Showing posts with label The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland #2- First Day On The Job

Hi, I’m Stellar, and welcome to Stellar in Neverland! In case you didn’t see my announcement last Monday, I took the week off last week. I did it for a few reasons, the main one being that I was dealing with a tragedy in my life outside of the blog. I’d prefer not to get into details, but what happened took a toll on me and my ability to write, and I wanted to take a week off to deal with my emotions. Don’t worry, I’m back and better than ever now! I started a series called The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland last month. Here is the link to last week’s post. I’ve decided that I’m gonna write a new installment once every month, and this is the installment for February. The series is from the point of view of my Bitmoji (the little cartoon of myself that appears at the beginning of each post), and it’s basically a fictionalized version of my life. This one in particular is pretty teenybopper-cliche, but that’s kind of the whole point, seeing as I’m a teenager. So I’ll quit my rambling and just say this: welcome to The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland #2: First Day On The Job.
Side note: My Bitmoji got a new makeover, being that I switched the avatar style from "Bitmoji Classic" to Bitmoji Deluxe. I think a few of them automatically changed styles, but some of them still have the classic style. Not that you really care, though. 
High school comes before college, so I think it would be fair to say that the entirety of the high school experience is specifically created to prepare students for further education. Because of this, a lot of the Neverland High student body has at least one job, likely to pay for college. My friend Will works at Neverland Acres, the local golf course/supper club, and another one of my friends, Macy, works at Harry’s, a grocery store in Tinyton, a town nearby. And of course, my friend Penelope Schuyler is the New York Times-bestselling author of The Nightshade Romancers, the mega-successful vampire series that will soon be a movie. And she’s sixteen, which I can’t stress enough. So yeah, everyone in my immediate circle has a job. Except, of course, for yours truly. I would’ve gotten a job sooner, but my parents insisted I wait until I got my driver’s license. When I did, I quickly began applying for jobs left and right. At first I wanted to work with Macy at Harry’s, because she’s told me all about how they pay really well and I just feel like she’d be fun to work with, ya know? I applied there, but so did Caroline Cameron (aka Little Miss Perfect). That girl’s got straight A’s, multiple scholarship offers, rich parents, and consistently flawless winged eyeliner. I can’t compete with somebody like that!
Of course, Harry’s gave Caroline the job, leaving me to search by myself. I applied to McDonald’s, Subway, and the bowling alley, but none of them hired me. McDonald’s wanted somebody more experienced, Subway said I didn’t have the right paperwork, and the bowling alley liked me...until they saw a video I posted on Instagram of me and Macy rapping “Gucci Gang” (ironically, mind you) and didn’t want someone who curses like that working for them. Sigh. The job I wanted more than any other was at the movie theatre about twenty minutes away. I love going to the movies, I figured it would be well-paying (because snacks there are unreasonably pricey), and I’ve watched enough Drake and Josh to know that jobs at movie theatres can get a little crazy in the best way. I applied, figuring they’d never hire me. I’ve heard that they’ve turned down quite a few people from my school, including, rumor has it, Caroline. If Caroline freaking Cameron isn’t good enough for the movie theatre, then how was I? I was feeling desperate, so I applied on a whim. I knew there was no way I’d get hired, but what’s the worst that could happen? The worst that could happen, as it turns out, is that I showed up to the interview with nacho cheese on my shirt because my idiotic brain thought going to Taco Bell before my interview was a good idea. (To be fair, I hadn’t eaten since 7AM and the interview was at 3PM. I was STARVING.) I also possibly offended the person who interviewed me by saying I’ve never seen a Star Wars movie. But you wanna know the funny part? I got the job! Yes, that’s right. I, Catalina Lily Taylor, am now an employee at the Sunset Hollywood Cinema in Almsdale. Take that, Caroline Cameron. (Sorry, I just really don’t like her!)
My first day on the job was on a Saturday. I’m scheduled to work on Mondays and Wednesdays from 4:00 to 8:00 and Fridays and Saturdays from 6:00 to 10:00. Sunset sent me my polo shirt a few days ago, so I strolled into the theatre wearing my polo with a pair of khakis and some new Converses. I attempted to style my hair nicely for the job, but it still looks somewhat disastrous. Altogether, I felt like I’m in middle school band again, forced against my own will to wear a stupid, almost grimy polo shirt and act “perfect.” Ugh.
I appeared confident as I walked with my boss, David, to the snack counter, but I was nervous on the inside. I kept having this repeating nightmare where I mess up EVERYTHING and spill Icee on myself and a customer. You know, like in a cliche teen movie where I star as the awkward teen girl who can’t do anything right but is quote-unquote “adorkable” and ends up being really hot and dating the Ken-doll male lead? Maybe that’s just me.
The first coworker I was greeted to wore a name tag that revealed her name as Patricia. She looked maybe a little younger than me, with short but unruly red curly hair. She had pale skin, light green eyes, and a huge grin on her face. I could tell I was going to like her.
“HI!!!!!!!!!” she said enthusiastically, practically skipping up to me. “You must be Catalina! David’s told us all about you! I’m Patricia O’Brien, but you can call me Pixie! Or Pixy Stick! I can feel like we’re going to be friends! Is it true that you’ve never seen a Star Wars movie? David told us that. Don’t worry, I’m not offended! But Marcus will be!” Her voice was high pitched and sugary and she talked a mile a minute. I could see why someone would think she was annoying, but I found her kind of adorable.
“Umm...hi?” I said awkwardly, then nervously chuckled. Pixie giggled so loudly the entire theatre could hear her. I began to grin, because I’ll be damned if her enthusiasm wasn’t contagious. “So, you’re Pixie, who’s this Marcus dude?”
“Marcus Williams, at your service. Welcome to Sunset, your new place of employment,” a deep baritone voice said almost sarcastically. I looked up to see a tall black older teen who looked vaguely familiar shake my hand. He had short black hair, dark eyes, and a medium build, and he wore glasses. I couldn’t get past his face. I knew I had seen him before, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember where.
“Hi, Marcus. Not trying to be awkward here, but...do I know you? I swear I’ve seen you before,” I shrugged.
“I’ve never seen you, but maybe you know my brother Isaiah? He’s a running back for Boatwright High. Nationally ranked. Won the state championship three times. No big deal.” Despite what he was saying, he didn’t sound like he was all that impressed. There was a twinge of jealousy to the way he spoke, like he felt overshadowed by his brother.
“Oh yeah! That makes sense now. My dad and brother are, like, always talking about how good your brother is, but I don’t really care about football so I tune out. No offense.”
“None taken. I don’t really care about it either. I like comic books and Star Wars. I’m a bit offended that you haven’t seen any of the movies, but if we can fix that, we can probably get along.” He laughed, more of a soft-spoken chuckle than a guffaw like Pixie.
There was one other new coworker I had to meet, a skinny Hispanic-looking (is that racist?) boy. He had curly black hair, chestnut-brown eyes, thick lips, and pronounced cheekbones. He looked sad, so I decided to give him a little space. Pixie didn’t let me, though, as she yelled, “Hey Ramon! Come meet your new coworker!”
Ramon walked over and sighed. “Hi,” he said wistfully. “Are you Catalina?”
“Yeah. Is something wrong? You look sad.”
“I’d prefer not to talk about it.” He walked away.
Pixie pulled me over and whispered, “His boyfriend broke up with him a few days ago, and he’s still not over it. He’s been moody ever since.”
“Pixie, I told you not to talk about it!” Ramon sounded angry.
“Well, I’ve never dated, so I don’t know what advice to give you. I guess I’d say just take some time and cry it out while eating Ben & Jerry’s? That’s what I always hear.”
“I’m surprised she didn’t immediately comment that he was gay, or make a joke about he’s her new gay best friend,” Marcus quipped. “That’s what Brynn did the first time she met him.”
“Who’s Brynn?” I asked. Pixie began to speak before she was rudely interrupted by another coworker. She looked like a model, with big blue eyes, long platinum blonde hair, thick eyebrows, and perfectly straight white teeth. She walked like she owned the place and had everyone under her finger. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew she reminded me of Caroline. I hated her instantly.
“That...would be Brynn.” Pixie’s normally hyperactive self shrunk all of a sudden, and from the looks on the boys’ faces, I could tell that they all hated her.
“What’s up losers?” Brynn’s voice was pretty much what I expected. She spoke like she thought she was better than everyone else, and her tone was obnoxious and vapid. She looked at my coworkers, then scoffed when she saw me. “Oh...the newbie’s here. Ugh.”
I glanced at Pixie, who looked as scared as I felt. “Y-you know, Brynn, I d-don’t think you should be so judgy...Catalina could be...g-great for all you know,” Pixie stuttered.
“Shut up Pixie, no one cares what you think. I don’t care about Caterina or whatever the new girl’s name is, all I know is she…,” she glared at me. “...is the reason why I have to take a paycut. I’m never gonna get into an Ivy League school now. The thought of getting to Harvard is the only reason why I put up with you morons anyway, but now that’s never gonna happen because I won’t have enough money.”
“Brynn, your dad owns like half of Wall Street. Money should be the least of your problems,” Marcus sighed.
“Besides, last time I checked, Harvard doesn’t accept people who bully and harrass people they’ve only known for two minutes!” I said passionately. “ I may not be Miss Perfect, and I may not be drowning in my own wealth, and I’ll never make it into an Ivy League school. But at least I have humility, something that I am quickly discovering that you lack! Everybody knows that the girl who pushes people down to get to the top will always lose. You know why? Because, honey, karma is never wrong. Karma will come back and knock you off of your cloud, and none of us- not Pixie, not Marcus, not Ramon, and definitely not me- will be there to help you. So back off.”
As soon as I finished speaking, everyone was awestruck. Pixie gave me a hug and yelled, “You go, girl!” as loudly as she could. Marcus gave me a round of applause and a look that said, I did not expect that from her. Even Ramon came out of his corner, clapped, and smiled at me. Truth be told, I felt a little mean for my outburst, but I mostly felt awesome.
Brynn stormed off to the bathroom in a feisty rage. Served her right. As soon as she was gone, my coworkers began talking excitedly about how proud they were of me. Apparently, they’ve all hated Brynn for quite some time, and they were proud of me for saying everything that they had wanted to for awhile now. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t notice him.
“Hi, sorry I’m late. Lacrosse practice ran long,” he quickly apologized, hurrying behind the snack counter. I couldn’t believe it. They say love at first sight isn’t real, but thanks to my first impression with this mystery guy, I could confirm this as false. He was the single most attractive guy I had ever seen, with chocolate brown hair spiked up in just the right way to make me swoon, amber eyes that squinted as he smiled, adorable dimples, and a smile that left me feeling weak. I had to practice some incredible self-control to stop myself from drooling. I took another look at him to notice his body, which was...oh my god. He was muscular, but not to the point where it looked like he was constantly working out. His biceps were perfectly ripped to my liking, and I bet his abs were perfect. I would have loved to see him shirtless...oh my god Catalina, you sound like such a pervert! For the sake of everyone’s sanity, I will shut up.
He looked at me and smiled, and I thought I was going to have heart palpitations. “You must be the new girl! Carolina, right?”
“No, I’m Catalina.” He looked like a puppy after he realized he messed my name up, adorably, genuinely sad. “Nice try,” I told him out of kindness. And also to prevent myself from saying what was really on my mind. Do you have a girlfriend? You’re so attractive you can’t possibly NOT have a girlfriend. Any girl would be lucky to have you. If you do have a girlfriend, which you probably do, do you also have an identical twin brother? And with the incredibly slim chance that you’re single, do I have any chance of being your girlfriend?
“Nice to meet you, Catalina. I’m Josh, and I look forward to working with you.” I had to giggle once he told me his name. Of course it was Josh. He noticed, and seemed to be confused. “Did I do something funny?” he asked.
“Sorry, it’s just that over time, I’ve realized that I consistently have a thing for Joshes. It started in like first grade, when there was this dude named Joshua who I don’t even remember liking that much but wrote that I was gonna marry. I was so weird in first grade. And I still am weird. But not like, creepy-weird. I don’t, like, collect the teeth of famous people or anything.” SHUT UP, CATALINA. It’s a miracle that a boy of this caliber is talking to you at all. Don’t blow it.
“That’s a relief. So, do I join your list of lovers named Josh?”
YES! YES! YES! “Well, I don’t know you too well but you seem nice enough...maybe?”
“Duly noted,” he laughed. His laugh sounded like music to my ears. “So, Catalina. What kind of stuff are you into?”
“I like writing.”
“Me too! What do you write?”
“You know...anything. I mainly write realistic fiction, but I can turn out a pretty bomb English paper in an hour. You know, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten below an A- on an English paper.” I laughed nervously.
“Interesting. I guess I’m not into writing-writing, if you know what I mean. I’m more into songwriting. Me and my friends just started a band, but we haven’t played any gigs yet. I’m the lead singer, and I play guitar and write the songs.”
Oh my god. As if this dude couldn’t get any more perfect, he just so happens to be a musician. Musicians are like kryptonite for me. Roughly 99% of the dudes I’ve had crushes on have been musicians. There’s just something so sexy about a guy who, regardless of talent, is as passionate about his music as he is about you. Swoon. I’m convinced God created this boy for the sole purpose of killing me. “Um...you write songs? That’s cool. I wish I could write songs. I tried to be a songwriter in elementary school but everything I wrote was garbage. And like three lines long. Horrible.” Catalina, this is the second time you’ve brought up your embarrassing childhood in front of this guy. He doesn’t care about it. Stop it. OH DAMN YOU AND YOUR PERFECTNESS JOSH PLEASE STOP MAKING ME FEEL FLUSTERED.
“And I wish I could write awesome English papers, so I guess we’re even.” WHAT? PERFECT JOSH IS JEALOUS OF ME? ASDKFSJDKLFJASKLDJFSKLAFD.
“So, tell me about your band. Who’s all in it? Are you guys any good? No offense. I’m sure you’re wonderful.”
“It’s me and a few of my friends from school. Hayden, Drew, and Tyler. We’re called Rollercoaster Streets and we’re as good as a band who’s only had two rehearsals. Which is to say, not that good.”
“Haha. Where do you go to school?”
“St. Martin’s.”
“Oh...well, you’re not gonna like me saying that I go to Neverland.” St. Martin’s Catholic Academy and Neverland High are fierce rivals, and I mean fierce. I’m pretty sure I’m committing treason by interacting with one of them.
“I guess this means we can’t be friends? Unless you wanna do some Romeo and Juliet-type thing. But they kill themselves at the end so I don’t see why you’d wanna do that.”
That wasn’t even that funny, but Josh had such an immense charm and natural sense of charisma that every word he said seemed hilarious. Plus I’m just a sucker for bad jokes-if you can even call them that. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe.
“Um...Catalina, are you okay?” Marcus said to me. I was so lost in my conversation with Josh I forgot there were other people in the place.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Now to change the topic: Josh, did you see what Catalina did earlier?” Marcus asked.
“She owned Brynn! Brynn was being really mean to me so Catalina was just like, ‘You’re being horrible and karma will get you.’ It was AWESOME!” Pixie said in her trademark excited way.
“Well, she was being really rude, and it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. I don’t want any of you to think I’m like her,” I defended myself.
“You’re good. We all HATE her, and anyone who shows that much loyalty to a person they’ve just met is pretty awesome in my book,” Josh winked at me. Am I going to faint?
“Brynn cheated on him last year,” Ramon added, breaking his silence.
“...oh. As if I didn’t already hate that girl already. I’ve never dated anyone, but if I were to, I would never cheat on them. Common courtesy, you know?” I said sincerely.
“Ignoring the fact that you’re from Neverland, you seem pretty cool, Catalina. I look forward to working with you. See ya round,” Josh said as he walked out. I checked the time, shocked that it was already time to leave. I guess time really does fly when you’re having fun...or rather talking with the most attractive teenage boy on the planet.
Pixie and I walked out to the parking lot. She explained to me that she had to get a ride with her mom because she wasn’t old enough to drive. As we walked, we made small talk.
“Oh my god, Cat, you totally looove Josh! And he totally seems to looove you too! I ship it!” She got so excited talking about it.
“Was it obvious? I felt like a nervous wreck. He’s just...so dreamy. And funny. And he’s in a band. And he’s really, really cute. Did I mention that?”
“No offense, but it was pretty obvious. You were blushing the whole time. But that’s okay. He probably didn’t even notice. Josh is cute, but he’s painfully ignorant sometimes. We had to straight-up tell him that Ramon was gay...”
“Really?”
“...even though his boyfriend at the time had been coming to see him at work for a month! He thought they were brothers!” Pixie was giggling really hard to the point where it was hard to understand her. But hey, it was funny.
“Oh my god, that’s hilarious. So what about you? Are you dating anyone?”
“Not at the moment. I’m trying to look but I can’t find anyone. I’m bi, so you’d think the field is wide open with both boys and girls. Nope! But just between you and me, I kind of have a thing for Marcus. Don’t tell him!”
“I can see that happening. You should ask him to hang out. You’d be cute together. Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”
“You’re a good friend, Catalina. You know that?”
“Thanks. I gotta go. I’ll see you Monday.”
“Bye!” She scurried into her mom’s SUV. I got into my dad’s Nissan Altima and headed home. As I drove, all I could think of was Josh. I couldn’t wait to tell Macy and Penelope about my big, stupid, embarrassing crush on him. He was just...too perfect. All I wanted was to see him again. And call him my boyfriend. It’s still unclear whether he’s taken or not. Anyways, Catalina out. Hopefully next time she’s less of a nervous wreck.




Yeah, I know, it’s really cliche. And I didn’t actually mention anything about Catalina or anyone doing actual work. And Catalina is a bit of a Mary-Sue. Don’t worry, I’ll fix these things as the story goes on. Also one last thing: Some of the characters in this series are based off of real people, but Caroline and the movie theatre gang are not. Josh is, to be pretentious, “an amalgamation of every boy I’ve ever loved”, and the others are from my imagination. I’m just mentioning that in case someone who actually knows me reads this and is curious or nosy. My birthday is in two weeks, so I have one more post left before my birthday special. I’m going to do something inspired by songs or TV shows from my childhood, but I’m not entirely sure exactly what. As for Stellar Adventures, the next installment will come out some point in March. I’m not saying much about what it’s gonna be, but it’s inspired by something that happened as a result of the tragedy I mentioned at the beginning. Don’t worry, it’s actually a very fun story. I’m Stellar in Neverland and I’ll see you next week. Peace!


Stellar

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland #1- The Assembly

Hi, I'm Stellar, and welcome to Stellar in Neverland. The intro for this one is going to be relatively short for once, mainly because I just really want to get started with the rest of the post! In the preamble of last week's post, I mentioned that I wanted to start writing a series of short stories called The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland, but I didn't know exactly when I would start. Well, it turns out that I decided to start them right after that post! The series is an alternate universe of my life, and basically what would happen if my life were on steroids. The characters are mostly inspired by people I know in real life, with Catalina (my Bitmoji and the "face" of my blog) being a slightly altered version of myself. However, the events that happen to them, as you'll see, are weirder than anything that happens in my life. This one is inspired by a daydream I had in class one day that I personally thought was hilarious, so I decided to write a story about it. I don't have a schedule planned for when I'll write The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland. It will probably just come whenever I get ideas for it. So with that being said, I present to you: The Assembly.
Think of this as the cover artwork if this were a book. 

It was just another Friday morning at Neverland High School. Other than the fact that all of the students were exhausted due to the insane amount of tests our teachers decided to throw at us the previous two days, it was completely expected. Personally, I was just anxious to get the hell out of there. My name is Catalina Lily Taylor, I'm sixteen years old, and I live in a town that is literally named after the fictional location in Peter Pan where children go to avoid growing up. I like to think my hometown is pretty normal, but the fact that it is a town called Neverland proves otherwise. I'm a sophomore at Neverland High School, and it's not horrible as far as high schools go unless we're talking about biology. I like most of my teachers, I get good grades, I have the best best friends known to man, and nothing really embarrassing or out-of-the-ordinary happens here. Until today.

My best friends are Penelope Schuyler, who is best known for being a New York Times-bestselling author at the ripe old age of 16, and William Mason, who is not a bestselling author but is still pretty cool nonetheless. We have gym class first hour, and we were all waiting for class to start. We talked for a little bit about how awful testing was yesterday and our plans for the weekend. At 7:55, the bell rang and we all said the Pledge of Allegiance. We don't have any morning announcements, so we were shocked to hear our principal, Mr. Espinoza, continue to speak after reciting the pledge. All he said was "There will be a schoolwide assembly at 2:30 today, so please come to the gym after seventh hour."

The rest of our classmates were confused as to what the assembly could be about. When Mrs. Wallace, my gym teacher, arrived, Will asked her if she knew what the assembly was about. She told us she was just as confused as the rest of us, and she would let us know if she found out anything. We then started our regular gym class, which consisted of some working out in the cardio room before we started playing basketball. It wasn't fun, but the conversations we all had about the mystery of the assembly were.

We then went to second hour band, where the assembly was still a hot topic. I think about five kids brought it up to the entire class, and who knows how many side conversations about it went on in between songs? Mrs. Ellison, our director, was unsure about what the assembly was for, but they did tell her we didn't have to play anything for pep band. A few of my band friends looked disappointed, but most of the band (myself included) was relieved.

My third class of the day and my last before lunch is geometry with Mr. Fitzpatrick. Guess what the topic that had the class talking was? No, it wasn't actual geometry, it was the assembly. Mr. Fitzpatrick had to ask us ten times to stop talking about it, and he told us he didn't know anything about it either. He seemed sort of uneasy about the whole thing, but I just ignored it.

Rumors about what the assembly was about spread through the cafeteria like wildfire during lunch. Penelope said a few people from her biology class thought it was to educate us about teen pregnancy and Will claimed he heard from a kid in his health class whom he was not particularly fond of that the assembly was for a teacher to come out as gay. My personal favorite assembly theory was one I heard from one of the stoners whose locker happens to be near mine. She claimed it was to announce that Mr. Espinoza was retiring and Snoop Dogg would take his place as principal, as well as president of the world. None of the theories I had heard were plausible, but that one was so out there it was hysterical.

A few other classes occurred in my schedule before we got to English with Mr. Lambert. This wasn't noteworthy because we pondered about the assembly, because we'd done that in every other class. No, English was noteworthy because Mr. Lambert was the first person, other than Mr. Espinoza, who claimed to know what the assembly was about. He didn't tell us anything else about it, which irritated us immensely. Penelope asked him if he actually knew or if he was just pulling our leg. He said he did actually know, but had sworn to secrecy. This made us even more anxious to know what would happen, and it made seventh hour Spanish hell. The suspense of knowing we had one more hour left before all of our questions would be answered made it so nothing in Spanish was accomplished and about halfway through the hour, our teacher, Mrs. Kirk, reluctantly let us talk about it for the rest of the period.

After Spanish, the entire school rushed to the madhouse that was the gym. We were so close, yet so far to all of our answers in life (sort of) being answered. Would the assembly be something practical, or would it be ridiculous like my stoner locker neighbor claimed? Would it be worthwhile? And most importantly, did Mr. Lambert have a role in the whole thing?

Once the entire school was seated in the bleachers, a pair of giant red velvet curtains blocked out the middle of the gym so we couldn't see. This added to the confusion. Sitting between Will and Penelope, I asked them, "Don't you think giant curtains are a little over-the-top for whatever the assembly is?" Penelope nodded, then shushed me as the entire gym went pitch-black. The entire gym went silent. Suddenly, a giant, blinding spotlight appeared. Nobody said a word but we could all feel the suspense and hoped that something amazing was going to happen. Suddenly, we heard a familiar guitar intro. What guitar intro, you might ask? Why, that of "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction, a classic amongst my generation! As the song began, the curtains opened to reveal something that was both scarring and wonderful at the same time. My friends and I bust out laughing at the sight of it, and we weren't alone.

Okay, I've built up enough suspense, and I know you're biting your nails wondering what we saw. I guess I should just stop rambling and tell you. We saw Mr. Lambert, Mr. Fitzpatrick, and Mr. Herman (my geography teacher from last year) dressed in matching tracksuits doing incredibly cheesy choreography to the One Direction song. Mr. Espinoza announced them as "your new favorite boy band, H-F-L!" I cried from laughing so hard.

Mr. Fitzpatrick began singing first:
"You're insecure, don't know what for
You're turning heads when you walk through the door
Don't need makeup to cover up
Being the way that you are is enough
"

"Maybe this is why Fitzpatrick was so uneasy about my class talking about the assembly!" I whispered to Will and Penelope.

Mr. Herman continued:
"Everyone else in the room can see it,
Everyone else but you
"

Then, all three of them semi-harmonized in the chorus:
"Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell
You don't know, oh oh, you don't know you're beautiful
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know, you don't know you're beautiful

That's what makes you beautiful!"


Penelope and I belted along to my heart's content, as did a plethora of my classmates. I could tell Will was judging the both of us, but I didn't care. To be completely honest, it's not that the three teachers were particularly great singers, because they weren't. I'm no singing expert, but even I could tell they went off-key quite a few times, and they sounded like a group of drunken frat boys trying to sing karaoke. But it was the novelty of three of the most beloved teachers at Neverland High teaming up to sing a classically cheesy One Direction hit that made it worthwhile. 

They ended "What Makes You Beautiful" after the first chorus. They then transitioned to "Drag Me Down", my six-year-old brother Lennon's favorite One Direction song. I pulled my phone out of my pocket so I could film it for him.

Lambert began the song, singing:
"I've got fire for a heart, I'm not scared of the dark
You've never seen it look so easy
I got a river for a soul, and baby you're a boat
Baby, you're my only reason
"

Fitzpatrick then sang the prechorus:
"If I didn't have you there would be nothing left
The shell of a man who could never be his best
If I didn't have you, I'd never see the sun
You taught me how to be someone, yeah
"

After that, they all attempted to harmonize for the chorus:
"All my life, you stood by me
When no one else was ever behind me
All these lights, they can't blind me
With your love, nobody can drag me down
All my life, you stood by me
When no one else was ever behind me
All these lights, they can't blind me
With your love, nobody can drag me down

(Nobody, nobody)
​Nobody can drag me down​
(Nobody, nobody)
​Nobody can drag me down
"

This one was funny because of Herman awkwardly singing the "Nobody, nobody" in the chorus. After the chorus, he cheerily announced, "Okay, now we're gonna slow things down. Get close to your boyfriend or girlfriend, if you have one!" Everybody laughed. You could really tell that none of the teachers in the boy band were taking themselves seriously, making the concert´s atmosphere feel warm and inviting. It also made me not feel bad about laughing at my teachers´ bad singing.

Next on their setlist was "Story of My Life", one of One Direction's ballads and a song that my mom has always loved. I decided to continue filming the performance for her sake.

Herman began the first verse:
"Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain
I leave my heart open
But it stays right here empty for days
"

Then Fitzpatrick took over:
"She told me in the morning
She don't feel the same about us in her bones
It seems to me that when I die
These words will be written on my stone
"

Lambert did the prechorus:
"And I'll be gone, gone tonight
The ground beneath my feet is open wide
The way that I've been holding on too tight
With nothing in between
"

The chorus was next, and they did it in unison once again. The harmonies in this one were particularly embarrassing, making them very amusing.
"The story of my life
I take her home
I drive all night
To keep her warm
And time is frozen
The story of my life
I give her hope
I spend her love
Until she's broken inside
The story of my life
"

"Okay, now we're doing another throwback. Get excited," Fitzpatrick said, significantly less enthusiastic than Herman was during his introduction. The throwback in question was "Live While We're Young", which Fitzpatrick began, singing:
"Hey girl, I'm waiting on you, I'm waiting on you
Come on and let me sneak you out
And have a celebration, a celebration
The music up, the window's down"


Herman took the prechorus:
"Yeah, we'll be doing what we do
Just pretending that we're cool and we know it too
Yeah, we'll keep doing what we do
Just pretending that we're cool, so tonight"


My phone battery was almost dead so I decided to stop filming after the third song, but the hilariously bad choreography during "Live While We're Young" made me regret that decision. They tried to harmonize for the chorus, but the horrible dancing they were doing made it hard for them to sing, so they mumbled for part of it and belted the other parts. I think Lambert tripped at one point, but I'm pretty sure it was on purpose. It sounded more like: 
"LET'S GO CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY tilweseethesun
Iknowweonlymet BUT LET'S PRETEND IT'S LOVE
Andnevernever NEVER STOP FOR ANYONE
TONIGHT LET'S GET SOME andlivewhilewe'reyoung

And live while we're young
Tonight let's get some
And live while we're young"


"Okay, this is our final song so MAKE SOME NOISE!" Lambert yelled, keeping the energy up. They ended with "Best Song Ever", one of my favorite songs by any artist, believe it or not. Because of my love of this song, I decided to risk my battery and film it. They didn't do any of the verses, just going straight to the bridge, which they awkwardly took turns singing:
(Herman) "You know, I know, you know I'll remember you
And I know, you know, I know you'll remember me
"
(Fitzpatrick) "And you know, I know, you know I'll remember you
And I know, you know, I hope you'll remember how we danced, how we danced"
(Lambert, screaming) "1, 2 - 1, 2, 3!"

They screamed the final chorus in unison. In the original song, band member Zayn Malik does this one really high note during the final repetition of "best song ever". Herman attempted to sing the high note in our version...key word being "attempted", because it was not pretty.
"How we danced all night to the best song ever
We knew every line now I can't remember
How it goes but I know that I won't forget her
Cause we danced all night to the best song ever
And we danced all night to the best song ever
We knew every line now I can't remember
How it goes but I know that I won't forget her
Cause we danced all night to the best song ever
I think it went oh, oh, oh
I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah
I think it goes
"

After the failure of his high note, Herman sang the outro of the song solemnly and all by himself:
"Best song ever
It was the best song ever
It was the best song ever
It was the best song ever
"

After the hilarious concert, the three teachers took a bow while the entirety of the student body and their fellow teachers gave them standing ovations. As if their performance wasn't hilarious enough, they performed a short skit afterwards that made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. 

Fitzpatrick: "Great show, you guys!"
Lambert: "Except for the end when Herman messed up on his high note!"
Fitzpatrick: "Herman, you're out of the band!"
Herman: "Hey, at least I didn't fall on my rear end like an idiot, unlike some people. (pretends to cough) LAMBERT (pretends to cough)"
Fitzpatrick: "Good point. Lambert, you're out of the band too. So now it's just me. Except I resign. Goodbye."

The entire assembly was probably the funniest thing I had ever seen. It was worth an entire day of suspense and craziness from not knowing what the assembly was about. Hell, I'd argue the suspense made it even more worth it! My school can be pretty weird sometimes, and while sometimes it's in a bad way, it's mostly in a good way. The assembly was amazing...but I'm going to struggle to see Fitzpatrick, Herman, or Lambert in any other way afterwards. But that's just me. Anyways, I have somewhere I need to be, so I'll see you next time for more laughs. Catalina out. 

The End

So there you go, the first edition of The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland is here. I'm excited to write more of this series, even if I don't know when the next installment will come out. I see a lot of potential for laughter in it. Next week's post will be the sixth edition of First Impressions, and then the week after I have a really special post planned for you guys...but that's all I'm saying! I'm Stellar in Neverland, signing off, and I'll see you next Wednesday. Peace!

Stellar