Showing posts with label ranking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ranking. Show all posts

Saturday, February 15, 2020

Ranking the Baby Pokemon

Today, we're introducing a new segment on my blog that I like to call Stellar Gets Nerdy. There really isn't much to this segment that you can't already tell from the title: I, Stellar, will be talking about things that can reasonably be called "nerdy". Think of it as like the "Fandom Friday" segments from The Brick Wall, my old blog. Most of that was dedicated to me and my friends being cringy middle schoolers and gushing about how obsessed we were with Harry Potter and The Hunger Games. Here is where I'm going to talk about books, movies, maybe some TV, and especially relevant for today, video games.

I'm not much of a gamer, and for the most part, my gaming knowledge is pretty much limited to Mario Kart and Just Dance, although I also like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, even if I can't tell you much about most of the characters. But towards the end of 2018, I started to get into Pokemon. I think my brothers were sort of into Pokemon when they were younger, but I didn't really know much about it until recently. I even missed out on the whole Pokemon Go craze in 2016, when it was the hottest game around. However, I did start playing Pokemon Go a full two years after it first became popular, purely because some friends in gym class were talking about it and I thought it sounded interesting. From there, my interest skyrocketed. I've still never played a real Pokemon game (although I definitely would like to), but I just really like learning about all the different creatures. I like how they have so many different kinds of Pokemon, from the intimidating to the adorable. I like learning about the different origins behind each Pokemon, often rooted in folklore and mythology from different cultures. I like watching the anime and seeing how these creatures act in their own world. I like how they emphasize that even though you can use your Pokemon to fight, above all else, they are your friends, like a pet but even stronger. The world of Pokemon is filled with creativity, imagination, and wonder, and even though I missed out on it as a kid, it makes me feel like a kid again.

A big part of why I like Pokemon so much is because I'm the type of person who loves cutesy things. Pokemon comes from Japan, where a big part of their pop culture is based on cute things, known as kawaii. Because of this, a lot of Pokemon tend to be designed with cuteness in mind, and as a result, we have adorable characters like a tiny, playful blue sea turtlea pudgy electric Corgia singing pink puffballa spherical owl with a leafy bow tie, and of course, Pikachu. But although the first generation of Pokemon gave us such iconic and adorable characters as Pikachu, Eevee, and Jigglypuff, the developers weren't stopping there. In the second generation, with the games Pokemon Gold and Silver came the mechanism of breeding Pokemon, and with the introduction of breeding came new, smaller, in most cases cuter versions of favorite Pokemon, known as baby Pokemon! And that's what we're ranking today: we're ranking the baby Pokemon based on nothing but my personal preference. But before we begin, we need to establish our criteria for baby Pokemon. I use the ever-helpful Bulbapedia to answer my every Pokemon question, so here is what Bulbapedia counts as the criteria in defining "baby Pokemon":

"Specifically, baby Pokémon can be classified by the following criteria:
-Must be obtainable by breeding.
-Must be the lowest form in a family chain and must be able to evolve at least once.
-Must belong to the Undiscovered Egg Group*."

*Side note, the Undiscovered Egg Group basically means that the Pokemon that hatch from eggs in this group are unable to breed. Of course the babies belong to this group- they're babies. Why would they be reproducing? Bulbapedia also contains a list of the baby Pokemon, and we are going to be ranking the Pokemon only on that list, from my least favorite to my favorite. That's enough rambling, let's get ready for some cuties.

Image result for photos of all the baby pokemon
Honestly, if you don't think at least one of these characters is cute...then I don't know what to tell you. Clearly you and I have different ideas of cuteness.

19. Tyrogue
Evolves into Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, or Hitmontop depending on its attack stat. It's weird. 
Tyrogue is cute, but it's my least favorite because it's so weirdly shaped. I'm sorry, but its body shape looks...almost phallic, and when looking at a baby, my first thought should not be that it is shaped like a certain male anatomical structure. It's also not too special in that it's literally just a purple boy with spikes on its head. The Pokemon world has so much more creativity than that. 
18. Riolu
Evolves into Lucario
Riolu evolves into the ever-popular Lucario, one of the fan favorites from the fourth generation. Although not one of my absolute favorites, I think Lucario is a pretty cool Pokemon, but I'm just not super into Riolu. It's about a 6/10 on the cuteness scale, which is a lot lower than some of the other ones. And I know, who am I to criticize something for not being cute? Well, that's pretty much the entire point of baby Pokemon, so if it's not an 11/10 adorable Pokemon, then I don't really have any use for it. 
17. Magby
Evolves into Magmar

I'm sorry, Magby, you're cute. You look like a cute, sort of apprehensive fire duck. You're also the only fire-type baby Pokemon, so you stand out amongst your friends. But your head is so weirdly shaped! Seriously, what is its head supposed to be? Well, probably coal, seeing as it is known as the "Live Coal Pokemon", but it really just ends up looking like Magby has pimples or tumors covering its head. Poor Magby. 
16. Budew
Evolves into Roselia

The final stage of this Pokemon's evolutionary family, Roserade, is one of my personal favorites from the fourth generation. I love how elegant it looks. I also really like the middle stage for this line, Roselia, for its beautiful flowers and soothing colors. Unfortunately, Budew is just kind of bland for me. It just seems like a bulb with a smiley face and stubby feet. I do think the stubby feet are cute though. Also, I have no idea how to pronounce this Pokemon's name. In my head, I always pronounce it to rhyme with "voodoo", but it might be "bud-ew". It confuses me and I don't like that. 
15. Toxel
Evolves into Toxtricity

After three generations in a row with no new baby Pokemon, the generation eight games, Sword and Shield, saw the debut of Toxel, a Pokemon who is literally known as the "Baby Pokemon". This Pokemon looks like a pudgy purple baby, and it even seems to be wearing a diaper. But honestly, I just don't think this one is as cute as the other baby Pokemon. It's more "ugly-cute" than anything. But on the bright side, I think its evolved form, Toxtricity, is absolutely one of the best Pokemon to come from generation eight so far. It's so badass and punk rock and I love it! 
14. Igglybuff
Evolves into Jigglypuff

Jigglypuff is my favorite character to use in Super Smash Bros, so I'm pretty attached to it as a result. I just think it's so cute when it sings, inflates, or gets angry. Because Jigglypuff is so adorable, I'm not sure why it really needed a baby form. Igglybuff is pretty cute and I like how round it is, but I have to dock it points because I just think Jigglypuff is cuter and has a more unique design. 
13. Happiny
Evolves into Chansey

Happiny involves into Chansey and later Blissey, which are Pokemon known for being extremely hard to take down. The fact that the character Brock also had one in the Pokemon anime also gave Happiny some notoriety. I think it's cute and I like how it seems to have a pouch with an egg, but after Igglybuff and Cleffa, I don't see why we needed another pink baby Pokemon. 
12. Mime Jr.
Evolves into Mr. Mime
Mr. Mime is one of the most hated Pokemon for its unsettling appearance, and I will admit that it's pretty creepy. At first I'd ask why such an unpopular Pokemon got a baby form, but when you actually look at Mime Jr., it's easy to see why. With its little hat and red nose, Mime Jr. is certainly the cutest clown I've ever seen. It seems like that kid that's always eager to show everyone the cool things it can do, and while in real life, showoffs can be pretty annoying, Mime Jr. is quite the charmer. Also, Mr. Mime, despite its name, can also be female. I have questions.
11. Smoochum
Evolves into Jynx
Similar to Mr. Mime, Jynx is another unpopular Pokemon, only it's unpopular because its purple skin used to be black, so it resembled blackface. Despite the controversy, it got a baby form, called Smoochum. And honestly, while I don't like Jynx because of how awkward and weird it looks, I think Smoochum is pretty adorable! I love how sassy she is, and those kissy lips would make Kylie Jenner seethe with jealousy. There are other baby Pokemon I like more, obviously, but Smoochum is such an improvement over Jynx that I have to like it. 
10. Cleffa
Evolves into Clefairy
I don't know what makes Cleffa better than the other pink baby Pokemon, but I like it more than both Happiny and Igglybuff. I think it's because its face is more simple. With Igglybuff and Happiny, it's like they tried as hard as they could to make them as cute as possible, but Cleffa isn't really trying It just is cute. It's also star-shaped, and considering the name of this blog is Stellar in Neverland, that obviously gets points from me. 
9. Bonsly
Evolves into Sudowoodo
Sudowoodo is a rock that disguises itself as a tree to confuse predators, and it is one of my little brother's absolute favorite Pokemon. I think Sudowoodo is pretty cool and funny, but I prefer its baby form. I like how it looks like it's got a flowerpot as a diaper, and I like its dinky little feet. I also really love how nervous it looks in its official art. 
8. Chingling
Evolves into Chimecho
I don't think Chimecho, the wind-chime-like Pokemon, is that impressive, and yet I have a place in my heart for little Chingling. I just think this tiny bell is adorable. It's probably due to the stubby limbs. It also looks like your standard smiley face, like the stickers they used to give out at Walmart. Wait, was that actually a thing or did I falsely imagine something? (Nope, it was a thing. I have no idea why I remember it, but I did.)
7. Azurill
Evolves into Marill
Like Bonsly and Magby to an extent, Azurill looks so unsure in its official art. I guess this makes sense, because it is mouse-like and the word "mousy" means "nervous, shy, or timid; lacking in presence or charisma." I like how Azurill has a giant orb on its tail that it sits on. I'm confused as to why it's not a water type, seeing as the rest of its evolutions are, but it's still cute and funny.
6. Wynaut
Evolves into Wobbuffet
The Pokemon Wobbuffet is pretty well-known due to its role in the anime, where it is a member of Team Rocket and always seems to pop up at the most inopportune times. Due to its popularity, it got an adorable baby pre-evolution in the third generation, named Wynaut. It's so jovial and has a giant smile! For me, the number one cutest thing a character can have is a smile. If you want me to go "aww" at your character, just make it optimistic. That's definitely the case with Wynaut. I also think it's cute how this Pokemon's name is pronounced like "why not". "Should we keep this cute little guy around?" "Why not!"
5. Elekid
Evolves into Electabuzz
This little bugger is shaped like a plug! It's like it's a cute little battery for you to play with! I think this is a great design choice for an electric-type Pokemon. Elekid just looks like the kind of kid that would be running around all the time, filled with energy and hyperactivity. Definitely the kind of Pokemon to keep you on your toes, but one with plenty of benefits. It would be a good friend and fighter. 
4. Togepi
Evolves into Togetic
I like to think of Togepi as the mascot of the baby Pokemon. It's certainly one of the more famous in the lineup due to the character Misty having one in the Pokemon anime. It's incredibly adorable, looking like a hatchling from a colorful egg. Togepi is just a spiky little ball of happiness. It's also pretty cute in Super Smash Bros, where it is one of the many Pokemon that can come out to help you when you grab a Poke Ball. I think its little voice is really cute. 
3. Pichu
Evolves into Pikachu
Pikachu is the most famous Pokemon and the mascot of the series, so naturally it was going to be one of the first Pokemon to get a baby form. Pichu is another one of the most famous baby Pokemon, even appearing in Super Smash Bros. Pichu's appearances in Smash are a big factor in it ranking so high. I just find it incredibly amusing how, when used well, this adorable baby can beat even the toughest of fighters in the game's roster. With his giant head and small body, Pichu is one of the cutest baby Pokemon for me. All of the baby Pokemon are cute, it's kind of the point of them, but Pichu is one of the cutest of all.
2. Mantyke
Evolves into Mantine
I'm not too attached to Mantine, Mantyke's evolved form, but damn do I love this little ray. It's just so cute and happy, and its little grin is adorable. If I was asked to name which of these characters I think is the cutest, I would either go Pichu or Mantyke, which is why they're so high on the list. I also use this Pokemon sometimes when I play Pokemon Showdown (a Pokemon battle simulator) in the Little Cup tier (which is made specifically for the smallest Pokemon). I named mine Skye and it's very cute but also pretty good at battle. But mostly I just love this one for its back design!
Image result for mantyke back

It's got a smiley on its back! Isn't that adorable?
1. Munchlax
Evolves into Snorlax
Snorlax, the lazy but lovable gentle giant, is one of the most beloved of the original 151 Pokemon. With its immense size and power yet docile nature, it's also one of my all-time favorites. Despite its popularity, Snorlax didn't get a baby form until the fourth generation. Although I wouldn't say Munchlax is the absolute cutest baby Pokemon, it's still extremely adorable. I love how happy-go-lucky this little fellow is. It's also pretty relatable, as its Pokedex entry for Pokemon Sword states, "Stuffing itself with vast amounts of food is its only concern. Whether the food is rotten or fresh, yummy or tasteless—it does not care." It eats its entire weight every day. I'm sure we've all had moments where we wanted to do that. Munchlax is just a funny little guy and I love that.

So, after ctrl-f'ing my page, I have used the word "cute" 32 times and "adorable" 13 times in this post. I guess that's what happens when you write about baby Pokemon. I'll definitely talk about Pokemon a lot more on this blog. On March 7, it's my birthday, so I think I'm just gonna gush about why I love the Pokemon Sun and Moon anime series. As for the next two weeks, I'll do another Movie Talk next week, probably on Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Then on the 29th, I'll do part 2 of my Kpop Crash Course. Of course, it's likely to change, but that's what my plans look like as of right now. So that's all I have for today, I'll see you next Saturday.

Stellar

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Every Fall Out Boy Single Ranked From Worst to Best

Hi, I’m Stellar, and my not-so-secret emo self has come back from the dead. Okay, that’s not fair, because I don’t think she ever really died in the first place. True, I’m not as obsessive over Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco as I was in 2016, but I still jam out to them from time to time. I especially love blaring their music when I’m home alone, and considering both of my brothers are in baseball, I bet I’ll be doing that a lot this summer. For today’s post, we’re going to try something I’ve never really done before, and that’s a ranking. This might be a new series, but I’m not sure. Basically, I look at every item in a certain category and rank them from worst to best. I’ve seen versions of this on Buzzfeed where they rank Marvel movies, Disney parents, ways to eat a potato (hahaha), and my personal favorite: every High School Musical song.Today, we’re ranking every single released by Fall Out Boy, because I thought it would be fun. I might do this with various musical artists, ranking every single (or maybe even every song, period) in their discography.

Okay, to be fair, we’re not looking at every Fall Out Boy single. Because here is a rule we’re using and will continue to use for future editions shall this become a series: no covers. Fall Out Boy has released covers of “Beat It” and “Ghostbusters” as singles, but those will not be included in the ranking. The reason why is that if I’m gonna listen to Fall Out Boy, I’m gonna listen to 100% FOB, something that’s entirely original to the band. (And also because, in my opinion, neither of those covers are very good.) There are 29 songs in this ranking, and I’m ranking them from worst to best based on my opinion and my opinion only. This is not a list of my overall favorite songs from the band (that post will likely come at some point, though), it is just a list of their singles according to the Wikipedia page for the band's discography.  So let’s get started, and as with the Top 20 Panic! At The Disco Songs post, may the pretentious and overly long titles ensue. Also similar to that post: I will get really geeky and passionate and probably embarrass myself. Deal with it.

Also, one last thing: this is completely subjective. You probably disagree with at least one of my placements, and that's totally fine!

#29. "Young and Menace" (Mania)
This was the lead single from the band’s most recent album Mania, but truth be told, this is the first time I’ve actually listened to it. The reason why is because...well, I heard a few snippets of it and made the conscious decision to avoid it like the plague. Many fans will claim it sucks because they decided to “sell out” or “go dubstep” or whatever. I don’t care about that. I claim it sucks because it just straight-up sounds abysmal. It starts out making you think it’ll be decent in the first verse, with a somber build-up that could actually turn into something great. Then they start quoting Britney Spears, and you’re just like, “Um, guys, what’s going on?” Then the drop hits. See, there’s actually another Fall Out Boy song out there, “Death Valley”, which has dubstep elements, so this is not a new thing. However, in “Death Valley”, it actually sounds pretty cool, which is something that can’t be said about “Young and Menace”. The drop on this song is annoying, goes on for far too long, and just makes you want to chop your ears off. Patrick Stump, the band’s lead singer (whom I will praise numerous times throughout this post) has a beautiful, soulful voice. Whose decision was it to chop it up and pitch-shift it to oblivion? The part at the end where he starts belting over it doesn’t make it better, if anything it just makes it worse. Fall Out Boy have written countless songs I love so this song doesn’t make me ardently hate them or anything, but it’s certainly a disappointment and I pray they never make anything this rancid again.

#28. "American Beauty/American Psycho" (American Beauty/American Psycho)
Not sure how much of an unpopular opinion of this is, but the title track from the band’s 2015 album American Beauty/American Psycho is one of my least favorite Fall Out Boy songs. This one is just annoying for me. The chorus is just the line “she’s an American beauty, I’m an American psycho” repeated over and over again with some “whoa, whoa, whoa”’s thrown in there. It gets really old fast. The lyrics are pretty bland, repetitive, and make no sense (“I wish I dreamt in the shape of your mouth, but it’s your thread count I really care about“ in particular is really baffling). And of course, the weirdest part is the rap-chanting thing after the second verse. Why is that there? Why did anyone approve that? If you’re getting out your pitchforks because I’m being harsh on this song, don’t worry. I love this band, but that doesn’t mean I have to love every song they do. Stick around, we’ll get to the good stuff before you know it ;)

#27. "Champion" (Mania)
From my First Impressions #1 post from last October, where I talked about this song sort of in-depth: “Oh yikes, Fall Out Boy. Now don't go thinking I hate them (because I don't), it's just that last year I went through a phase where I practically worshipped them and I'm unable to listen to any of their music without thinking of those cringey times of my life. After last year's cringe-fest, I've pretty much stopped paying attention to them so this is the first of their new music I've heard. This one's okay, but it's disappointing considering that they've made some really good songs. The lyrics are really generic and lack the snarky Fall Out Boy charm I've come to expect from them, and the beat is more poppy than it should be considering FOB is a rock band. The vocals are really good, though, and the chorus is catchy, so I guess this one isn't a total waste of my time. 6.5/10” Yeah, not much else to say there. (Watches the "visualizer" video) Wait, is that Post Malone? Yeah, that’s Post Malone. Hey, you know what’s a good song? “Psycho” by Post Malone and Ty Dolla $ign. I like that song more than this song. Yeah.

#26. "Immortals" (American Beauty/American Psycho)
“Immortals” was made for the movie Big Hero 6, but it also appears on AB/AP. I think the fact that it was written for a kid’s movie means that it’s one of their weaker songs. I mean, most soundtrack songs are probably written with more input from the producers of the movie than the artist themselves, so you get a more watered-down version of their sound. Plus, let’s be real: most soundtrack singles are just made to get a quick buck for the artist. Between the annoying synth riff, the grating chorus, and the unnecessary autotune, this is definitely one of my least favorite Fall Out Boy songs. Although I will say it is pretty cool that one of my favorite bands got to do a song for one of my favorite movies. I love Big Hero 6 so much, what a good movie.

#25. "Centuries" (American Beauty/American Psycho)
“Centuries” was the lead single for American Beauty/American Psycho, and when this song came out, I was obsessed. I just thought it was so epic sounding and awesome and I played it over and over again. Then I heard other songs from the album and realized, “This song is good, but they’ve done a hell of a lot better.” It’s just a weaker version of “Light ‘Em Up” for me. It’s not a bad song at all, and it does do a fantastic job of getting you hyped up. It’s just mediocre compared to some of the band’s other songs. Plus it doesn’t stand up to overplay for me, because I got really sick of it after a while.

#24. "Dead on Arrival" (Take This to Your Grave)
Take This to Your Grave, the band’s first album, is viewed as a pop-punk classic by many, but I’m admittedly not huge on it. I think it’s because it’s more of a raw pop-punk style than later albums, and I prefer my Fall Out Boy more polished but still with an edge. Also I think part of it is because Patrick Stump sounds really nasally and like he’s doing the stereotypical pop-punk voice in every song. But it’s okay, because his singing got better with every album and from maybe Infinity on High onward, he’s amazing. “Dead on Arrival” was their first single, and it’s okay. I like some of the lyrical metaphors about music, and it does show promise of what the band would become in the near future. It’s just not a song that I really come back to.

#23. "Hold Me Tight or Don't" (Mania)
I’ve heard snippets of this one on the radio. It’s definitely a different sound for the band, with an island-reggae vibe. To my knowledge, they’ve never done anything even close to this, and although it’s different, it’s still alright. It has a drop like “Young and Menace”, but the drop here is less obnoxious and makes sense considering the overall sound of the song. However, despite it being very unique for the band sonically, the melody, lyrics and vocals are all signature FOB. Just change some of the production elements and you could have something from Save Rock and Roll. It’s not my favorite, but it is really catchy and I appreciate them trying something new. I also like the line “We were lovers first, confidants but never friends/Were we ever friends?” It reminds me of a line from “Bang the Doldrums” off Infinity on High, which is one of my favorite songs by them. I appreciate the call-back :)

#22. "Irresistible" ft. Demi Lovato (American Beauty/American Psycho)
Ah, the song that made me hate Demi Lovato for a period of time. I used to be so pretentious when it came to this version, because the original is just so much better and Demi is just so horrible and it’s selling out and blah-blah-blah. I still think the original is overall better and this remix doesn’t really have a reason to exist other than to get the song more popular. But it’s still a really good song no matter what form it’s in. Yes, I prefer Patrick’s voice on his own, but Demi’s harmonizations are cool and she hits some pretty great high notes. Plus I know she disagrees, seeing as she keeps on trying to do soul-influenced music, but I’ve always felt like her natural vocal tone is better suited to pop rock, like in her Disney days. Overall, the “Irresistible” remix is a really fun and catchy pop-rock track with infectious “whoa-whoa-whoa”’s, but the original will always reign supreme for me. Also, the original has my personal favorite Fall Out Boy music video of all time. It’s so cheesy and over-the-top and they cram it with as many inside jokes within the fandom as they possibly can. It’s wonderful.

#21. "Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) (Mania)
Maybe it’s because I haven’t heard them as much, or maybe it’s because they’re just not as good, but I can’t put any of the Mania songs all that high up on this ranking. However, this one’s pretty solid. It sounds like an outtake from American Beauty/American Psycho. I really like the “whoa-whoa-whoa”’s and the main line “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color”, which is just so stereotypically emo it’s amusing. One thing I’m noticing about these Mania songs is that Patrick’s being a lot more confident with his voice and hitting even higher notes than usual. Here he does some high harmonized falsettos and he does some runs at the end. Good job.

#20. "Alone Together" (Save Rock and Roll)
Hey, I talked about this one in my Fall 2017 Playlist! Based off of my inclusion of this song in that playlist, you’re probably thinking I like it more than I actually do. It’s not that I don’t like it, because I do think it has some of the band’s best melodies ever and I have lots of nostalgia of listening to it in the fall of 2013. However, compared to some of the other songs on that album like “Death Valley” and “Where Did The Party Go”, it just feels like album filler. I’m not sure why it was released as a single over some of those songs. This is probably my least favorite of the singles from Save Rock and Roll, but it’s still a decent little song.

#19. "I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You)"  (Infinity on High)
Initially when I listened to Infinity on High, this was my favorite song. However, the more I listened to the album, the more I realized there were better songs. I really like how it’s more of a mid-tempo R&B-inspired song as opposed to the upbeat pop-punk the band was known for at the time. I love the verses and the pre-chorus, but the chorus is just kind of lazy for me. It still has some great melodies and lyrics (my favorite line is “We’re the new face of failure, prettier and younger but not any better off”), and I appreciate the experimentation they were doing. It’s a worthwhile addition to their discography.

#18. "America's Suitehearts" (Folie a Deux)
Full disclosure: Folie a Deux is by far my favorite Fall Out Boy album. It’s not even a contest, I just unabashedly love everything about that record. It turns ten years old in December, so I’m going to write a thing about it for the tenth anniversary. This is probably my least favorite song from that album. However, that’s more because it’s like an 8/10 while the rest of the album is a 9/10 or higher. Mostly higher. It is a really good song, and probably one of the best single choices. This song has a catchy chorus, delightful harmonies, and even a slight key change. It’s a cool song, it’s just not as WOW THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVER as most of the rest of the album.

#17. "I Don't Care" (Folie a Deux)
I find it amusing how for the majority of albums I’ve heard, the lead single is usually not one of my favorites off the album. “I Don’t Care”, the first single for Folie, does not buck that trend. If anything, it’s one of the lesser tracks, but considering how wonderful the rest of that album is, that isn’t saying much. And of course, “I Don’t Care” is still a ton of fun. It’s got one of their best guitar riffs and some particularly soulful vocals, especially at the end. The lyrics are really narcissistic, but they’re narcissistic on purpose, as this song is a parody of how self-centered people can be. And when I put it like that, it just sounds really pretentious, but (no pun intended) I don’t care. This song is still pretty great, even though most of Folie a Deux is better for me.

#16. "The Take Over, The Breaks Over" (Infinity on High)
This one has never been one of my absolute favorites, but I do like it a lot. It opens up with a really catchy riff which doesn’t outstay its welcome and appears at just the right times. There’s a pretty cool guitar solo, which is a surprisingly rare feature in the band’s discography. And on that note, the transition from the really long note on the word “fair” into the solo is majestic, best moment in the song by far. I also really like the melody on the “We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces” part. Lyrically it’s about how they feel about getting famous and it opens with one of the all-time classic FOB lyrics: “seasons change, but people don’t”. Again, this isn’t one of my all-time favorites, but it is really good and definitely one of the band’s most underrated singles.

#15. "Saturday" (Take This to Your Grave)
This is one of my favorite songs from Take This to Your Grave, although I admittedly haven’t listened to many of them in a while. This one just makes me feel really nostalgic for some reason. Maybe it’s just because it’s so 2000s pop-punk sounding, although I was only a year old when it came out. I think I just like this song because I know of its significance to the band. It’s one of their favorite songs they’ve done, and it’s the song they end most of their concerts with. Plus this song has Pete Wentz screaming! I’m not even that huge on screamo music, but any time he screams in a Fall Out Boy song it’s a delight for me. The best moment is when they change “I can’t sleep” to “me and Pete” in the final chorus. I just think that’s cute for some reason.

#14. "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" (Infinity on High)
This song peaked at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100, which makes it the band’s biggest hit going off of that. That’s weird to me, because it’s not one you really hear all that often anymore, at least not compared to other songs like “Sugar” and “Dance, Dance”. It’s also arguably one of their most pretentious, dare-I-say a**hole-y, songs. But dammit, it’s fun. When I listened to it for the writing of this post, I just went HAM the entire song. The chant of “this ain’t a scene, it’s a GAH! DEH! ARH! REH!” (yes, I know he’s actually saying words, but it’s more fun to sing that way), especially at the end when it’s a straight-up sing-along, just makes me happy. It’s probably one of their most earwormy songs ever. Also fun fact: you can buy a GAH DEH ARH REH t-shirt :)

#13. "The Last of the Real Ones" (Mania)
This was the last song I listened to for this ranking. I decided to listen to all the pre-Mania songs in a random order, then I did all the Mania songs in the order I thought they’d be based off of what I’ve heard of them, which is the actual order they’re in! Yay! So yeah, I saved this one for last because I somehow knew it would be a pretty dope song. Nothing about this is really reminiscent of old Fall Out Boy, but it totally works for me. It’s got a really great groove and the pianos are just awesome. Lyrically, this song is “a love song that uses celestial imagery to illustrate the gravity of the narrator’s devotion”, and considering my blog name also uses celestial imagery in a way, I enjoy that a lot. My favorite lyric is “I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me”, which is such a timeless-sounding Fall Out Boy line, like I’m not sure how to describe why but it sounds like it could be taken from a Take This to Your Grave track. This song is a jam and I can definitely see myself listening to it a lot.

#12. "Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy" (Take This to Your Grave)
I haven’t spent all that much time with Take This to Your Grave, but this is probably my favorite song from the album. I mean, I just listen to it and I’m just like, “Aw, how adorable.” Patrick’s really nasally as expected considering the era, but it works in the song’s advantage here. The acapella opening is straight-up legendary, and he just overall kind of sounds like a puppy. I know that’s a really weird way to describe somebody’s singing voice, but it makes sense to me in this case. This song is a crowd-pleaser mainly for the band’s oldest fans, but even I, someone who hasn’t loved the band for that long, can get enjoyment out of it.

#11. "Young Volcanoes" (Save Rock and Roll)
One day during the summer of 2016, I was listening to this song while playing Mario Kart Wii in my basement and I decided right then and there that this was my favorite song of all time. Two years later, it’s not even my favorite single from Save Rock and Roll, but it’s still easy to see why I loved it so much. This is just one of those songs that can make you happy every time you hear it, and it is far and away the most jovial Fall Out Boy song. It sounds like the soundtrack to the best campfire ever, where there are no bad vibes and everyone is accepted and united because of their love of good music. I want to live in the universe this song paints. Also, the moment when Patrick giggles after singing “We will teach you how to make boys next door out of a**holes” will always be amazing.

#10. "Alpha Dog" (Believers Never Die)
I think because this song doesn’t appear on one of the band’s main albums (Believers Never Die is their greatest hits compilation), it goes unnoticed by many casual fans. And that sucks, because this song is so awesome. It definitely sounds like a song from Folie a Deux, which makes sense because it came out shortly after that album. This song has some of my favorite lyrics such as “We must make it hard to look so easy doing something so hard” and “You’re not the first or the last but you’re possibly the prettiest”. Also Patrick goes pretty HAM on the vocals, especially at the end. If you think his voice is annoying, I can get why that would be a turn-off, but I love his voice so those vocal acrobatics make me happy. However, my favorite part is his low register in the beginning, which is...why doesn’t he use it more often? It’s amazing! This song is incredible, but I can’t put it any higher than this because the “I’m a star” chanting part in the second verse has never sat well with me and the other new track from Believers Never Die, “From Now on We Are Enemies”, is significantly better. That song is so unbelievably underrated and one of my favorite FOB songs ever.

#9. "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)" (Save Rock and Roll)
After Folie a Deux received lukewarm opinions from fans (despite it being most current fans’ favorite album, as well as mine), the band decided to take some time off to do solo work and just take a break. The fans didn’t know whether they’d ever get new FOB music...until February 4, 2013, when, after three years, they came back with this. Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary folks, this is how you do a comeback. Everything about this is just epic and massive and it, more than any other song, has defined Post-Hiatus Fall Out Boy’s sound. I mean, think about it. “Centuries”, “Immortals”, “Champion”, all of them have tried to do the massive sports stadium sing-along thing after this one, but none have come close. The way Patrick’s voice soars in the “my songs kno-ow what you did in the da-a-a-a-rk!” pre-chorus is eargasmic. I wasn’t a fan of the band in 2013 when this song came out, but it always got me hyped, and five years later, it still does. I can’t put it too high because it is extremely overplayed, especially at sporting events and in movies, but hey, it deserves the overplay.

#8. "What a Catch, Donnie" (Folie a Deux)
Oh my god, this song. Just the sheer mention of it can cause a Fall Out Boy fan to break down into tears. The story behind this song is that Pete Wentz, the band’s bassist and lyricist, wrote the song for Patrick Stump, who is his best friend and somebody who, based off of what I’ve read, has struggled with his self-esteem in the past. It’s probably their most depressing yet uplifting song ever, and it’s just so well-done and it gives me chills. It’s this huge, dramatic, and just heartbreaking ballad. It completely uses key changes to its advantage and the part at the end where a bunch of the band’s pop-punk singer buddies sing a medley of their old songs just gets me. For me, this is the emotional core of Folie a Deux and a definite highlight of their discography, even though I don’t come back to it that often. It’s just really heavy, man!

#7. "Dance, Dance" (From Under the Cork Tree)
From Under the Cork Tree isn’t my favorite Fall Out Boy album, but I definitely think it’s the one with the best single choices. All three of the singles from that album are amazing and deservedly some of Fall Out Boy’s most well-known songs. Hell, this is probably my least favorite and it’s still a 10/10 for me! The most noteworthy thing about it is that bassline, which is just killer. It’s so simple but catchy, which is exactly what a good bassline should be in my eyes. It’s one of their most catchy and frantic songs, which is why it’s still popular. The lyrics are about an awkward teenager trying to get with a girl at a dance, and I find that oddly charming. Although that’s probably because of the music video more than anything, which is the perfect accompaniment to the song. More nerdy Fall Out Boy, please! One last random yet awesome tidbit: Kidz Bop tried to cover this song on one of their albums but the band actively said no because it was too sexual. That’s just really funny to me.

#6. "Uma Thurman" (American Beauty/American Psycho)
2015 was one year before I officially became a Fall Out Boy stan, and yet it was “Uma Thurman” that defined that year for me more than any other song. I remember my friend who was formerly CHUCKLES on that old blog was all excited about this song around April, and then it sort of became a meme in my friend group. We went skating at our local roller rink and she requested they play this song, which they did. So I started writing a story about us making a competitive skating team called the Uma Hermans because Quidditch_Turtle kept pronouncing the title wrong. Basically, my love of this song boils down to 2015 nostalgia (because that was undoubtedly the best year of my life thus far) and the sample of The Munsters theme song. That’s a good sample.

#5. "Sugar, We're Goin Down" (From Under the Cork Tree)
What even is there to say about “Sugar, We’re Goin Down”? It’s one of the most iconic and beloved songs of the 2000s emo scene, and if I had to pick a signature song for Fall Out Boy, this would be my pick. “Sugar” is to Fall Out Boy what “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” is to their proteges, Panic! At The Disco. It’s not their absolute best song ever, but you can’t help but love it because it’s just such a classic! I remember back in my emo phase, this song did a particularly good job of making me happy even at my worst times, so it has that in its favor. Plus there’s the endless amount of memes based on people not knowing what the lyrics are:
I swear to God, Patrick Stump is the male Ariana Grande. Both are amazing singers...even if you don't know what the hell they're saying half the time.

#4. "Thnks fr th Mmrs" (Infinity on High)
“Thnks fr th Mmrs” was the first Fall Out Boy song I ever remember hearing. My memories of the first time I heard it are faint because I was probably only five or six, but I vaguely remember hearing a song that went “thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories” as a kid but never knowing who it was by. For that, I will always have a soft spot for this song and consider it one of my favorites. It is a really good song itself, and one of their more experimental-sounding (but still insanely catchy) songs from the time. This song opens with these huge horns and has some cool Spanish guitars in its bridge. Plus the chorus is really catchy and the song as a whole is fun to sing along to. I also really love the story behind the title. Basically, the band’s label was pissed because their titles were too long, so the band essentially gave them the middle finger and took out the vowels in the song’s title. One last thing worth mentioning: the girl in the music video is Kim Kardashian before she became the pop culture powerhouse we know and...love? Hate? Honestly, that’s completely subjective.

#3. "The Phoenix" (Save Rock and Roll)
This song means a lot to me, because it is the song that made me love this band. I will never forget that day. It was January 3, 2016, the last day of Christmas break. I had a bunch of homework to do because I slacked off because (Ross from Friends voice) we were on a break! I soundtracked my homework by listening to a bunch of my favorite songs and once I ran out of songs, I decided to listen to this one on a whim because I had heard it was good. Honestly, I had heard snippets of it and didn’t think much of it but when I listened to it for the first time, it blew my mind. I’ve described numerous songs on this ranking as “epic” but none of them can match the sheer scope of this bad boy. This song is a battle cry, what with its proclamations of “put on your war paint!”, sampled orchestral arrangements, and sweeping chorus. The single best moment is the really long note Patrick does after bridge, the “HEYYYY YOUNGBLOOD!” That moment right there is the kind of thing that can make a Fall Out Boy fan. At least it made me one.

#2. "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More 'Touch Me'" (From Under the Cork Tree)
“Of All the Gin Joints in All the World” is my favorite song from From Under the Cork Tree, but this one is a close second. To me, it’s the perfect embodiment of everything that made this era of Fall Out Boy great. A memorable guitar riff that sticks in the brain, wonderfully petty lyrics (“I don’t blame you for being you, but you can’t blame me for hating it” is just...whoa), slightly nasally but still charming and expressive vocals, and one of their most instantly hummable hooks. Oh, and an unnecessarily long, pop culture-referencing title that doesn’t appear in the lyrics, but that’s par for the course at this point.

#1. "Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet" (Folie a Deux)
I didn’t pick this song as the best one because it’s one of their least known singles and I want to boost my hipster cred. I chose it because it is, for now at least, my favorite Fall Out Boy song. I’m not just talking singles. This is, out of every Fall Out Boy song ever released, the one I consider my favorite (although there is one song that comes close and may have overtaken it by the time I do the favorites list, but only time will tell). This song is just a complete and total masterpiece in my eyes, bringing out the best of what this band is truly capable of. The instrumentation is straight-up massive, starting out swaggering and awesome only to switch into a somber piano ballad soon after. The constant change-ups in the instrumental are probably the biggest reason why I love this song. Plus the horns are fantastic and such a great accent to the rest of the song. The lyrics have the signature “word-salad-that-is-actually-pretty-deep-once-you-look-closer” that we’ve come to expect from Pete Wentz, but the overall message is pretty straightforward. This song is about infidelity, with the narrator being the “other man” to the married woman. It’s sort of a unique turn to what we usually hear from FOB, and the lyric “I don’t just want to be a footnote in someone else’s happiness” is one that really sticks with me. And of course, Patrick Stump gives what just may be his best vocal performance ever. Seriously, I frequently sing this song when I’m home alone and I end up out of breath every time. The dude goes from low to high in the blink of an eye (unintentional rhyming!) and I’m just left awestruck at how he does it. The best part is in the bridge where he just belts “does your husband know?” over and over again and it is glorious. I don’t know how else to wrap this up...oh, I can talk about the video! Basically it’s a really cheesy tribute to the 80s movie Weekend at Bernie's starring Panic! At The Disco and I love it to death.

So that's my ranking...for now. Honestly, it will probably change really soon, but I won't make an update as soon as that happens. I'm sticking with this for now. Oh, and one last thing: One last thing: shout-out to “The Carpal Tunnel of Love”. I was only going off of the list of their singles on the Wikipedia page for the band’s entire discography, but I checked the page for Infinity on High and it said that was the first single for the album, not “Arms Race”. I didn’t notice this until it was too late, and that sucks because spoiler alert: this song is “the one that comes close to being my favorite” and whenever I make my list of my favorite Fall Out Boy songs, you can bet it will be very, very high up :)

Next week's post will be just a list of songs that remind me of the summer, because school gets out for summer next Friday and I want to celebrate it, even if I'm doing so two days early. That'll be up next Wednesday, May 30. I'm Stellar in Neverland and I'll see you then. Peace!

Stellar