getaway Car", with "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" and "Call It What You Want" in third and fourth place, respectively.
Worst Songs: The only one I really hate is "Look What You Made Me Do", although I'm not huge on "...Ready for It?" or "Gorgeous". 

I added up my scores and I got a 6.5/10 for the album overall, which is really accurate to how I feel. It's not the best album I've ever heard, and I don't know if I'd say it's entirely worthy of the hype, but it's better than I expected. It's better than whatever Katy Perry did this year by a large margin. I'm sorry this post was so long. It's mostly because of the intro, which I did not expect to be that lengthy. For next week's post, I'm doing a Christmas special. It's another First Impressions, but it won't be nearly as long as this one...or as positive, for that matter. You'll have to see what it is next week. I'm Stellar in Neverland, and I'll see you next week. Peace!

Stellar

P.S. Almost immediately after I listened to this album, I listened to a few Kanye West songs. Does that make me a bad person? 

My Top 10 Favorite Celebrities

I'm Stellar in Neverland, and I've got a lot to say today. Why don't I start off with a few updates?
-There's someone I want you all to meet:


This is Catalina from Neverland (often known as just Catalina or Cat), who is now the "face" of Stellar in Neverland. She is a Bitmoji and she is adorable and I love her. She resembles how I look in real life pretty well, but she also probably resembles a lot of people, so I think it's okay. You can't use her to stalk me is what I'm saying. Each post will have a cameo from Catalina in the beginning that somehow relates to the post for this week, and I might start writing short stories about her "adventures" as full posts. I don't really have a good reason as to why I'm doing this, I just kind of want to make my blog more unique.
-About a month ago, I kept on promising that I would listen to Taylor Swift's latest album Reputation and write a review of it. However, I couldn't listen to it immediately since she didn't put it on Spotify. However, on November 30th, Taylor decided to put her album on the streaming service, meaning the review will come next week! It could have been my post for this week, but I had already started writing this post and I didn't feel like saving it for next week. Plus, the review will go up on December 13th, which is Taylor Swift's birthday! I didn't even realize that until now but this is the best timing to do it. I just hope it's tolerable because I'd feel kind of bad for trash-talking anyone, even someone who I don't really like, on their birthday. 

My actual post for this week is a list of my top 10 favorite celebrities.

Get it, she's walking the red carpet like a celebrity! Because there's nothing more famous than being the face of a blog no one reads, amirite?

This is what I was referring to in my last post as "a list that is, shockingly, not entirely music-related". I came up with the idea at like 11:00 last Monday night and I thought it would be a good idea for a post. I don't think worshipping celebrities and making them the only important thing in your life is okay, and I don't worship any of these people. They're simply people who I love and admire for more than one reason. I love the work that most of these people have professionally done (their music, movies, books, etc.), but what really determines whether a celebrity makes the list is how I feel about them as a person. Obviously I don't know any of these people in real life, but from what I do know about them, they're all great people. They speak out about issues that matter to them, donate to charities, and just give off the impression that they'd be cool to hang out with. These people have all changed my life in one way or another, and I'm proud to call myself a fan of each of them. Also, this list isn't in any order other than the order I came up with them while brainstorming. Now I'm FINALLY done with all my rambling, so let's get started with the list!

(Also one last thing: this post has a butt-ton of links. I sincerely apologize and I'm not gonna make you check out all of them.)

1. Ariana Grande

Picture credit so I don't get sued: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/ariana-grande-issues-important-feminist-manifesto

Don't act like you're surprised to see Ariana Grande on my list. I've talked about my adoration of her on many different occasions and I even dedicated a whole post to talking about one of her albums. I've talked about her music many times, but even though she's my favorite music artist, that's not even the biggest reason why I love her. The reason why I hold her in such high regard is because she's a truly incredible person. People try to denounce her and call her a diva, but that's not who she is at all. Just look at how she handled the terrorist attack at her Manchester concert this year! It was a horrible, horrible thing, and she obviously felt so much responsibility and guilt for what happened. However, Ariana handled the entire ordeal with such poise and class. She paid for the funerals of the people who tragically lost their lives in the bombing, she visited injured people in the hospital, and she organized an extremely successful and beautiful benefit concert (called One Love Manchester) IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. I'm of the opinion that very few people, famous or not, could have handled the tragedy as well as she did, and the best part? She wasn't obligated to do any of this at all since the incident wasn't her fault, and it wasn't PR. She did it because she's simply a wonderful human being. She also speaks out about important issues, such as teaming up with her friend Victoria Monet to release a song about Black Lives Matter, posting about Trump's ban on trans people serving in the military on Instagram, and writing a feminist essay you can read at the picture credit link. It's sad how people still give her hate because they don't like her music and they're still not over the donut scandal (IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS PEOPLE), because Ariana is a genuinely fantastic human being. I said this wasn't going to be in any order, but if it was, she'd probably be #1.

2. Ellen DeGeneres

Picture credit: http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/a45504/ellen-degeneres-cover-story/

I mentioned my admiration for Ellen in my Top 10 Favorite Movies (shameless plug), so if you read that post, you should've seen this pick coming. Ellen is just a hilarious, kind-hearted, and inspiring person. She's most known for her daytime talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show, where she shows off her comedy chops. I nearly died laughing when she reenacted Taylor Swift's "Look What You Made Me Do" video. She also starred in the Pixar classic Finding Nemo and its sequel Finding Dory, playing the title character of the latter. Finding Nemo was how I was first introduced to her, and she made a great first impression. Nearly every line Dory says in that movie is endlessly quotable, and she really makes the role her own. Another thing I love about Ellen is how she broke down barriers. She came out as a lesbian back when homosexuality was still a taboo topic and refused to be anything other than herself. It's really inspiring. But honestly the thing I love most about Ellen is how much she loves giving back. She supports and donates to numerous charities, and she is constantly giving away money, cars, and other surprises on her show. She donated $75,000 to people affected by Hurricane Harvey, raised $12.5 million for breast cancer research, donated $500,000 to an underprivileged school in Detroit, donated $25,000 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation in exchange for Ryan Reynolds going in her dunk tank, and spent an entire season of her show helping people in need. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Ellen loves helping the less fortunate and it really just makes me love her even more.

3. Zendaya

Picture credit: https://www.glamour.com/story/zendaya-november-2017-cover-interview (This article is really good and I recommend you read it)

Actress, singer, dancer, and entrepreneur Zendaya Coleman (better known just by her first name) first started out on the Disney show Shake It Up, which is honestly one of the worst Disney shows of all time. The jokes were embarrassing, the characters were unlikable, the plot was boring, and the acting was mostly horrid. It also brought Bella Thorne, who would definitely make a list of my LEAST favorite celebrities, to the public consciousness. Yet its star, Zendaya, is a person whom I genuinely adore. She's only 21 years old and she's already accomplished so much in her career. She's been on two Disney shows, Shake It Up and K.C. Undercover (the latter of which she is a producer on- maybe that's why it's actually watchable!), as well as the summer blockbuster Spider-Man: Homecoming and will star in The Greatest Showman with Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron in a few weeks. She's also released some music, done some modeling, and took second place on Dancing With The Stars at the ripe old age of 16! Besides her many talents and accomplishments, I admire Zendaya for her refusal to take bulls**t from anyone and how vocal she is about issues that matter to her. When a magazine released a shoot she partook in and she saw she was photoshopped, she made them take down the retouched photos and use the natural ones because she didn't want young girls to have unrealistic expectations of beauty. She also frequently speaks about #BlackLivesMatter and how she hopes to provide representation for black girls everywhere. Finally, I love how fearless she can be with her red carpet style. She can wear anything and make it look good.

4. Demi Lovato

Picture credit: http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-41441941

My opinions on Demi Lovato have been really inconsistent over the years. Back when she was on Disney, I watched her show Sonny With A Chance but didn't know much about her. Around 2013 I claimed to be a "huge fan" but I really only knew "Heart Attack" and "Give Your Heart A Break". Just last year, I hated on her just because I was in my Fall Out Boy phase and she "ruined" their song "Irresistible". But this year I started listening to a lot of her music and watching videos of her performing live and I realized that I was wrong to hate on her. Demi's an amazing singer. She's not always the best vocalist from a technical standpoint, but you feel the soul and emotion in everything she sings. But what really made me fall in love with her is watching her documentary Simply Complicated on YouTube. I watched it on a whim and honestly, that was a really good decision. In the documentary, I learned about just how much crap Demi's dealt with in her life. She struggled with an eating disorder, a drug addiction, and was an alcoholic. However, she's overcome it and is in such a great place in her life. She's truly proud of her music, voice, and body, and I love how she's able to be so open about her struggles. The documentary also lets you see into her personal life. She's funny, down-to-earth, chill, and the kind of person you'd want as a friend. Demi is honest and real in everything she does, and that's why she's amassed the fan following she has. Plus, she's GORGEOUS. She's always been really pretty, but as of late, she's really been serving looks, so to speak. No other female celebrity can make me question my sexuality as much as Ms. Lovato.

5. Rihanna

Picture credit: https://www.glamour.com/story/rihanna-has-blue-mermaid-hair-now-and-looks-predictably-amazing

To a lot of people, Beyonce, Rihanna, and Nicki Minaj are something of a "holy black girl trinity". They are powerful black women in the music industry who are outspoken, influential, and controversial in pop culture. I adore all three of them and I struggled to only put one on my list, but in the end, I had to choose Bad Gal RiRi, as she calls herself on Instagram. The reason why I chose Rihanna is because although I love Beyonce and Nicki, they have this air to them that makes them feel untouchable. If I were to go to a party with them, I wouldn't be able to be myself because they're sort of intimidating. Rihanna doesn't have that vibe to her. I mean, you wouldn't want to mess with her, but I feel like I could go get a few drinks (if I were of age) with her and completely let my guard down. Rihanna is fierce and ambitious, which has led to her immense popularity, but she also appears to be really relaxed, witty, and like she doesn't take herself too seriously. I also admire how she isn't just successful in the music industry. She's ventured into acting, fashion, and most recently beauty with her incredibly successful Fenty Beauty line. Finally, I love Rihanna because of how unapologetic she is (hell, she even named one of her albums Unapologetic!). She knows her self-worth and she's unafraid to take risks in her music and style. She doesn't give a f**k about what people think of her, and it's why I love her. I genuinely think she's one of the icons of this generation.

6. J. K. Rowling

Picture credit: https://www.hypable.com/jk-rowling-stories-from-hogwarts-new-books/

If I would have made this post an ordered list on my old blog, you can bet J.K. Rowling would be #1. For God's sake, she wrote Harry Potter, which has had a bigger impact on me than virtually any other book series. That series defined my preteen years and is responsible for maybe 90% of my friendships. I even adopted the pen name(?) not_luna_lovegood on my old blog after my favorite Harry Potter character! Although I'm not nearly as crazy-obsessed as I was in my Brick Wall days, I will continue to love Harry Potter and have the utmost respect for J.K. Rowling until the day I die. J.K. Rowling is the epitome of a real-life Cinderella story. Before Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (or the Philosopher's Stone as it was originally published) came out, she was in a rough place. She was a single mother living in near poverty and she struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. But she had an idea that would change the world, and so she wrote a book. The Harry Potter series was an instant phenomenon and made Rowling arguably the most famous writer on the planet. Even though both the book series and its film adaptation saga are over, Harry Potter is still in the public consciousness to this day. Despite her immense fame, she's never forgotten where she came from and donates to many charities. In fact, she was the first person to become a billionaire from writing books...until she lost that title because she had donated so much money to charity! I admire J.K. Rowling for her inspiring story, witty comebacks, humility, and incredible creativity and talent as a writer. She's one of the two writers I look up to the most. Wanna know who the other is?

7. John Green

Picture credit: https://thekenyonthrill.com/2014/02/11/10-oclock-list-things-john-green-should-have-spoken-about/

John Green is my favorite author hands-down. I've read every single one of his books (except for the new one, Turtles All The Way Down, which I'll read at some point in the near future). Every single one of them is up there with my favorites (except for An Abundance Of Katherines, which isn't bad, I just don't like it for some reason). His book with David Levithan, Will Grayson, Will Grayson, is my favorite of his works and I recommend it to everyone. I've read it so many times. His writing style is sarcastic and admittedly a little pretentious, but his books always have genuinely heart-tugging moments to balance it out. The Fault In Our Stars is probably the saddest book I have ever read. His characters are realistic and his stories are about real things like cancer and LGBTQ+ relationships. I also like his sense of humor. I won't claim that I've watched every single video he's ever had a part in, but I have seen some of his CrashCourse videos, but I have seen a few for school and wow, they definitely make learning more interesting. The sarcastic remarks and references to Cool Ranch Doritos get me laughing every time. Finally, I feel like John Green just seems like a genuinely nice, down-to-earth guy. He's open about his mental health issues (he has OCD) and is a feminist, and he can admit his flaws. He used the r-word in Paper Towns and then, eight years, later, said, "Yeah, I regret it. At the time, I thought an author's responsibility was to reflect language as I found it, but now ... eight years later, I don't feel like a book about humanizing the other benefited from dehumanizing language." He also has done many charitable things with his brother Hank, and they have a charity called the Foundation to Decrease World Suck. And yes, that is the best name for a charity I have ever seen. 

8. Barack AND Michelle Obama

Picture credit: https://www.elitedaily.com/news/barack-michelle-obama-hiring-interns/1788025

This is where I get political...yay? Okay, I'll try not to get too political but if you get offended by liberal opinions, you're not gonna like this pick very much. This one's a tie since I really love them both equally. I genuinely believe the Obamas are the best President-and-First-Lady combo to ever take command of the country. Well at the very least they're a hell of a lot better than who we have currently in the Oval Office. I didn't know much about politics during the Obama administration, but looking back, I really do think he did a lot for America. He legalized same-sex marriage, advocated for gun control and stopping climate change, ordered the military operation that killed Osama bin Laden, and signed the Affordable Care Act, which helped over half of the nation get the health care they needed. Non-politically speaking, Barack Obama just seems like a cool guy. He has the best bromance of all time with former Vice President Joe Biden, he's hilarious (I feel required to link this video of Obama releasing his "birth video" to the public, and he always puts his family first, including his wife Michelle. Speaking of Michelle, I love her too. Michelle Obama is one of the first women who comes to mind when I think of a strong and empowered woman and a great role model. Many women who served as First Lady didn't do much active work in the position, but Michelle did. She advocates for healthy eating and started the Let's Move! campaign to stop obesity and supports military families and the rights of women and LGBTQ+ people. She handles herself with grace and class but she can have fun too, as proven by her "Ew!" sketch with Jimmy Fallon and Will Ferrell. I admire the Obamas because they seem like normal people who truly love each other and their country. And of course, I'd be silly not to mention how they broke down barriers as the first black President and First Lady, respectively. Awesome!

9. Zac Efron

Picture credit: http://energy106.ca/73-questions-zac-efron/

Okay, I've written eight really nice, lengthy paragraphs about why I admire each celebrity on my list. I admire them for respectable reasons like being a fan of their acting/music, the fact that they support charities, and their personalities. So allow me to take a detour from these nice, lengthy, respectable paragraphs and state that Zac Efron is on the list because I personally find him extremely attractive. Even when I was four and first saw High School Musical and didn't know anything about love, life, sexual attraction, or boys (to be fair, I still don't know much about most of these things), I thought Zac Efron was hot. I'm pretty sure the majority of girls around my age can relate. Just...his eyes, his smile, his hair, his abs...oh god his abs (I had to fight serious temptation to not put a shirtless photo on here)...he just makes me swoon. I'll try to make this pick more dignified by stating that he's done some charity work like visiting children suffering with cancer in the hospital so he seems like a genuinely nice guy. He's also a pretty good actor. I probably should've mentioned this in the Zendaya part but the movie they're doing together, The Greatest Showman, looks really good and I can't wait to see it. But in the end, Zac Efron's on here because he's hot. Hey, I'm allowed to shallow indulgences every once in a while and so are you, person who's reading this!

10. Walt Disney

Picture credit: https://www.laughingplace.com/w/featured/2015/12/05/how-well-do-you-know-walt-disney/

We end this list with the only deceased person on it, but that doesn't mean he's ineligible for the list. After all, who doesn't know Walt Disney? When I was in seventh grade, I did a project on Disney and how he changed the world. It was really eye-opening and I learned just how truly amazing he was. He was an innovator and an original, a legend in his field of animation. He created so many iconic characters and films like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella, and of course, the character who poses with him in the picture, Mickey Mouse. Disney dared to go where no one else would when he made Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the very first full-length animated movie. He also created many TV shows and a theme park, Disneyland. He showed that if you have a little creativity, you can accomplish anything. His most famous quote is "If you can dream it, you can do it," which is something of a life motto to me. He also showed the power of hard work because he didn't become a legend overnight. He worked hard to make sure everything in his movies was perfect and his creativity is why he's a legend. Then, we have the fact that he was a genuinely good person. Some people argue that he was racist because some of his works could be considered racially insensitive, but I think that was just part of the time period. I won't excuse it, but you have to understand that things were different back then. Besides, Disney's biographer Neal Gabler said, according to Wikipedia: "Not once did I observe a hint of the racist behavior Walt Disney was often accused of after his death. His treatment of people‍—‌and by this I mean all people‍—‌can only be called exemplary." He also was a philanthropist who donated to charities and helped children in need. Walt Disney was truly an icon, and he's the reason why the Walt Disney Company is still a powerhouse today.

That was...quite possibly the longest post I've done yet. At the end of every long post, I take time to thank YOU for reading up to this point, and I'm going to do it again. Thank you for reading all of it. Either way, I'm proud of it, and what's the point of doing things you're not proud of? Next week I'm FINALLY reviewing Reputation by Taylor Swift, and then next week I'm doing a Christmas special. I'm not going to say exactly what it's gonna be, but I'm going to say this: I'm both excited for it and dreading it at the same time. You'll get it when the time comes. Anyways, I'm Stellar in Neverland, and after SO MUCH RAMBLING, I'm signing off! See you next Wednesday, peace!

Stellar