Every Fall Out Boy Single Ranked From Worst to Best

Hi, I’m Stellar, and my not-so-secret emo self has come back from the dead. Okay, that’s not fair, because I don’t think she ever really died in the first place. True, I’m not as obsessive over Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco as I was in 2016, but I still jam out to them from time to time. I especially love blaring their music when I’m home alone, and considering both of my brothers are in baseball, I bet I’ll be doing that a lot this summer. For today’s post, we’re going to try something I’ve never really done before, and that’s a ranking. This might be a new series, but I’m not sure. Basically, I look at every item in a certain category and rank them from worst to best. I’ve seen versions of this on Buzzfeed where they rank Marvel movies, Disney parents, ways to eat a potato (hahaha), and my personal favorite: every High School Musical song.Today, we’re ranking every single released by Fall Out Boy, because I thought it would be fun. I might do this with various musical artists, ranking every single (or maybe even every song, period) in their discography.

Okay, to be fair, we’re not looking at every Fall Out Boy single. Because here is a rule we’re using and will continue to use for future editions shall this become a series: no covers. Fall Out Boy has released covers of “Beat It” and “Ghostbusters” as singles, but those will not be included in the ranking. The reason why is that if I’m gonna listen to Fall Out Boy, I’m gonna listen to 100% FOB, something that’s entirely original to the band. (And also because, in my opinion, neither of those covers are very good.) There are 29 songs in this ranking, and I’m ranking them from worst to best based on my opinion and my opinion only. This is not a list of my overall favorite songs from the band (that post will likely come at some point, though), it is just a list of their singles according to the Wikipedia page for the band's discography.  So let’s get started, and as with the Top 20 Panic! At The Disco Songs post, may the pretentious and overly long titles ensue. Also similar to that post: I will get really geeky and passionate and probably embarrass myself. Deal with it.

Also, one last thing: this is completely subjective. You probably disagree with at least one of my placements, and that's totally fine!

#29. "Young and Menace" (Mania)

This was the lead single from the band’s most recent album Mania, but truth be told, this is the first time I’ve actually listened to it. The reason why is because...well, I heard a few snippets of it and made the conscious decision to avoid it like the plague. Many fans will claim it sucks because they decided to “sell out” or “go dubstep” or whatever. I don’t care about that. I claim it sucks because it just straight-up sounds abysmal. It starts out making you think it’ll be decent in the first verse, with a somber build-up that could actually turn into something great. Then they start quoting Britney Spears, and you’re just like, “Um, guys, what’s going on?” Then the drop hits. See, there’s actually another Fall Out Boy song out there, “Death Valley”, which has dubstep elements, so this is not a new thing. However, in “Death Valley”, it actually sounds pretty cool, which is something that can’t be said about “Young and Menace”. The drop on this song is annoying, goes on for far too long, and just makes you want to chop your ears off. Patrick Stump, the band’s lead singer (whom I will praise numerous times throughout this post) has a beautiful, soulful voice. Whose decision was it to chop it up and pitch-shift it to oblivion? The part at the end where he starts belting over it doesn’t make it better, if anything it just makes it worse. Fall Out Boy have written countless songs I love so this song doesn’t make me ardently hate them or anything, but it’s certainly a disappointment and I pray they never make anything this rancid again.

#28. "American Beauty/American Psycho" (American Beauty/American Psycho)

Not sure how much of an unpopular opinion of this is, but the title track from the band’s 2015 album American Beauty/American Psycho is one of my least favorite Fall Out Boy songs. This one is just annoying for me. The chorus is just the line “she’s an American beauty, I’m an American psycho” repeated over and over again with some “whoa, whoa, whoa”’s thrown in there. It gets really old fast. The lyrics are pretty bland, repetitive, and make no sense (“I wish I dreamt in the shape of your mouth, but it’s your thread count I really care about“ in particular is really baffling). And of course, the weirdest part is the rap-chanting thing after the second verse. Why is that there? Why did anyone approve that? If you’re getting out your pitchforks because I’m being harsh on this song, don’t worry. I love this band, but that doesn’t mean I have to love every song they do. Stick around, we’ll get to the good stuff before you know it ;)

#27. "Champion" (Mania)

From my First Impressions #1 post from last October, where I talked about this song sort of in-depth: “Oh yikes, Fall Out Boy. Now don't go thinking I hate them (because I don't), it's just that last year I went through a phase where I practically worshipped them and I'm unable to listen to any of their music without thinking of those cringey times of my life. After last year's cringe-fest, I've pretty much stopped paying attention to them so this is the first of their new music I've heard. This one's okay, but it's disappointing considering that they've made some really good songs. The lyrics are really generic and lack the snarky Fall Out Boy charm I've come to expect from them, and the beat is more poppy than it should be considering FOB is a rock band. The vocals are really good, though, and the chorus is catchy, so I guess this one isn't a total waste of my time. 6.5/10” Yeah, not much else to say there. (Watches the "visualizer" video) Wait, is that Post Malone? Yeah, that’s Post Malone. Hey, you know what’s a good song? “Psycho” by Post Malone and Ty Dolla $ign. I like that song more than this song. Yeah.

#26. "Immortals" (American Beauty/American Psycho)

“Immortals” was made for the movie Big Hero 6, but it also appears on AB/AP. I think the fact that it was written for a kid’s movie means that it’s one of their weaker songs. I mean, most soundtrack songs are probably written with more input from the producers of the movie than the artist themselves, so you get a more watered-down version of their sound. Plus, let’s be real: most soundtrack singles are just made to get a quick buck for the artist. Between the annoying synth riff, the grating chorus, and the unnecessary autotune, this is definitely one of my least favorite Fall Out Boy songs. Although I will say it is pretty cool that one of my favorite bands got to do a song for one of my favorite movies. I love Big Hero 6 so much, what a good movie.

#25. "Centuries" (American Beauty/American Psycho)

“Centuries” was the lead single for American Beauty/American Psycho, and when this song came out, I was obsessed. I just thought it was so epic sounding and awesome and I played it over and over again. Then I heard other songs from the album and realized, “This song is good, but they’ve done a hell of a lot better.” It’s just a weaker version of “Light ‘Em Up” for me. It’s not a bad song at all, and it does do a fantastic job of getting you hyped up. It’s just mediocre compared to some of the band’s other songs. Plus it doesn’t stand up to overplay for me, because I got really sick of it after a while.

#24. "Dead on Arrival" (Take This to Your Grave)

Take This to Your Grave, the band’s first album, is viewed as a pop-punk classic by many, but I’m admittedly not huge on it. I think it’s because it’s more of a raw pop-punk style than later albums, and I prefer my Fall Out Boy more polished but still with an edge. Also I think part of it is because Patrick Stump sounds really nasally and like he’s doing the stereotypical pop-punk voice in every song. But it’s okay, because his singing got better with every album and from maybe Infinity on High onward, he’s amazing. “Dead on Arrival” was their first single, and it’s okay. I like some of the lyrical metaphors about music, and it does show promise of what the band would become in the near future. It’s just not a song that I really come back to.

#23. "Hold Me Tight or Don't" (Mania)

I’ve heard snippets of this one on the radio. It’s definitely a different sound for the band, with an island-reggae vibe. To my knowledge, they’ve never done anything even close to this, and although it’s different, it’s still alright. It has a drop like “Young and Menace”, but the drop here is less obnoxious and makes sense considering the overall sound of the song. However, despite it being very unique for the band sonically, the melody, lyrics and vocals are all signature FOB. Just change some of the production elements and you could have something from Save Rock and Roll. It’s not my favorite, but it is really catchy and I appreciate them trying something new. I also like the line “We were lovers first, confidants but never friends/Were we ever friends?” It reminds me of a line from “Bang the Doldrums” off Infinity on High, which is one of my favorite songs by them. I appreciate the call-back :)

#22. "Irresistible" ft. Demi Lovato (American Beauty/American Psycho)

Ah, the song that made me hate Demi Lovato for a period of time. I used to be so pretentious when it came to this version, because the original is just so much better and Demi is just so horrible and it’s selling out and blah-blah-blah. I still think the original is overall better and this remix doesn’t really have a reason to exist other than to get the song more popular. But it’s still a really good song no matter what form it’s in. Yes, I prefer Patrick’s voice on his own, but Demi’s harmonizations are cool and she hits some pretty great high notes. Plus I know she disagrees, seeing as she keeps on trying to do soul-influenced music, but I’ve always felt like her natural vocal tone is better suited to pop rock, like in her Disney days. Overall, the “Irresistible” remix is a really fun and catchy pop-rock track with infectious “whoa-whoa-whoa”’s, but the original will always reign supreme for me. Also, the original has my personal favorite Fall Out Boy music video of all time. It’s so cheesy and over-the-top and they cram it with as many inside jokes within the fandom as they possibly can. It’s wonderful.

#21. "Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) (Mania)

Maybe it’s because I haven’t heard them as much, or maybe it’s because they’re just not as good, but I can’t put any of the Mania songs all that high up on this ranking. However, this one’s pretty solid. It sounds like an outtake from American Beauty/American Psycho. I really like the “whoa-whoa-whoa”’s and the main line “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color”, which is just so stereotypically emo it’s amusing. One thing I’m noticing about these Mania songs is that Patrick’s being a lot more confident with his voice and hitting even higher notes than usual. Here he does some high harmonized falsettos and he does some runs at the end. Good job.

#20. "Alone Together" (Save Rock and Roll)

Hey, I talked about this one in my Fall 2017 Playlist! Based off of my inclusion of this song in that playlist, you’re probably thinking I like it more than I actually do. It’s not that I don’t like it, because I do think it has some of the band’s best melodies ever and I have lots of nostalgia of listening to it in the fall of 2013. However, compared to some of the other songs on that album like “Death Valley” and “Where Did The Party Go”, it just feels like album filler. I’m not sure why it was released as a single over some of those songs. This is probably my least favorite of the singles from Save Rock and Roll, but it’s still a decent little song.

#19. "I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You)"  (Infinity on High)

Initially when I listened to Infinity on High, this was my favorite song. However, the more I listened to the album, the more I realized there were better songs. I really like how it’s more of a mid-tempo R&B-inspired song as opposed to the upbeat pop-punk the band was known for at the time. I love the verses and the pre-chorus, but the chorus is just kind of lazy for me. It still has some great melodies and lyrics (my favorite line is “We’re the new face of failure, prettier and younger but not any better off”), and I appreciate the experimentation they were doing. It’s a worthwhile addition to their discography.

#18. "America's Suitehearts" (Folie a Deux)

Full disclosure: Folie a Deux is by far my favorite Fall Out Boy album. It’s not even a contest, I just unabashedly love everything about that record. It turns ten years old in December, so I’m going to write a thing about it for the tenth anniversary. This is probably my least favorite song from that album. However, that’s more because it’s like an 8/10 while the rest of the album is a 9/10 or higher. Mostly higher. It is a really good song, and probably one of the best single choices. This song has a catchy chorus, delightful harmonies, and even a slight key change. It’s a cool song, it’s just not as WOW THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVER as most of the rest of the album.

#17. "I Don't Care" (Folie a Deux)

I find it amusing how for the majority of albums I’ve heard, the lead single is usually not one of my favorites off the album. “I Don’t Care”, the first single for Folie, does not buck that trend. If anything, it’s one of the lesser tracks, but considering how wonderful the rest of that album is, that isn’t saying much. And of course, “I Don’t Care” is still a ton of fun. It’s got one of their best guitar riffs and some particularly soulful vocals, especially at the end. The lyrics are really narcissistic, but they’re narcissistic on purpose, as this song is a parody of how self-centered people can be. And when I put it like that, it just sounds really pretentious, but (no pun intended) I don’t care. This song is still pretty great, even though most of Folie a Deux is better for me.

#16. "The Take Over, The Breaks Over" (Infinity on High)

This one has never been one of my absolute favorites, but I do like it a lot. It opens up with a really catchy riff which doesn’t outstay its welcome and appears at just the right times. There’s a pretty cool guitar solo, which is a surprisingly rare feature in the band’s discography. And on that note, the transition from the really long note on the word “fair” into the solo is majestic, best moment in the song by far. I also really like the melody on the “We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces” part. Lyrically it’s about how they feel about getting famous and it opens with one of the all-time classic FOB lyrics: “seasons change, but people don’t”. Again, this isn’t one of my all-time favorites, but it is really good and definitely one of the band’s most underrated singles.

#15. "Saturday" (Take This to Your Grave)

This is one of my favorite songs from Take This to Your Grave, although I admittedly haven’t listened to many of them in a while. This one just makes me feel really nostalgic for some reason. Maybe it’s just because it’s so 2000s pop-punk sounding, although I was only a year old when it came out. I think I just like this song because I know of its significance to the band. It’s one of their favorite songs they’ve done, and it’s the song they end most of their concerts with. Plus this song has Pete Wentz screaming! I’m not even that huge on screamo music, but any time he screams in a Fall Out Boy song it’s a delight for me. The best moment is when they change “I can’t sleep” to “me and Pete” in the final chorus. I just think that’s cute for some reason.

#14. "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" (Infinity on High)

This song peaked at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100, which makes it the band’s biggest hit going off of that. That’s weird to me, because it’s not one you really hear all that often anymore, at least not compared to other songs like “Sugar” and “Dance, Dance”. It’s also arguably one of their most pretentious, dare-I-say a**hole-y, songs. But dammit, it’s fun. When I listened to it for the writing of this post, I just went HAM the entire song. The chant of “this ain’t a scene, it’s a GAH! DEH! ARH! REH!” (yes, I know he’s actually saying words, but it’s more fun to sing that way), especially at the end when it’s a straight-up sing-along, just makes me happy. It’s probably one of their most earwormy songs ever. Also fun fact: you can buy a GAH DEH ARH REH t-shirt :)

#13. "The Last of the Real Ones" (Mania)

This was the last song I listened to for this ranking. I decided to listen to all the pre-Mania songs in a random order, then I did all the Mania songs in the order I thought they’d be based off of what I’ve heard of them, which is the actual order they’re in! Yay! So yeah, I saved this one for last because I somehow knew it would be a pretty dope song. Nothing about this is really reminiscent of old Fall Out Boy, but it totally works for me. It’s got a really great groove and the pianos are just awesome. Lyrically, this song is “a love song that uses celestial imagery to illustrate the gravity of the narrator’s devotion”, and considering my blog name also uses celestial imagery in a way, I enjoy that a lot. My favorite lyric is “I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me”, which is such a timeless-sounding Fall Out Boy line, like I’m not sure how to describe why but it sounds like it could be taken from a Take This to Your Grave track. This song is a jam and I can definitely see myself listening to it a lot.

#12. "Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy" (Take This to Your Grave)

I haven’t spent all that much time with Take This to Your Grave, but this is probably my favorite song from the album. I mean, I just listen to it and I’m just like, “Aw, how adorable.” Patrick’s really nasally as expected considering the era, but it works in the song’s advantage here. The acapella opening is straight-up legendary, and he just overall kind of sounds like a puppy. I know that’s a really weird way to describe somebody’s singing voice, but it makes sense to me in this case. This song is a crowd-pleaser mainly for the band’s oldest fans, but even I, someone who hasn’t loved the band for that long, can get enjoyment out of it.

#11. "Young Volcanoes" (Save Rock and Roll)

One day during the summer of 2016, I was listening to this song while playing Mario Kart Wii in my basement and I decided right then and there that this was my favorite song of all time. Two years later, it’s not even my favorite single from Save Rock and Roll, but it’s still easy to see why I loved it so much. This is just one of those songs that can make you happy every time you hear it, and it is far and away the most jovial Fall Out Boy song. It sounds like the soundtrack to the best campfire ever, where there are no bad vibes and everyone is accepted and united because of their love of good music. I want to live in the universe this song paints. Also, the moment when Patrick giggles after singing “We will teach you how to make boys next door out of a**holes” will always be amazing.

#10. "Alpha Dog" (Believers Never Die)

I think because this song doesn’t appear on one of the band’s main albums (Believers Never Die is their greatest hits compilation), it goes unnoticed by many casual fans. And that sucks, because this song is so awesome. It definitely sounds like a song from Folie a Deux, which makes sense because it came out shortly after that album. This song has some of my favorite lyrics such as “We must make it hard to look so easy doing something so hard” and “You’re not the first or the last but you’re possibly the prettiest”. Also Patrick goes pretty HAM on the vocals, especially at the end. If you think his voice is annoying, I can get why that would be a turn-off, but I love his voice so those vocal acrobatics make me happy. However, my favorite part is his low register in the beginning, which is...why doesn’t he use it more often? It’s amazing! This song is incredible, but I can’t put it any higher than this because the “I’m a star” chanting part in the second verse has never sat well with me and the other new track from Believers Never Die, “From Now on We Are Enemies”, is significantly better. That song is so unbelievably underrated and one of my favorite FOB songs ever.

#9. "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)" (Save Rock and Roll)

After Folie a Deux received lukewarm opinions from fans (despite it being most current fans’ favorite album, as well as mine), the band decided to take some time off to do solo work and just take a break. The fans didn’t know whether they’d ever get new FOB music...until February 4, 2013, when, after three years, they came back with this. Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary folks, this is how you do a comeback. Everything about this is just epic and massive and it, more than any other song, has defined Post-Hiatus Fall Out Boy’s sound. I mean, think about it. “Centuries”, “Immortals”, “Champion”, all of them have tried to do the massive sports stadium sing-along thing after this one, but none have come close. The way Patrick’s voice soars in the “my songs kno-ow what you did in the da-a-a-a-rk!” pre-chorus is eargasmic. I wasn’t a fan of the band in 2013 when this song came out, but it always got me hyped, and five years later, it still does. I can’t put it too high because it is extremely overplayed, especially at sporting events and in movies, but hey, it deserves the overplay.

#8. "What a Catch, Donnie" (Folie a Deux)

Oh my god, this song. Just the sheer mention of it can cause a Fall Out Boy fan to break down into tears. The story behind this song is that Pete Wentz, the band’s bassist and lyricist, wrote the song for Patrick Stump, who is his best friend and somebody who, based off of what I’ve read, has struggled with his self-esteem in the past. It’s probably their most depressing yet uplifting song ever, and it’s just so well-done and it gives me chills. It’s this huge, dramatic, and just heartbreaking ballad. It completely uses key changes to its advantage and the part at the end where a bunch of the band’s pop-punk singer buddies sing a medley of their old songs just gets me. For me, this is the emotional core of Folie a Deux and a definite highlight of their discography, even though I don’t come back to it that often. It’s just really heavy, man!

#7. "Dance, Dance" (From Under the Cork Tree)

From Under the Cork Tree isn’t my favorite Fall Out Boy album, but I definitely think it’s the one with the best single choices. All three of the singles from that album are amazing and deservedly some of Fall Out Boy’s most well-known songs. Hell, this is probably my least favorite and it’s still a 10/10 for me! The most noteworthy thing about it is that bassline, which is just killer. It’s so simple but catchy, which is exactly what a good bassline should be in my eyes. It’s one of their most catchy and frantic songs, which is why it’s still popular. The lyrics are about an awkward teenager trying to get with a girl at a dance, and I find that oddly charming. Although that’s probably because of the music video more than anything, which is the perfect accompaniment to the song. More nerdy Fall Out Boy, please! One last random yet awesome tidbit: Kidz Bop tried to cover this song on one of their albums but the band actively said no because it was too sexual. That’s just really funny to me.

#6. "Uma Thurman" (American Beauty/American Psycho)

2015 was one year before I officially became a Fall Out Boy stan, and yet it was “Uma Thurman” that defined that year for me more than any other song. I remember my friend who was formerly CHUCKLES on that old blog was all excited about this song around April, and then it sort of became a meme in my friend group. We went skating at our local roller rink and she requested they play this song, which they did. So I started writing a story about us making a competitive skating team called the Uma Hermans because Quidditch_Turtle kept pronouncing the title wrong. Basically, my love of this song boils down to 2015 nostalgia (because that was undoubtedly the best year of my life thus far) and the sample of The Munsters theme song. That’s a good sample.

#5. "Sugar, We're Goin Down" (From Under the Cork Tree)

What even is there to say about “Sugar, We’re Goin Down”? It’s one of the most iconic and beloved songs of the 2000s emo scene, and if I had to pick a signature song for Fall Out Boy, this would be my pick. “Sugar” is to Fall Out Boy what “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” is to their proteges, Panic! At The Disco. It’s not their absolute best song ever, but you can’t help but love it because it’s just such a classic! I remember back in my emo phase, this song did a particularly good job of making me happy even at my worst times, so it has that in its favor. Plus there’s the endless amount of memes based on people not knowing what the lyrics are:

I swear to God, Patrick Stump is the male Ariana Grande. Both are amazing singers...even if you don't know what the hell they're saying half the time.

#4. "Thnks fr th Mmrs" (Infinity on High)

“Thnks fr th Mmrs” was the first Fall Out Boy song I ever remember hearing. My memories of the first time I heard it are faint because I was probably only five or six, but I vaguely remember hearing a song that went “thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories” as a kid but never knowing who it was by. For that, I will always have a soft spot for this song and consider it one of my favorites. It is a really good song itself, and one of their more experimental-sounding (but still insanely catchy) songs from the time. This song opens with these huge horns and has some cool Spanish guitars in its bridge. Plus the chorus is really catchy and the song as a whole is fun to sing along to. I also really love the story behind the title. Basically, the band’s label was pissed because their titles were too long, so the band essentially gave them the middle finger and took out the vowels in the song’s title. One last thing worth mentioning: the girl in the music video is Kim Kardashian before she became the pop culture powerhouse we know and...love? Hate? Honestly, that’s completely subjective.

#3. "The Phoenix" (Save Rock and Roll)

This song means a lot to me, because it is the song that made me love this band. I will never forget that day. It was January 3, 2016, the last day of Christmas break. I had a bunch of homework to do because I slacked off because (Ross from Friends voice) we were on a break! I soundtracked my homework by listening to a bunch of my favorite songs and once I ran out of songs, I decided to listen to this one on a whim because I had heard it was good. Honestly, I had heard snippets of it and didn’t think much of it but when I listened to it for the first time, it blew my mind. I’ve described numerous songs on this ranking as “epic” but none of them can match the sheer scope of this bad boy. This song is a battle cry, what with its proclamations of “put on your war paint!”, sampled orchestral arrangements, and sweeping chorus. The single best moment is the really long note Patrick does after bridge, the “HEYYYY YOUNGBLOOD!” That moment right there is the kind of thing that can make a Fall Out Boy fan. At least it made me one.

#2. "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More 'Touch Me'" (From Under the Cork Tree)

“Of All the Gin Joints in All the World” is my favorite song from From Under the Cork Tree, but this one is a close second. To me, it’s the perfect embodiment of everything that made this era of Fall Out Boy great. A memorable guitar riff that sticks in the brain, wonderfully petty lyrics (“I don’t blame you for being you, but you can’t blame me for hating it” is just...whoa), slightly nasally but still charming and expressive vocals, and one of their most instantly hummable hooks. Oh, and an unnecessarily long, pop culture-referencing title that doesn’t appear in the lyrics, but that’s par for the course at this point.

#1. "Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet" (Folie a Deux)

I didn’t pick this song as the best one because it’s one of their least known singles and I want to boost my hipster cred. I chose it because it is, for now at least, my favorite Fall Out Boy song. I’m not just talking singles. This is, out of every Fall Out Boy song ever released, the one I consider my favorite (although there is one song that comes close and may have overtaken it by the time I do the favorites list, but only time will tell). This song is just a complete and total masterpiece in my eyes, bringing out the best of what this band is truly capable of. The instrumentation is straight-up massive, starting out swaggering and awesome only to switch into a somber piano ballad soon after. The constant change-ups in the instrumental are probably the biggest reason why I love this song. Plus the horns are fantastic and such a great accent to the rest of the song. The lyrics have the signature “word-salad-that-is-actually-pretty-deep-once-you-look-closer” that we’ve come to expect from Pete Wentz, but the overall message is pretty straightforward. This song is about infidelity, with the narrator being the “other man” to the married woman. It’s sort of a unique turn to what we usually hear from FOB, and the lyric “I don’t just want to be a footnote in someone else’s happiness” is one that really sticks with me. And of course, Patrick Stump gives what just may be his best vocal performance ever. Seriously, I frequently sing this song when I’m home alone and I end up out of breath every time. The dude goes from low to high in the blink of an eye (unintentional rhyming!) and I’m just left awestruck at how he does it. The best part is in the bridge where he just belts “does your husband know?” over and over again and it is glorious. I don’t know how else to wrap this up...oh, I can talk about the video! Basically it’s a really cheesy tribute to the 80s movie Weekend at Bernie's starring Panic! At The Disco and I love it to death.

So that's my ranking...for now. Honestly, it will probably change really soon, but I won't make an update as soon as that happens. I'm sticking with this for now. Oh, and one last thing: One last thing: shout-out to “The Carpal Tunnel of Love”. I was only going off of the list of their singles on the Wikipedia page for the band’s entire discography, but I checked the page for Infinity on High and it said that was the first single for the album, not “Arms Race”. I didn’t notice this until it was too late, and that sucks because spoiler alert: this song is “the one that comes close to being my favorite” and whenever I make my list of my favorite Fall Out Boy songs, you can bet it will be very, very high up :)

Next week's post will be just a list of songs that remind me of the summer, because school gets out for summer next Friday and I want to celebrate it, even if I'm doing so two days early. That'll be up next Wednesday, May 30. I'm Stellar in Neverland and I'll see you then. Peace!

Stellar

Sorry Again...

Hi, it's Stellar. Just letting you know that I don't have a real post planned for today. My plan was to do another Stellar Adventures in Catalina in Neverland, and I started writing that before I realized there was a really big plothole I'm too lazy to fix. I'm not even sure if I want to keep writing those stories anymore. I started out enjoying them, but now it feels like a chore every time I write one. Plus I just feel like they're not very good stories and my writing talents are more suited to other things. But at the same time, I'd feel kind of crappy for only getting two stories in before quitting. I'm not sure what I'll do.

Another thing I had planned for posting once I decided Stellar Adventures wasn't going to happen this week was another Quickie. However, I have a really big and stressful biology project I need to work on so that's not happening either. I should have something for next week, though. I basically hinted at it last week so I'm not going to say exactly what it is, I'll just say read that post. I'll see you then.

Stellar

Songs That Are 10 Years Old Now!

Hi, I'm Stellar, and I'm still on a "reacting to throwback popular songs" kick. Today's post is actually kind of similar to last week's, which was 2000s Pop Songs vs. 2010s Pop Songs, except this week, we're taking out the 2010s part. Today I'm going to be looking at a bunch of songs from 2008, and these songs were chosen because they were in this video. I was six years old in 2008, and most of what I listened to back then was country music like Taylor Swift (back when she was country) and Brad Paisley. Still, I like to think I'm pretty well-schooled in most of the big hits from 2008. I guess this could be considered a First Impressions post, because it's similar in format to a typical First Impressions post and there are a few songs I'm hearing for the first time, but honestly, I know way more of these songs than I don't. You know what to expect: I listen to a song, tell you what I think about it, and give it a score from 1 to 10. At the end I'll list my favorites. I don't have anything else left to say so let's just get started.

#1. "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" by Beyonce
Even as somebody who wasn't really paying attention to pop music in 2008, I knew this song. It was completely inescapable, appearing in countless TV shows and movies and being parodied to death. It has one of the most iconic music videos ever created, just ask Kanye...speaking of, this song also indirectly spawned the definitive pop culture feud of our time: Kanye West vs. Taylor Swift (I mean, if Kanye had never crashed Taylor's VMA speech and said that "Single Ladies" deserved to win Taylor's award, the feud would've never happened). To this day, it's probably Bey's most instantly recognizable track. But I'd be lying if I said it was one of my favorites. It's totally fierce and really catchy, but something about it is just obnoxious to me, and it feels extremely repetitive. I prefer Beyonce when she's both fierce and human, such as on "Crazy in Love". However, the one part of the song that I really love and feel doesn't get enough attention is the bridge. She just sounds fantastic on that part. In short, "Single Ladies" is iconic and deserves its immense recognition, despite not being a song I really love. 7/10
#2. "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay
A couple of the songs I talked about last week also appear on this list, and this is the first of them. I stated that out of the 34 songs I discussed last week, this was my absolute favorite. I just love it so much. I don't really have much to add from last week because the excellence of  "Viva La Vida" just speaks for itself. So if you don't mind, I'm pulling the Lazy Stellar trick and just copying and pasting what I said last week:
"Viva La Vida", despite not being my absolute favorite Coldplay song, is still one of my favorite songs of all-time. It is a sheer masterpiece. It has a memorable and gorgeous string riff that takes my breath away, introspective lyrics about a king's fall from grace, an iconic and melodically wonderful chorus, and even a solemnly beautiful outro. The entire song feels larger-than-life and completely epic. I was obsessed with the song three years ago, even making an absolutely horrid cover of it that I sent to my friends and would prefer not to share here. And three years later, that love still stands." I'm just going to end this by saying that this is easily a 10/10 and probably the best song here. 
#3. "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls
There are also several songs on this list I discovered from Just Dance video games, and this is the first of them. Unfortunately, this song is not one of my favorite songs from those games. In fact it's one of the worst songs on here, honestly. I'm not gonna be subtle about it: this song is extremely annoying. The lyrics are basically about how the girls wanted to be famous when they were younger, and they're really, really shallow. The vocals are also really, really irritating. They're coated in autotune, which I don't have a problem with most of the time, but it's sloppily applied here and it doesn't sound good. I also hate the way they stretch out "be on magaziiiiiiines" and "step out on the sceeeeeene", as well as when one of them starts speaking the lyrics in the final chorus. The beat is also really annoying and messy. Frankly, I think this song is pretty terrible. 2/10
#4. "Touch My Body" by Mariah Carey
I didn't cover this specific song last week, but I did talk about Mariah Carey in general there. Basically, despite my general lack of knowledge of her discography, I'd still probably say Mariah is one of, if not the greatest, singers of all time. Yeah, I know she's a total diva and she has her witch-with-a-B moments, but her voice is just...wow. I just wish this song allowed her to flex her pipes more. She's known for having a huge vocal range, but you really don't get to hear any of those signature high notes here. She only really gets to show off at the end, and even then, she doesn't do nearly as much as what I know she's capable of. I will give her credit for being able to pull of the weird, rapidly sung verses really well. But overall, this song doesn't stand out for me. The lyrics are just generic, occasionally even creepy ("I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN" is way more disturbing than it should be) lines about sex, and the beat is your standard 2000s R&B song. It wastes Mariah's talents, is what I'm saying. 5.5/10
#5. "Love Story" by Taylor Swift
For many people, "Love Story" was the introduction to an artist who would eventually dominate the world. (However for me, "Teardrops On My Guitar" was the first Taylor Swift song I remember hearing.) To this day, "Love Story" is a really popular song amongst my classmates despite A.) it's ten years old, and B.) Taylor Swift has released countless hits since then. One of the most noteworthy things about "Love Story", and something I am far from the first to point out, is that Taylor doesn't seem to know how Romeo and Juliet ends. The basic premise is that she's telling the story of Romeo and Juliet (probably as a deep and meaningful metaphor for her own forbidden love affair), but unlike in the actual play (where the title characters kill themselves because they can't be together), Taylor's lover talks to her father and everything is just peachy-keen. It's a pretty dumb song, but I get why it's held up and is still so beloved. The song is just so innocent. Taylor's voice and the instrumental is so saccharine, the lyrics are relatable to young girls who want to be swept off their feet by Prince Charming, and the entire premise is just cute. I don't necessarily like Taylor Swift at this stage in her career, but I will say I prefer Cutesy Country Taylor to Edgy Bad-Girl Taylor. 6.5/10
#6. "American Boy" by Estelle ft. Kanye West
Oh joy, I get to talk about Kanye West! Considering his descent into madness over the past few weeks (the highlights include supporting Donald Trump, refusing to listen to John Legend's extremely politely worded statement asking him to reconsider his views AND posting the private conversation on Twitter, supporting black conservative leader and #BlackLivesMatter critic Candace Owens and claiming slavery was a choice), I do not want to talk about Kanye here. Even more so, I do not want to talk about Kanye in a positive manner here, but unfortunately, that's exactly what I'll be doing because "American Boy" is great. I discovered this song from Just Dance Summer Party or whatever it's called and I instantly fell in love. It's about a British girl (Estelle) falling in love with an American boy (Kanye), which is a cute and unique premise for a song. The chorus is instantly hummable and sticks in the brain. Estelle sounds super-flirty and breezy over the awesome retro-disco instrumental. And as much as I hate to admit it, Kanye's verse is fantastic, confident but not egotistical (Kanye isn't being egotistical? *gasp*) and just effortlessly cool. Kanye may be a problematic moron, but this song will always be awesome. 9.5/10
#7. "Shake It" by Metro Station
Oh my god, this was my brother's favorite song when we were little. Every time it would come on the radio, he would insist our parents keep it on and he'd just get so happy. Listening to it now that I'm older, I'm realizing he probably shouldn't have been listening to it, considering there are some pretty dirty lines here ("Your body's cold, but girl we're getting so warm, and I was thinking of ways that I could get inside"). He probably just liked it because of the really catchy chorus, which to be fair is a pretty good hook. The rest of the song is kind of awful, with an irritating beat that can't decide if it wants to be rock or dance, vapid lyrics, and just an overall obnoxiousness to it. This is one of those songs that is pretty bad objectively, but I still kind of like it because it's catchy and it brings me nostalgia, even though I forget it exists from time to time. Also fun fact: did you know Miley Cyrus's brother was in this band? The more you know. 7/10
#8. "Circus" by Britney Spears
Here is another song I know entirely from Just Dance, specifically Just Dance 2016. The dance for that one is probably one of my favorites on that game, but the song isn't one of my favorites. Other than "Toxic", which I love, and I guess "Baby One More Time" is okay, I don't really like Britney Spears. I mean, I get why she's so famous and I even consider her a pop music legend, but most of her music just isn't my cup of tea. I think a big part of that is because I don't like her voice. And I know, she's not trying to be an A-list vocalist, but her tone of voice actively annoys me (even if it is fun to imitate). "Circus" has an interesting premise, basically being about how Britney loves performing and attention similar to a circus ringmaster. It's a cool metaphor you don't hear very often. However, I don't care much for the beat (which is kind of annoying, tbh) or Britney's voice. This song's okay I guess, but it's far from my favorite song of all time. 6/10
#9. "Lollipop" by Lil Wayne ft. Static Major
I'm something of a casual fan of rap music, but I can't say Lil Wayne is one of my favorite rappers. His voice just irritates me, and this song doesn't help. This song has so much autotune it makes someone like T-Pain sound human in comparison, and it's just grating. The lyrics are lazy lines about sex with the too-literal metaphor of "lick me like a lollipop". The beat sounds like a really annoying ringtone. Lil Wayne and Static Major (the latter of whom apparently died a month before the song's release, according to Genius. I'd never heard of the guy prior to this but may he rest in peace.) sound almost exactly the same, with the one difference being that Static Major annoys me less. Lil Wayne just sounds horrible on this song. And of course, one of the biggest problems is that the song just seems to go on forever and ever and it feels like it never ends. I don't like this song. 3.5/10
#10. "Disturbia" by Rihanna
I've said it before and I'll say it again: this is my favorite Rihanna song. Rihanna's been huge for close to 15 years now and had an endless amount of hits, which can vary drastically in quality. "Disturbia" is one of the darkest songs she's ever done, and yet it's one of the catchiest. I mean, listen to those "bum-bum-be-dum, bum-bum-be-dum-bum"'s (or however you're supposed to write it). Rihanna sounds fantastic, especially in the second verse when she sings "I gotta get out, or figure this sh*t out" in this raw, angry voice. The autotune is perfectly used to blend in with the amazing production, which is dark yet danceable. I feel like over time "Disturbia" has sort of been forgotten compared to other Rihanna songs, and that sucks because it's her best one. *checks Wikipedia page* Wait...CHRIS BROWN wrote this song? This already creepy song just got even creepier now. Oh well, despite those...unfortunate implications...this song is still a 10/10 for me.
#11. "Paper Planes" by M.I.A.
This is one of those songs you hear in random places but don't know what it's called. Then somebody plays it for you and says, "this is (whatever the song is called)" and you're just like, "OH, THAT SONG!" Genius says this song is about "tourist-murdering passport-counterfeiting thieves", which is dark, but it sounds so catchy that you'd never be able to tell. Okay, that's not really true, because the chorus is basically the line "All I wanna do is take your money" repeated over and over again with gunshots and cash register effects added for good measure...and there's the one part in the bridge where she says something about murder. But still, this is a classic example of a song that sounds happy but has dark or depressing lyrics. I really love the beat on this song, and the chorus is such an earworm. Frankly, the "this song sounds really happy but has really dark lyrics" trope is one of my favorites (which might explain why I like Twenty One Pilots), so this song gets a pass from me. 8/10
#12. "Forever" by Chris Brown
Guys...I hate this song. I hate it because it's a legitimately fantastic song...by famed abuser Chris Brown. I'm a person who values my morals over anything else. If a celebrity does something that severely goes against what what I believe is right, their reputation will be damaged for me, and it could be irreparable depending on how serious the crime is. Chris Brown has violently assaulted Rihanna, had a restraining order placed upon him by ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran (also because of alleged domestic abuse), mocked R&B singer Kehlani after her suicide attempt, and dressed up as a terrorist for Halloween- and that's just the tip of the iceberg. We'd be here all day if we were talking about every scummy thing Chris Brown has done, so you can look that stuff up on your own time if you so choose to. In my eyes, his reputation is damaged beyond repair and I feel disgusting every time I'm forced to listen to his music. But I'll give credit where credit is due: "Forever" is a really damn good song. Musically, it's a great mix between 2000s R&B and techno-dance music, and it has some amazing, if not a little bit dated, production. The lyrics are about falling in love on the dance floor, and they're actually really cute and innocent (to be fair, this was before the Rihanna incident). Chris also sounds surprisingly sincere. This song was used in one of my favorite scenes in The Office, and you'll know what I'm talking about if you've seen the episode ;). To sum it up, due to the controversial, often violent tendencies of its performer, I feel like I'm committing a sin for enjoying this song. But I do really, really love it...just not enough to give it a 10/10 cause it's Chris Brown. 9.5/10
#13. "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry
I talked about this one last week too. Despite my love of a lot of Katy's big pop hits, this is one I don't really like. I like the pop-rock production and the catchy chorus, but everything about the song's lyrical content is #Problematic. No, I don't think it's problematic because she's singing about kissing a girl and I find that morally despicable. I'm not homophobic, in fact I believe LGBTQ+ people are no different from their straight, cisgender counterparts and it's a damn shame that they face the struggles they do. Actually, I find "I Kissed A Girl" problematic for the opposite reason: it makes you think it's about an LGBTQ+ relationship until you look closer. The narrator of this song is a straight girl who's making out with another girl because she's really drunk and bored. It exists only to be fetish material for guys who find girls making out with girls hot. Katy had the perfect opportunity to actually make an anthem for the LGBTQ+ community (if not a song about actually being queer, a song meant to empower them a la "Born This Way"), but she instead decided to be "risque" and "shocking" and frankly, that pisses me off. The only reason why this song won its battle last week was because it was going against "Look What You Made Me Do" and pretty much every song sounds amazing compared to "Look What You Made Me Do". But still, "I Kissed A Girl" is a 3/10.
#14. "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz
Honestly, who doesn't know this song? This song was huge from 2008-2009 and you can still hear it every now and then. Unfortunately, it's not one of my favorite songs, far from it in fact. I liked this song fine enough as a kid, but now it just bores me. It's just your standard boring acoustic guitar love song. Some of the lyrics are pretty lame ("I tried to be chill, but you're so hot that I melted" is a really dumb line) and the melody is really basic. Also, there's a remix featuring Lil Wayne and yeah...I'd prefer not to hear that. This song just is really dull for me and I'd be happy to never hear it again. 3/10
#15. "4 Minutes" by Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake
An easy way to tell that I'm a millennial is the fact that I'm more familiar with the latter artist on this song than the former. The team-up of these two huge stars probably gave it tons of hype back in the day, but I was six so I can't tell you for certain. Also, I'm surprised this song isn't more remembered considering Madonna and Timberlake are both huge. This song has some really cool beats and a great usage of brass instruments. Both performers do a great job on the track, sounding confident and having a ton of chemistry (despite Madonna being 22 years older than JT). I also really love the prechorus, which has an awesome melody. Lyrically this song is about, I don't know, saving the world, but it also works as a great party song. Surprisingly, the one gripe I have is that the song is not four minutes- it's four minutes and four seconds. It's like, the song doesn't go "we only got four minutes and four seconds to save the world!" You had one job, you guys! Petty gripes aside, this is a pretty dope pop track. 7.5/10
#16. "Human" by The Killers
Is it bad that my knowledge of The Killers is almost exclusively limited to "Mr. Brightside"? I know a few snippets of other songs like "Somebody Told Me" and "When You Were Young", but I've never really heard either in their entirety. I love "Mr. Brightside" and the snippets of the other songs sound pretty great so I feel like they're a band I'd probably like. This is my first time hearing this song "Human" and my first impression is, "Wow, this is a really good song." The lyrics are sort of nonsensical, with the main line "Are we human or are we dancer" being 100% grammatically incorrect. However, I'm able to overlook this because holy crap this song sounds AMAZING. I guess I'd describe it as a cross between alt-rock and new wave and it sort of has an 80s influence. In other words, it totally appeals to my (whatever the auditory equivalent of an aesthetic is). There's this one part after the first chorus where it's just an instrumental break, and that part is so cool. I should probably get more into The Killers, but I'm lazy. 9/10
#17. "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga ft. Colby O'Donis
I love Lady Gaga. Not every song she's released is a 10/10, but I still think she's one of the defining artists of the new millennium. She's creative and she uses gimmicks, but she has the legitimate talent to back it up. "Just Dance" was her first single, and yet it's still my favorite from her. What even is there to say about it, really? It's the perfect introduction to the immense personality and craziness that is Gaga herself. It's the perfect blend of weird (the bridge on this thing is slightly bonkers) while still being an exceptionally solid pop song. Gaga sounds fantastic, even with the autotune (which is actually fitting here) and it's just an instantly memorable and fun little pop tune. Not even a mediocre feature from Colby O'Donis (who?) can take away from the brilliance of it. For me at least, it's one of those songs that will never get old. 10/10
#18. "Love In This Club" by Usher ft. Young Jeezy
I've heard this song in gym class and pretty much nowhere else. It's not Usher's best song (that answer goes to "Yeah!", obviously), but it's still pretty dope (I hate how much I use that word). The beat is pretty of-its-time. The synths, drum beats, and bass sound like your average 2000s R&B song, but during the bridge and outro there's this piano line which sounds really complex and almost like a piano solo. That part is legitimately awesome. Usher gives a smooth-as-always vocal performance and Young Jeezy's part is inoffensive, if not forgettable. The basic concept and theme of this song lyrically is exactly what the title says: it's about finding love in the club. There really isn't much to comment about this song lyrically. One last thing I have to say is that I really like the melody on the prechorus, something about it just feels nostalgic to me. Overall, this song is a 7.5/10. It's a solid song, but it doesn't compare to "DJ Got Us Falling In Love", another Usher song with a similar premise.
#19. "Sweet About Me" by Gabriella Cilmi
There are a few songs on here I've never heard, but this is probably the only song where I also haven't heard of the artist. I've never heard the name "Gabriella Cilmi" in my life, and I've never heard of any of her songs. This isn't even one of those songs I talked about during "Paper Planes" where hearing it makes me go, "oh, THAT song!" Anyways, let's ignore the fact that I've never heard of the song or artist: how is the song itself? Well, it's pretty good. Like the next song I'm going to talk about, it's a fun, pretty catchy soul throwback. Gabriella Cilmi also has an interesting voice and she sings it very sweetly (I know, how appropriate). It's a good mix of sweet but not saccharine, as the lyrics are literally about how she isn't so sweet. I'm not sure if I'll end up looking up more songs from this artist, but the first impression could be a lot worse. 7.5/10
#20. "Mercy" by Duffy
I'm sorry, but I will always and forever associate this song with the So You Think You Can Dance routine set to it. That's one of my favorite dances from that show and I always make sure to watch it whenever I go on SYTYCD binges on YouTube. Of course, that routine wouldn't be nearly as memorable if it didn't have a great soundtrack to it, and of course it does. "Mercy" is a great throwback-soul song, but unlike your average Adele song, it's really upbeat and catchy as hell (and no, that's not an Adele diss. I like her fine enough). Listen to this song once and the "yeah, yeah, yeah"'s will be in your head for eternity. Duffy has a very unique voice and she approaches the song with a ton of confidence, and the beat is a really catchy throwback. I love the bassline. I wish we had more throwback-style songs like this. 8.5/10
#21. "No Air" by Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown
Oh yay, more Chris Brown! Exactly what I want to hear! To be fair, he isn't even the main artist on this song, as it's a duet with American Idol winner Jordin Sparks. I'm pretty sure she had a few hits and then kind of faded away afterward. And the theme of praising Chris Brown despite my immense hatred of him continues. Whoopee. This song isn't as good as "Forever", obviously, but it still is a pretty solid power ballad. The production is a little dated, but I do like the string elements. The lyrics are okay, pretty much your standard love song lyrics. Where this song really shines is in the melodic composition and vocal performances. The melody in the chorus is gorgeous. Our two performers get to show off their vocals and have great chemistry, even though Jordin blows Chris out of the water vocally. Her voice is amazing. This is a pretty of-its-time love ballad, but it's good. 8/10
#22. "If I Were A Boy" by Beyonce
I love Beyonce. I think she's one of the most talented and influential artists of our time. So why do I have such mixed opinions on both of her songs here? This song sounds way better than "Single Ladies", to be fair. Beyonce gives one of her best vocal performances ever, sounding raw, powerful, emotional, and goosebump-inducing. The production backs her up really well, with a great blend of acoustic and electric guitars as well as some fantastic backing-vocals. The melodies are also really pretty and sad. If we were judging this song based on how it sounds, it would be like an 8.5/10, but nope, we have to talk about lyrics too. And the lyrics are where this song falls for me. The lyrics basically paint all men as being cheating, horrible people while the women are flawless and incapable of cheating. And like, yeah, I'm all for writing songs about feminism and double standards, but that's kind of despicable. Not every man is going to cheat on you, and women do cheat as well. This just brings me to what I think is one of the biggest misconceptions of feminism: feminism is not stating that all men are horrible and all women are flawless. It's just saying that men and women are on the same level. They should be praised and criticized an equal amount when it is necessary, and neither gender is better or worse than the other. So now that we're done with that feminist rant, let's just say that good music and bad lyrics balance out to be a 6.5/10.
#23. "7 Things" by Miley Cyrus
I was in elementary school in the late 2000s-early 2010s. OF COURSE I liked Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana! And yet I've actually never heard this song in its entirety until now. I guess I got on the Hannah Montana bandwagon a little late. I remember hearing parts of it some Webkinz video when I was younger, so I guess that's something. Everything about this SCREAMS Disney teen-pop from the late 2000s. The instrumentation is pop-rock, but more on the bubblegum-pop side. The lyrics sound like a cliche teenage girl in a Disney Channel movie wrote them, which I guess is the point considering it's early Miley. It's basically Miley listing off seven things she hates about her boyfriend, but at the end, it's seven things she likes about him, which is cute. Miley sounds as good as normal. Obviously not her best performance, but I do think she's overall an underrated vocalist. This song is pretty much what I expected it to be, a fine Disney-pop song. If you like Disney-pop, you'll like it, but otherwise you probably won't. 7/10
#24. "Decode" by Paramore
Like The Killers, Paramore are a band I wish I was more familiar with. Not only am I massive fans of similar bands like Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco, but I also adore frontwoman Hayley Williams's voice. Seriously, she is AMAZING, and despite the fact that I've only heard a few songs she's on, I'd still probably put her on a list of my favorite vocalists. "Decode" was actually written for the Twilight soundtrack, and it is easily the best Twilight-related thing I've ever encountered. I'm not huge on Twilight, but this song is incredible. Hayley Williams sounds like a freaking angel, especially on that hook. She just belts it out so emotionally and I get chills. The lyrics are about emotional tension in a relationship, and I'm not sure how well they relate to the book because I haven't bothered to read it but they're really well-written. The instrumentation is also really good, chilling even. It matches Hayley's intensity in her voice perfectly. To wrap this up, I'll just say #StellarListenToMoreParamore2018. 9/10
#25. "Got Money" by Lil Wayne ft. T-Pain
This was a top ten hit by two of the biggest names of the era, so how have I never heard of this song? Going into it, I expected a metric ton of autotune because it's Lil Wayne and T-Pain, and that's exactly what I got. I definitely prefer this one to "Lollipop" because it's more of a banger. It sort of reminds me of "All I Do Is Win" by DJ Khaled, another song with T-Pain on the hook. I love that song, so that's definitely a compliment in my book. Lil Wayne's voice is still annoying, but he has some pretty okay bars here. Except for the part where he says something about how girls want to rape him, which...yeah, no me gusta. T-Pain's chorus. T-Pain's chorus is catchy and the beat is pretty good. I guess this song is alright, but I'm not going to excuse the rape line. 6.5/10
#26. "Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry
Screw "I Kissed A Girl", this is the Katy Perry I love. This is a song about a boyfriend who can't make up his mind, and although a first grader could probably write this chorus, it's still so much fun to sing along to. Katy sounds kinda terrible but she sounds like she's having a blast, which is all I'm asking for. The hook is infectious and pop in the best way, and the production is poppy with a hint of rock. This song is just so cheesy and happy-sounding and it just makes you smile. When Katy is good, she's really good at making pop songs, and this is one of her best. Just ignore the fact that it was produced by Literal Actual Piece of Trash Dr. Luke and blast it. 9.5/10
#27. "Womanizer" by Britney Spears
So...two years ago I went through my emo phase, and my favorite band during that time was Fall Out Boy. (Side note, I'm going to rank all of Fall Out Boy's singles from worst to best in a few weeks, so tune in for that :D) This phase mainly consisted of me going on YouTube for hours and watching every Fall Out Boy-related video I could get my hands on, and as a result, I found a video of Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz singing "Womanizer" by Britney Spears in a bathroom with Ellen DeGeneres. Seeing as I loved both FOB and Ellen, I watched this video so many times, and I've never been able to listen to the song the same way since I found it. The song itself is actually one I find pretty annoying. Britney gives one of her most grating performances, especially when she goes for the low notes in the verses. The lyrics are also very repetitive and the beat and melody are obnoxious. But still, I can't get too mad at it because of the Fall Out Boy video. Emo Stellar will never die. 5/10
#28. "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield
This is quite possibly the catchiest, most feel-good pop song of all time. If you can't listen to this song without smiling, you might actually be a robot. Just sayin'. The only other song I know from Natasha Bedingfield is "Unwritten" (which I prefer, to be honest), but I sort of get the vibe that every song she makes is just pure joy. She sounds so unbelievably happy on this song, and I just want to smile and sing along as I listen. This song is pretty repetitive, but that actually helps it in my opinion because that makes it easier to learn the words and sing along to. There are two main hooks in this song, the "I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine" and the "take me away, take me away" and both are so much fun to sing. This is just a cute and immensely likable little pop song. 9/10
#29. "So What" by Pink
Hey, I talked about this one last week! And multiple times prior to that! So yeah, I don't have much to really say about it other than just saying it's awesome. It's the perfect mix of pop with a rock edge, and it's super-catchy. Pink is being Pink here, sounding like she doesn't give a single f**k and being totally empowered and awesome. Self-empowerment songs can be hit-or-miss for me, but Pink has such a great personality that this is easily a hit in my eyes. Plus my marching band played it in our homecoming halftime show this year, so that just makes me love it even more. It's a killer pop-rock song, not much else to add here. 10/10
#30. "That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings
Here's another song I know solely from Just Dance. Man, those games have done wonders for my musical knowledge. Last week I talked about "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne, and honestly quite a bit of what I said about that song also applies to this one. This song is basically a cheerleader chant from its marching band-esque beat to its vocal delivery, and it's very catchy, but it's also really annoying. Something about the way this girl sings makes me want to punch a wall. To be fair, the lyrical message of "That's Not My Name" is a lot better than that of "Girlfriend", because the former is about feeling invisible (something I feel more often than not) and the latter is about stealing somebody's boyfriend. But a relatable topic doesn't take away from how obnoxious I find this song. 4.5/10
#31. "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga
Hello, song I talked about last week! Although I prefer "Just Dance", "Poker Face" is definitely the more iconic song of the two. If I were to pick Gaga's signature song, I'd pick this or "Bad Romance". This one has everything that made early Gaga stand out: great techno production, quirky lyrics, nonsensical hooks ("pa-pa-pa-poker-face, pa-pa-poker-face, ma-ma-ma-ma"), catchy melodies in every part of the song, and a great performance from Gaga. Gaga is an amazing vocalist who doesn't need autotune, but it's used entirely as an effect here and it sounds really cool. While "Just Dance" was a great introduction, it was "Poker Face" that really showed the public that Lady Gaga was a new cultural icon and she was here to stay, whether you like her or not. And she's still kicking a decade later! Also, at some point, I may post the lyrics to that Romeo and Juliet parody of this song I wrote last year, just on the condition that nobody who is in that class is allowed to plagiarize it. 9.5/10
#32. "Gives You Hell" by The All-American Rejects
I used to hear this song in first and second grade. The thing I remember about it is that my naive little self thought they were saying "get you how", which makes no sense. Then I remember this one girl playing it on the bus and saying, "I sing it as 'Gives you well'", and then it started to make sense to me. This is one of the best examples of Fetus Stellar being so naive (another example is how I thought Hell's Kitchen was called Hal's Kitchen and Gordon Ramsay's name was Hal). "Gives You Hell" is one of the most bitter, petty songs ever written. And that's saying something because pop-punk (which this song is-emphasis on the pop, though, because this song is catchy as hell. No pun intended) is, from the little of it that I've heard, a very pissy genre. It's basically this guy ranting about this girl he dated and how he hopes she goes to hell. I like the part at the end where they get meta and change the lyrics to "When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell". It's sort of annoying, but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a bitter, spiteful little part of me who enjoys the pettiness of this song. It's sort of like the pop-punk version of "I Don't F**k With You" by Big Sean, and although it's not as fun to scream as that song, it still is pretty fun. 7/10

So now that we've listened to 32 of the biggest hits from the year, I would say that 2008 was a pretty good year for music. Not every song is a 10/10 and there were some pretty bad songs, but there were even more good songs. And even more noteworthy is that the good stuff is insanely good. Songs like "Viva La Vida" and "Just Dance" are some of my all-time favorites, and it felt like I gave a lot of 8's, 9's, and 10's, at least more than I usually do. I added my scores for every song together and found that the average of these songs is a 7.3/10, which is a very good score. Overall, this was fun, and I hope to do this again with another year in music. I'm Stellar in Neverland, and I'll see you next week. Peace!

Stellar

2000s Pop Songs vs. 2010s Pop Songs

Hi, I'm Stellar, and I have an unhealthy addiction to watching stupid music-related videos on YouTube. Case in point- the trilogy of posts I made where I listen to songs I've supposedly heard but don't know the name of (most of which I've never heard, period). That trilogy was inspired by some videos you can find the links for in the posts themselves. Today's stupid music-related video inspiration for a post? 2000's Pop VS 2010's Pop, uploaded by the channel ESC MKD. The concept for this post is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. The video will show a popular song from the 2000s and a popular song from the 2010s. I will briefly talk about each song and state which one I prefer. This is NOT based off of success or impact or anything other than my personal opinion. This is based off of how I, Stellar in Neverland, feel about each song. At the end, I'll give a few bonus points for whatever categories I choose and tally up the points to see which decade is better: the 2000s or the 2010s. This might be a new series, comparing songs like this but it depends on if I find any similar videos to use for inspiration. So with that, let's get started.

Round One: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga (2000s) vs. "Havana" by Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug (2010s)
I know I've praised it a lot in previous posts, but as time has gone on, I've realized that "Havana" is quite possibly THE MOST OVERRATED SONG OF ALL TIME. Okay, maybe that's a stretch, because it is still a pretty solid track. But I've seen a lot of people who act like it is the greatest, most catchy, original, and amazing song to ever exist when it really isn't. It's an 8/10, not a 382098492834098/10. I'm sick of hearing it in stupid music-related videos and I'm sick of them putting Camila on the thumbnail as a crappy excuse for clickbait. And while we're on the topic of Camila, I feel like she herself is incredibly overrated. Yes, she has one good song, but that doesn't mean she's the new queen of pop. She's only on her first album, she's got a long way to go before she's even on the level of Ariana Grande or Demi Lovato. Her other songs are mediocre and her voice is freaking unbearable on every other song I've heard her on, especially that "Never Be The Same" song she has out right now. And wow I'm getting off-topic, but I needed to get that out of my system. In addition to my opinion that it's overrated, another thing that hurts "Havana" in this battle is the fact that it's going against one of my favorite Gaga songs. Who doesn't know "Poker Face"? It's a modern classic, instantly memorable and honestly pretty groundbreaking. Like Camila, Gaga was hyped very early on in her career, but I think in the long run she's proven to be worth the hype and is one of the legends of my generation. Plus I wrote a Romeo and Juliet themed parody of "Poker Face" for my English class last year, and I'm actually kind of proud of it, so yeah the winner is clear for me.
Winner: "Poker Face" (2000s)

Round Two: "Toxic" by Britney Spears (2000s) vs. "No Tears Left to Cry" by Ariana Grande (2010s)
This is gonna sound odd, considering that I love Ariana to death and wrote a very positive review of this very song just last week. "No Tears Left to Cry" is great. But it just came out last week. It's not fair to compare a song that just came out to a song that is widely viewed as one of the biggest classics of the 2000s-and one of my personal favorite songs of all time. "Toxic" is timeless. The production is brilliant, even if the main riff is sampled from some Bollywood song I had never heard of until I saw a video about it. A few elements might be a little dated such as the autotune-y breakdown, but it was groundbreaking for the time. The melody is unique and catchy. The lyrics in this song have a good balance of being sexy but not too explicit, and there are actually some well-written lines here and there. Britney’s voice isn’t great, but she’s able to give a really good performance. A song like this calls for a breathy, seductive vocal tone and her limited vocal range is able to pull it off perfectly. This is a song I would describe as an “instant classic”. It’s deservedly one of Britney’s most well-known songs, as it’s easily the best thing I’ve heard from her. Is "No Tears Left to Cry" still a great song? Yes, of course, but it can't compare to a classic like "Toxic". (But if we switch "No Tears Left to Cry" for "Into You", that's another story.)
Winner: "Toxic" (2000s)

Round Three: "Jenny From The Block" by Jennifer Lopez (2000s) vs. "More Than You Know" by Axwell Ingrosso (2010s)
Okay now. Here we have a song I've heard in snippets but never actually heard in its entirety (wow, I live a sheltered life) going against a song I've straight-up never heard of. "Jenny From The Block" definitely sounds like your standard early 2000s song. The beat's pretty slick with some cool flute elements and even a complete switch-up in the song's latter half. The chorus is obviously iconic, where even people who have never heard the song in its entirety can sing it word for word. Jennifer Lopez isn't a particularly noteworthy singer, but she sounds pretty good here, and the message of how she's not changing despite her fame is admirable. In contrast, "More Than You Know" is a standard current EDM song. It's a song where the beat is most important thing, and it is a pretty great beat. I like the guitar in the intro and outro, the aggressive bass in the verses and the horns in the drop. I'm not sure who the singer is, but his voice is pretty good. There's one part where it has the normal vocals layered with a vocoder and it sounds really awesome. I like both of these songs more than I was probably expecting to, but I'll give the edge to "More Than You Know" because I prefer its style.
Winner: "More Than You Know" (2010s)

Round Four: "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake (2000s) vs. "I'm The One" by DJ Khaled ft. Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper, and Lil Wayne (2010s)
Battle of the Justins! In one corner, you have "SexyBack", which is a weird song. It's a lot more experimental than you'd expect from a pop song, and for the time, the overuse of autotune was somewhat groundbreaking. JT's vocals are entirely processed and he doesn't even really sing, it's more of a talk-singing thing. It's definitely a song that can take some getting used to, but I kinda like it. It's not my favorite song ever, and it's more of a guilty pleasure than anything. I like the interjections from the song's producer Timbaland, as well as the part with the funky guitar towards the end. It's interesting, which is something I can't really say about "I'm The One". "I'm The One" is a fine song, but it's nothing notable. The most interesting thing about it is the list of guests, which meant it was pretty much guaranteed to go #1. You have Bieber, who in recent years has made his name as a go-to featured vocalist for EDM-pop, Quavo, who has been huge as of late both on his own and with Migos, Chance the Rapper, who's an up-and-coming-ish Grammys favorite, and Lil Wayne, who is one of the biggest rappers of the millenium. Plus you have DJ Khaled doing his standard "ANOTHA ONE!" "WE THE BEST MUSIC!" shtick. What this battle comes down to is whether you prefer an experimental-but-hard-to-get-into song or a safe-but-not-really-bad one. Honestly I think I'm gonna give the point to Khaled and Friends, because relistening to this song now I realize that I actually really like Bieber's hook.
Winner: "I'm The One" (2010s)

Round Five: "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce ft. Jay Z (2000s) vs. "Wolves" by Selena Gomez and Marshmello (2010s)
Come on. This isn't even fair. To even suggest that Selena Gomez, who can barely hold a note without the help of pitch correction and is a mediocre performer, is at all in the same league as Beyonce is blasphemous. I'm not even one of those psychotic stans who believes Beyonce is the second coming of Jesus Christ or whatever. I'm just a normal, smart person who knows talent when she sees it. Beyonce is the total package. She's the best performer currently working, able to sing and dance better than all of her contemporaries and able to define pop culture with everything she does. She's an icon and Selena just can't compare. But we're not talking about who's overall better as an artist or vocalist. We're just comparing these two songs. And even then it isn't fair. "Wolves" is not a memorable song. It's generic EDM-pop that blends in with everything else on the radio. "Crazy in Love" is the opposite of that. Between the iconic horn line that was made to be strutted to, Bey's fierce vocals, the ultra-catchy "uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh-no-no"'s, and the chemistry between future power couple Jay and Bey, "Crazy in Love" is a song that demands you listen to it. And I'm glad to, because it's probably my favorite Beyonce song and one of the best debut singles from an artist ever.
Winner: "Crazy in Love" (2000s)

Round Six: "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry (2000s) vs. "Look What You Made Me Do" by Taylor Swift (2010s)
I bet the idea of putting a Katy Perry song against a Taylor Swift song was completely intentional, and we all know why. I'd say I overall prefer Katy. Yes, she has her bad songs (especially in her later career) and her personality can be extremely cringeworthy. Plus she's one of the most problematic figures in music. But when Katy's at her best, she's responsible for some of my favorite pop songs. Taylor, on the other hand, is a good writer technically and a great businesswoman, but she comes off as fake, her good songs aren't as good as Katy's good songs, and her bad songs are unbearable. I talked about "Look What You Made Me Do"in my Reputation review, so go read that if you want the full details. But long story short, I think "Look What You Made Me Do" is worse than any Katy Perry song. It's lazy, badly written, annoying, overindulgent, and exists solely to cause drama. "I Kissed A Girl", on the other hand, is a song that aged pretty poorly and is a good example of Katy being problematic. On first glance, it looks like it's showing some much-needed LGBTQ+ positivity, but then you realize the narrator is just making out with a girl because she's drunk and bored. It's obnoxious and really problematic, but hey, it's catchy and sounds pretty good. At the very least, the rock instrumentation is better than...whatever "Look What You Made Me Do" is. Am I biased? Yeah, probably. But Katy wins this, even though her song here isn't good.
Winner: "I Kissed A Girl" (2000s)

Round Seven: "Beautiful Day" by U2 (2000s) vs. "Perfect Strangers" by Jonas Blue (2010s)
I will always associate the song "Beautiful Day" with the movie Nim's Island, because it's the song that plays in the credits. Nim's Island was one of my favorites as a kid, and it's where I first heard the song. I know a few U2 songs from my mom, and while it's not my favorite song I've heard from them (that honor goes to "Where The Streets Have No Name" or "With or Without You", in case you were wondering), it's still a pretty nice song. It's one of those songs that just makes you happy to be alive whenever you hear it. It's going up against a song I've maybe heard in small parts, but never in its entirety. It's the kind of tropical-inspired EDM that's been huge in the past few years, and despite the fact that it's a very recent trend and genre, the song feels really nostalgic to me. I have no idea why, but the melody of the prechorus and chorus itself just remind me of something I would hear as a kid. I really love the chorus, especially with the repeated "come on, come on, come over"'s and especially those deep, brassy horns. I'm going to call this battle the "Nostalgia Battle", because on one hand we have a song that gives me legitimate nostalgia, and on the other we have a song that gives me unexplainable nostalgia because I've never heard it before. And surprisingly enough, I think I'm going to go with unexplainable nostalgia on this one, even though both songs are really good.
Winner: "Perfect Strangers" (2010s)

Round Eight: "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls ft. Snoop Dogg (2000s) vs. "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign (2010s)
"Buttons" is one of those songs that I've heard parts of in various places, but never really cared about enough to look up in its entirety. And listening to it in its entirety...is it bad that this makes me a little uncomfortable? It's one of those songs that tries way too hard to be sexy, sounds really dated, and isn't all that catchy or memorable. None of the girls sound that good, and the Christina Aguilera-esque vocal runs at the end are trying too hard. Snoop Dogg doesn't really add much either and mostly just makes a bunch of lame cat/dog puns. It actually makes sense that the video pairs "Buttons" against "Work From Home" because a lot of what I said about "Buttons" applies to "Work From Home" too. I mean, they're both songs by girl groups that try too hard to be sexy, have filler rap verses, and bad vocal acrobatics at the end- thanks for that, Camila. There are some differences, though, mainly that "Work From Home" is mindlessly repetitive and catchy because of that. Maybe it's just that I've heard "Work From Home" so many times (seriously, this song was EVERYWHERE in 2016) and am therefore more familiar with it, but I guess I'll give it the edge, even though I'm not much of a fan.
Winner: "Work From Home" (2010s)

Round Nine: "Hung Up" by Madonna (2000s) vs. "Anywhere" by Rita Ora (2010s)
Considering Madonna is essentially the biggest pop star of all time and I'm something of a pop music nerd, it's kind of a shame that I'm not very familiar with her work. Like, I know a bunch of her songs, including "Hung Up", but I've never listened to most of them in their entirety. The most prominent thing about "Hung Up" is its sample of "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)" by ABBA, a song I only know from Just Dance 2014, tbh. I really like what they do with the sample, giving it a modern dance update. The melodies are really good and unique. Despite being over five minutes long and being quite repetitive, it doesn't outstay its welcome and is overall a really solid dance track. It's going up against "Anywhere" by Rita Ora, a song I haven't heard. I used to have this weird bias against Rita Ora, but then I realized there's nothing really wrong with her and I was dumb. "Anywhere" is by far the best song I've heard from her, being unique yet familiar. The lyrics are about wanting to get away with your lover and the dreamy sound of the song fits the wistful mood perfectly. The post-chorus is made up of chopped up vocal loops and it's an inventive and quirky sound that makes me smile. Rita also gives a really strong and expressive vocal performance. Both songs in this matchup are strong dance-pop songs, but I'm going to give the edge to Rita. I just feel like her song is more creative, even though Madonna's is great too.
Winner: "Anywhere" (2010s)

Round Ten: "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay (2000s) vs. "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction (2010s)
I love "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction. In my mind, it's one of the most wonderfully cheesy songs ever written. Everything about it is innocent bubblegum teen-pop perfection. But really, this isn't even a contest for me. "Viva la Vida", despite not being my absolute favorite Coldplay song, is still one of my favorite songs of all-time. It is a sheer masterpiece. It has a memorable and gorgeous string riff that takes my breath away, introspective lyrics about a king's fall from grace, an iconic and melodically wonderful chorus, and even a solemnly beautiful outro. The entire song feels larger-than-life and completely epic. I was obsessed with the song three years ago, even making an absolutely horrid cover of it that I sent to my friends and would prefer not to share here. And three years later, that love still stands. This is probably the battle in here with the most obvious winner for me, even though I still love One Direction.
Winner: "Viva La Vida (2000s)

Round Eleven: "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey (2000s) vs. "The Way I Are" by Bebe Rexha ft. Lil Wayne (2010s)
According to Wikipedia, Billboard named "We Belong Together" the song of the 2000s decade and topped the charts for an insane 14 weeks. So how have I never heard this song in its entirety? I guess it's decent enough, but its wild success feels weird to me. This doesn't sound like a chart behemoth, it sounds like a song that tops the charts for like, two or three weeks and then fades away. It has a weird, intricate melody in the verses and more of a slow-burning feel to it than a massive chart-topping earworm. It's still pretty good, mainly because of Mariah's vocals. I don't even know that many of her songs, but I can say it's probably justified to call Mariah one of the greatest vocalists of all time. The one long note she belts at the end is really impressive. In comparison, "The Way I Are" (despite the stupid title...seriously, why did they think the bad grammar was a good idea?) is a lot more fun and feels more like a typical chart-topper, even though it didn't even chart on the Billboard Hot 100. It's a lot more generic, though, with generic lyrics about dancing and a repetitive chorus. It goes in one ear, stays in your head for a little bit, and then goes out the other. Despite being a ballad, I would say "We Belong Together" is more memorable, so it gets the point.
Winner: "We Belong Together" (2000s)

Round Twelve: "Yeah!" by Usher ft. Lil Jon and Ludacris (2000s) vs. "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" by Shawn Mendes (2010s)
Another obvious victory is obvious. Back in October when I talked about my homecoming experience, I stated that "Yeah!" was a school dance staple. However, I don't think that sums up just how much of a banger it is. If you actually look at the lyrics, "Yeah!" is about the wonderful topic of cheating on your girlfriend with one of her friends. However, the beat is so hypnotic and Usher's vocals are so smooth that you have no choice but to ignore that. Lil Jon's ad-libs are wonderful and Ludacris's rap has so many quotable lines. This is a song that gets everyone to the dance floor instantly and if you hate it, you also hate fun. "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" is also a good song, probably Shawn's best. It perfectly captures the feeling of young love and the melodies are fantastic. I was obsessed with it last summer. However, it's just not as good as "Yeah!". But to be fair, very few things are. Peace up, A-Town down.
Winner: "Yeah!" (2000s)

Round Thirteen: "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira (2000s) vs. "New Rules" by Dua Lipa (2010s)
To be honest, I'm probably more familiar with the Spanish version of "Whenever, Wherever" because I know I've heard it in my Spanish class. However, the English version is equally as good. The production is top-notch, with a great Spanish-rock vibe and even some cool pan-flutes. Shakira brings a quirkiness in both her unique vocals and lyrics ("Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains" is such an odd lyric you can't help but love it). Plus the song is ungodly-catchy, with a really well-written chorus and instantly memorable "le-lo-lo-le-lo-le"'s. Then we have "New Rules", which...honestly, a lot of what I said about "Havana" applies to "New Rules", albeit not as severely. I do think this song has become pretty overrated over time and I'm sick of seeing Dua on the thumbnail of every pop music-related video as an excuse for clickbait. That being said, I also still really like "New Rules" and Dua herself. I love how confident and empowered she sounds on this song, and her husky vocal tone makes her stand out. I also really like the overall message of this song, where she's actually showing maturity by not getting back together with the scumbag who broke her heart. Plus the music video is really fantastic and creative and deserves its immense recognition. Honestly, I think I'm gonna call this round a tie because both songs are equally great in my opinion. Here's my "new rule" which will apply if I make this a series: I'm allowed one tie per post, and each competing "team" (in this case decades) will get one point.
Winner: "Whenever, Wherever" (2000s) AND "New Rules" (2010s)

Round Fourteen: "Umbrella" by Rihanna ft. Jay Z (2000s) vs. "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen (2010s)
"Umbrella" was a game-changer for Rihanna, completely elevating her career from just another generic pop girl to a powerhouse of the industry. And her star just keeps on growing even a decade later, as she's one of the most famous people on the planet. "Umbrella" is another classic 2000s pop song that sounds timeless. It has a fantastic melodic composition with a really catchy and memorable chorus. Rihanna gives one of her best vocal performances to date and sounds smooth and sincere, especially on that bridge, which is my favorite part of the song. Jay Z's intro is a little unnecessary, but he does give the song an aura of coolness and swagger that adds to it. Meanwhile, "Call Me Maybe" is a song I honestly find really mediocre. Yes, it's catchy, but it's not really interesting or creative. It's just a shallow bubblegum pop song you can get from any pop star. Okay, I'm probably just salty because Carly Rae Jepsen has made some fantastic music (I'm still obsessed with "Cut to the Feeling", by the way) and sucks that she's always going to be remembered for this mediocre song instead of something like "Cut to the Feeling". But I digress. Either way, "Umbrella" still wins.
Winner: "Umbrella" (2000s)

Round Fifteen: "Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Mya, and Pink (2000s) vs. "Closer" by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey (2010s)
I'm not sure why these two songs are going against each other, since they're nothing alike. Wouldn't the 2010s equivalent of "Lady Marmalade" be "Bang Bang" by Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj? I mean, both songs have an all-star of powerhouse female artists who get to show off in their own respective ways. Despite my status as an Ariana stan, I actually think I prefer "Lady Marmalade", because, to be honest, I've never really liked "Bang Bang". All four of the performers kill it on this fantastic retro-inspired production, and it's maybe the only time in existence where Christina Aguilera's signature "HEYOHWHOAYEAHYEAHOHYEAHOOOH"-ing doesn't feel grating. Christina, Pink, and Mya all get to show off (although none as much as Christina, obviously), and they all sound awesome. Lil Kim's rap verse is also really confident and empowering, and it's all based around a super-catchy and memorable chorus, even though the chorus is nonsense. On the other hand, neither of the people singing on "Closer" are really that good. For whatever reason I like Halsey, it's not because of her voice, and the Chainsmoker dude straight-up can't sing. However, "Closer" is one of the biggest instant-classics of this generation. Everything about it is iconic, from the opening "hey" to the sing-along-worthy chorus to the simple drop which is literally three notes, maybe even less. The Chainsmokers are kind of scumbags, but they made a really good pop song here. It's not my favorite song ever or anything, but just like, as a pop song, it succeeds immensely. This battle is actually "closer" (I hate myself) than I expected, but I'm gonna give it to "Lady Marmalade" because I just like how fierce it is, honestly. And wow, I wrote a lot about these two songs.
Winner: "Lady Marmalade" (2000s)

Round Sixteen: "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne (2000s) vs. "Starving" by Hailee Steinfeld and Grey ft. Zedd (2010s)
Um...I don't really like either of these songs. On one hand, you have "Girlfriend", which is nauseatingly catchy but also very annoying. It's also about a cliche in music that needs to die: "Dump your current girlfriend/boyfriend and get with me because I'm way better than they are!" Avril just sounds bratty and like the vapid popular girl in your cliche bad teen movie. Meanwhile, "Starving" is really close to being a good, if not a little generic, song. Yeah, the lyrics are pretty dumb, but I like the melodies a lot and Hailee's a pretty good singer. But then we get to the drop, which is really annoying and terrible. Zedd's normally one of the better EDM producers with quite a few songs I like, such as "Clarity" and "Stay", but I don't like the drop on this song at all and I have no idea what happened. I guess I'll give the edge to "Starving" because its lyrics don't make Hailee sound like a brat, but it's still not very good.
Winner: "Starving" (2010s)

Round Seventeen: "So What" by Pink (2000s) vs. "That's What I Like" by Bruno Mars (2010s)
And we end with another weird comparison (how are Pink and Bruno similar?) that results in another obvious victory, at least for me. I've actually talked about "So What" before on here, mainly in the 30-Day Music Challenge, but in a few other places as well. It's my favorite Pink song because of how bada** and awesome it is, while also having an emotional core. It's how I imagine myself acting after a breakup, being mostly like "I'm so much better without you!" but also admitting the sadness and disappointment with how they treated you. Plus it just sounds awesome. On the other hand, I was obsessed with "That's What I Like" around this time last year, but it shrunk on me over time. With its 90s R&B-inspired production, soulful vocals, and sweet lyrics, it's a good song, but Bruno's done way better songs like it. "That's What I Like" is basically just a weaker version of "Treasure", with both songs being retro-inspired jams with sweet lyrics. Plus "Versace on the Floor", the follow-up single, is also a better version of this song even though it's more sexual. To cap things off, Pink wins this one easily.
Winner: "So What" (2000s)

Now that we're done with all the faceoffs, let's do the Bonus Rounds. Well, these aren't really rounds, they're just bonus points. The four "awards" for this are the "This Is My Favorite Song In This Entire Post" Award, the "This Is My Least Favorite Song In This Entire Post" Award, the "I've Never Heard This Song Before But I'm Going To Add It To All Of My Playlists" Award, and the "This Song Should Have Won But I Prefer The Other Song A Tiny Bit More" Award. Obviously, Fall Out Boy inspired the award names, or at least the lengths of them.

This Is My Favorite Song In This Entire Post: This one's going to Coldplay. "Viva La Vida" is just the best, man. "Yeah!" is a very close second, though. +1 point for the 2000s.
This Is My Least Favorite Song In This Entire Post: "Look What You Made Me Do", obviously. I don't love every song here, but nothing can compare to this one in sheer horribleness. +1 point (or should it be -1?) for the 2010s. 
I've Never Heard This Song But I'm Going To Add It To All Of My Playlists: I can't decide between "Perfect Strangers" or "Anywhere", but either way, +1 point for the 2010s.
This Song Should Have Won But I Prefer The Other Song A Tiny Bit More: Even though I said this matchup was really obvious, I'm going to give the point to "What Makes You Beautiful". Yeah, it's nowhere near as good as "Viva La Vida", but it's still wonderful. +1 point for the 2010s.

Overall Scores:
2000s: 12 points
2010s: 10 points
WINNER: 2000s

I don't actually know enough about 2000s music to say which decade is genuinely better, but based on the songs in this selection, I say it's the better decade. As for my next post, after months of waiting, I think it's FINALLY going to be The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland #3. It will be up next Wednesday. I'm Stellar in Neverland, and I'll see you then. Peace!

Stellar

Song Review- No Tears Left To Cry by Ariana Grande

Hi, I'm Stellar, and welcome to Stellar in Neverland, where we talk about Ariana Grande too much. Once again I'd like to apologize for posting this about three weeks late (I explained why in that last post), and I'd like to begin with a new apology. I'm sorry if you're sick of me talking about Ariana Grande, but I'm not going to stop anytime soon. Today, we're going to look at her new comeback single "No Tears Left To Cry" since because I've been highly anticipating it for a while now and I had immensely high expectations. But first, some background information.

I've been a huge fan of Ariana since she got her start on Nickelodeon's Victorious. On that show, she played Cat, who was my favorite character (even though I've begun to realize that Cat is pretty annoying as I've gotten older), so I mostly started liking her for that. After Victorious ended, she followed in the footsteps of her contemporaries like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez and began releasing music. I started really becoming a fan of hers due to her music. She has easily one of the best voices in music today, so much so that she's gotten compared to some of the all-time greats like Mariah Carey. Whether you think those comparisons are accurate is another story, but I think the fact that she's even suggested to be in the same league as legends like that really says a lot about how talented she is. But not only does she have the top-notch pipes, she has the tunes to back her up. For comparison, let's look at one of Ariana's closest competitors (although I'm pretty sure they're actually really good friends), Demi Lovato. When I talked about Demi in my Top 10 Favorite Celebrities post, you'll notice that I didn't really talk about her music that much and mostly talked about her personality and vocal talent. That's because, with the exception of a few songs like "Cool For The Summer" and "Heart Attack", I don't actually think her music is anything special. She's obviously got an amazing voice, but she doesn't have the right material to put it to use. That's what distinguishes Ariana from her equally vocally talented peers for me. Good singing can only get you so far, you need to have amazing songs as well. And Ariana is one of the most consistently great pop artists of this generation. I can count on one hand the number of songs I don't like from her, and when she's at her best, she is responsible for some of my all-time favorite songs. "Into You" is quite possibly the most euphoric and perfect pop song I've ever heard, "Greedy" is a funky little throwback-inspired pop song that should've been a world-conquering smash hit single (emphasis on "single" because it wasn't one), and "Be My Baby" is an EDM-inspired midtempo track with big synths and even bigger vocals.

I bring up those three songs in particular, because I've stated in numerous places that I love all three of those songs an insane amount and I think it's these three songs that kind of ruined "No Tears Left To Cry" for me at first. I can't emphasize this enough: my expectations for "No Tears Left To Cry" were ungodly high to the point where it almost hurt the song. I was expecting the Pop Song of the Century, something even better than "Into You", which is no easy feat. Anything less than that would be viewed as a disappointment in my mind. And upon first listen, "No Tears Left To Cry" was not as good as I expected. However, I figured it would grow on me over time and it only took a few listens to do so.

For those who are living under a rock: On May 22, 2017, a bomb was set off after Ariana's Dangerous Woman Tour show at the Manchester Arena in Manchester, England. 23 innocent concert-goers lost their lives (with the youngest casualty being merely eight years old) and over 500 were injured in the terrorist attack. Ariana was stuck in the middle of a huge tragedy like this, and she felt a huge amount of guilt after the events. She did everything she could to try to make things better, paying for the funerals of those who died, visiting the injured in the hospital, and most remarkably, organizing the immensely successful One Love Manchester benefit concert in a very short amount of time. With the tragedy being such a big story and one that affects Ariana directly, it was pretty much expected that the next song she'd release would address the incident in some way. And similar to "Praying" by Kesha from last year, Ari's outlook on her tragedy is quite possibly the best and most mature one she could have.

A few days before the single came out, she held a listening party for fans in London. The Blast reported that people who were at the listening party were so moved by the song's lyrics that they cried hysterically. With lyrics like "I'm pickin' it up, pickin' it up, lovin', I'm livin', so we turnin' up" and "We're way too fly to partake in all this hate, we out here vibin', we vibin', we vibin'", I can say that they were really stretching with that. However, what "No Tears Left To Cry" as a whole represents for Ariana is something I have nothing but respect for. This is a song about a woman who has overcome some truly horrible events, but she's done being sad and overcome the pain. She is an empowered woman, one that came out of a tragedy very few people could imagine and is stronger than ever. The song in a word? Uplifting.

The underlying message of the song is very powerful, but I'm typically a person who cares more about vocals, production, and melodies than one who cares about messages and lyrics. How is the song in those aspects? Well, this song doesn't compare to Ariana's previous best songs, but it still is really good. Ariana teased a snippet of the song the Wednesday before it came out, and my mind was pretty much blown from that. From that, I expected the song to be a gospel-esque number akin to "Pendulum" by Katy Perry (one of the few good songs from that album). That snippet was of the intro, which starts out slow with Ariana providing soulful vocals. After that, it speeds up and transitions into an R&B inspired bop, for lack of a better term. She starts sing-rapping, and the rapid switch-up really caught me off-guard. I wasn't huge on the sing-rapping at first, but it grew on me because it's just so catchy! In fact, this entire song has been looping in my head ever since I first heard it. Ariana and her producers know how to write a catchy pop song, and the hooks on this one are undeniable.

With this song, Ariana worked with the legendary producer Max Martin, who has produced iconic singles like "Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears, "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys, "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson, and "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry. He's also responsible for some of Ariana's biggest hits like "Problem", "Side To Side", and "Into You". Because of the latter song especially, I was glad to see Ariana work with him again. The production on this song is excellent. Its sound is distinctive yet it doesn't sound out of place with other current pop songs. It has sort of a 90's-house meets R&B meets pop vibe, with hints of the gospel elements in the backing vocals. It matches the optimism and joy of the lyrics perfectly and fits the vibe they tried to go for perfectly.

Of course, the one last big element we have to talk about, since it's what Ariana's known for, is the vocals. I'm not sure if I'd say this is her absolute best vocal performance ever, and although it's grown on me, I still don't think the sing-rapping is the best choice for Ariana's tone. But still, it's Ariana Grande. She's incapable of having a truly terrible vocal performance. She sounds confident and jovial and she really shows the emotions needed for the song. The backing vocals and harmonies are great as always, and the parts where she gets to really belt at the end is glorious. Ariana's voice is a national treasure, and just listening to her voice can put a smile on my face no matter what she's singing.

Overall, I would give "No Tears Left To Cry" a 9/10. It's not one of my absolute favorite Ariana Grande songs, but it's the kind of song I need at this point in my life, and it's the single she needed to come back with. I know it will grow on me even more in the future, maybe even to the point where I like it as much as "Into You" or "Be My Baby". How does it compare to her other lead singles? Well, I would still say I prefer "The Way" from her debut Yours Truly, but I like "No Tears Left To Cry" more than both "Problem" from My Everything and "Dangerous Woman" from the album of the same name. If this is the direction Ariana's going in for AG4, then it will probably be her best album to date. I'm not going to review any of the other songs leading up to the release of the album, but I will totally be reviewing the album itself when it comes out. I'm sorry if this post was kind of over the place and overly passionate, but I couldn't contain my excitement. I have no idea what my next post will be, or when The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland #3 will come out, but I should be back next Wednesday. I'm Stellar in Neverland, and I'll see you then. Peace!

Stellar

I’m Sorry

The title says it all, but I’m gonna put a bitmoji here as well to really show how sorry I am. Except for the fact that I’m on my phone and can’t add a picture because it’s too complicated. So no bitmoji to really go the extra mile, but I am sorry I haven’t posted for the past two weeks. I was stuck at home all last week with nausea and vomiting (name a more iconic duo, I’ll wait). I’ve been fine since Sunday, but I’ve been using the past couple of days to make up schoolwork. I should be back and posting next week, but it won’t be the third installment of The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland I’ve been promising for a while now. Next week, I’m going to try individual song reviewing (as opposed to reviewing a whole album) with a review of “No Tears Left To Cry”, Ariana Grande’s comeback single which is set to be released this coming Friday. If you know me, this shouldn’t surprise you at all. I’ve been insanely hyped for Ariana to make her comeback and it’s literally all I’ve thought about since she announced the rumors of her comeback were true a few days ago. When the album inevitably comes out, I am absolutely reviewing it, but my excitement levels for this new single are so high I can’t wait to talk about the single for that long. I’m Stellar in Neverland and I’ll see you then. Peace!

Stellar