My Top 20 Favorite Panic! At The Disco Songs

Hi, I’m Stellar, and welcome to Stellar in Neverland! I was planning on doing a collaboration this week, but things didn’t work out, so what do I have? Funny story, actually, because I was actually planning on doing this post at some point in the future, but not this soon. My original plan for this week if the collab didn’t work was to review the latest Kidz Bop album, entirely for the sake of comedy and irony. But last week, I said I would temporarily abstain from doing First Impressions posts, and I wanted to keep that promise for more than a week. Besides, I was home alone on Saturday and listening to a bunch of old Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Twenty One Pilots songs, reminiscing about my emo phase from two years ago. This got me into the mood to talk about my favorite Panic! At The Disco songs of all time. I know it would make more sense to list my favorite Fall Out Boy songs since they just dropped a new album, but I decided to talk about Panic! instead because it was easier for me. I’ve had this list relatively planned out for quite some time now, but I’d have to re-listen to a bunch of Fall Out Boy songs and put them in order for the post. So without further ado, here are my Top 20 Favorite Panic! At The Disco Songs. Remember, this is based solely off of MY opinion, and if you disagree that’s totally fine. Let the long, nonsensical titles that don’t have anything to do with the song ensue.

Hahaha...get it...cause DISCO! oh my god I hate myself
Also, DISCLAIMER: I'm going to get EXTREMELY geeky in this post and probably embarrass myself. But hey, that's what this blog is for! 

20. “Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time” (Death of a Bachelor)

Built around a sample of “Rock Lobster” by the B-52’s, “Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time” is a big fan favorite off of the band’s most recent album Death of a Bachelor. That album was the first one I had listened to from the band and this was an instant favorite of mine. I like this one because of the lyrics, which were inspired by parties frontman (and sole remaining member) Brendon Urie had been to in real life and are very tongue-in-cheek. My favorite lines are “I lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon skirt, but I make these high heels work” and “I’m not as think as you drunk I am”.

19. “Sarah Smiles” (Vices and Virtues)

The 2011 album Vices and Virtues is my second-favorite from the band, with only the debut A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out ahead of it. I just really love the vintage-pop vibe found on that album. Brendon wrote “Sarah Smiles” as an attempt to win over his eventual wife Sarah, and the lyrics are just adorable. The chorus goes, “Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn’t care, she lives in her world, so unaware, does she know that my destiny lies with her?” and it’s just so cute, especially considering that they’re now happily married.

18. “All The Boys” (Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!)

Next we have “All The Boys” from the Japanese and Target editions of 2013’s Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!. This is one of Panic!’s more synth-poppy songs, which might be a turn-off if you’re not into that style, but I personally love it. The chorus on this one is insanely catchy, and it matches the Vegas electropop vibe of its parent album perfectly. I think it should’ve made the album proper rather than just being a bonus track, and in my opinion, it’s one of their most underrated songs.

17. “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” (A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out)

That’s a fun way to transition, going from a hidden gem to the band’s signature song and biggest hit. “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” was the big single from the band’s debut album, and it was so popular that I still hear it every now and then on the radio. I won’t deny that there are better songs both on Fever and in the band’s discography as a whole, but come on, “I Write Sins” is such a classic. With an instantly recognizable intro, quotable lyrics, and one of the most iconic videos of the 2000’s emo scene, I can’t help but love it.

16. “LA Devotee” (Death of a Bachelor)

Back in the prime of my emo phase in 2016, this was my favorite song on Death of a Bachelor. While there is one song I love even more from that album, I still have a soft spot for “LA Devotee”. The lyrics are about a woman who embodies everything about Los Angeles, and while there are some good lines, I mainly just love the way this song sounds. It sounds like if you took the 80’s-synthpop of Too Weird and combined it with the horns that appear throughout Death of a Bachelor, and the melodies are amazing. Plus there’s a KEY CHANGE!

15. “This Is Gospel” (Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!)

While in my emo phase, I thought this song was overrated, but coming back to it afterwards, I realize that I was an idiot for thinking that. The song was written about former member Spencer Smith’s battle with alcoholism and addiction, and it has a very powerful message about going through tough times. It has a bombastic sound not unlike what labelmates (and the band that signed Panic!) Fall Out Boy were making around the same time period, a memorable hook of “if you love me, let me go”, and some of Brendon’s most powerful vocals.

14. “Camisado” (A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out)

Similar to the last song, “Camisado” was inspired by a battle with alcoholism. Former Panic! guitarist Ryan Ross wrote the song about his father’s struggles and the anger he felt as a result of them, and they’re vivid with imagery of being stuck in a hospital. There’s also an urgency in the way Brendon sings the song, which is fitting. This song is another one with a great chorus that should’ve guaranteed it as a single (it wasn’t, though), and it has a pop-punk edge I enjoy. The only reason why it isn’t higher is because there’s this weird squelching noise in the bridge that is confusing and weird, but it doesn’t take away from my enjoyment of the song too much.

13. “Trade Mistakes” (Vices and Virtues)

This song is on here mainly because I just think it sounds pretty. The strings that bookend the track are nice and soothing to listen to, and the synths are twinkling and beautiful. The song sounds like a lullaby, which makes sense considering one of the lyrics is “If I could trade mistakes for sleep, count me away before you sleep”. The song is about admitting your mistakes, and it’s a pretty and emotional song that’s easy to immerse yourself into.

12. “Build God, Then We’ll Talk” (A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out)

One of my friends who was also into Panic! around the time I was didn’t like this song because it’s about prostitution. For me, the topic of the lyrics doesn’t matter, which is why I’m able to love “Build God, Then We’ll Talk” so much. More than the meaning of the lyrics themselves, I just like how they flow. They have sort of a show-tune-esque melody, and the dark parody of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music in the bridge is genius. Plus, there’s a cello solo in one part, which is just awesome and unexpected. I don’t like the video, though, it’s kind of horrifying and not in a good way.

11. “Nicotine” (Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!)

Call me a hypocrite for complaining about how songs that compare love to drugs are cliche and overused on numerous occasions but putting this on here, but “Nicotine” is such an irresistible song. Yes, the lyrics are somewhat cliche, but the song contains what is probably the best guitar riff the band has ever had and an amazing hook. The somber bridge is also fantastic. It has a rock sound to it that makes it stand out from its album, but it’s not too out of left field that it doesn’t feel cohesive with the rest of the tracks from Too Weird.

10. “Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off” (A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out)

With a hefty 14 words, “Lying…” (as I prefer to abbreviate it) has the longest title of any song on my list. Long, pretentious titles were a staple of Panic!’s earlier work, and this song is classic Panic! The lyrics are about the narrator being cheated on, and they’re angsty but super fun to sing along to. I love the contrast between the moody verses and explosive chorus, as well as the outro, which just strips the chorus down to a piano and is actually a really pretty arrangement. I like to belt this one out when I’m home alone.

9. “That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)” (Pretty. Odd.)

The band’s 2008 sophomore album Pretty. Odd. is a fan favorite, but I never really got into it. It had a drastic shift in sound from the debut, being heavily inspired by the Beatles, and while I respect it, it just doesn’t appeal to me. Still, there are two songs on it that I absolutely love, and this is one of them. This is one of the most positive songs Panic! At The Disco has ever written, with a great message about being okay with change. The music is 60’s-inspired and very jovial, and it’s one of those songs that just makes you feel happy when you listen to it.

8. “Northern Downpour” (Pretty. Odd.)

Here is the other song from Pretty. Odd. to make my list, although it’s very different in mood from “That Green Gentleman”. “Northern Downpour” is introspective and acoustic-based. The lyrics have lots of metaphors and make you think. I also like how this is pretty much a duet between Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross, and I love the harmonizations in the song. This song is one of the band’s most emotional and calming, and despite not being a huge fan of the album it’s on, it’s a song that has stuck with me for quite some time.

7. “Bittersweet” (Vices and Virtues)

THIS SONG IS SO UNDERRATED IT PHYSICALLY PAINS ME. Released only as a bonus track for those who pre-ordered Vices and Virtues on iTunes, it should’ve been on the regular album. Pretty much every bonus track from Vices is incredible, but “Bittersweet” has been my favorite ever since I discovered it on YouTube, and I like it more than every song on the album except for one. It juxtaposes upbeat vintage pop instrumentals with sarcastic, brilliant lyrics (“I’ve been to Tokyo and to South Africa, so many places that you might say I’ve seen it all, but my favorite place is the warm embrace of holding your hair back in a bathroom stall” is hilarious to me). Brendon’s vocals are also really cheerful and I love the doo-wop style “ba-ba-ba”’s before the first chorus. This is one of my all-time favorite Panic! songs and it deserved so much better.

6. “House of Memories” (Death of a Bachelor)

To be honest, I don’t really care for Death of a Bachelor as an album that much. It’s not as cohesive as the other albums and most of the songs don’t hold up after repeated listens for me. But of course, the album has its standouts, with this being its high point. The song sort of sounds like “Just One Yesterday” by Fall Out Boy, but I like it better (don’t hate me). I love the addition of horns and the swell the production has, and it has some of Brendon’s best vocals to date. The way he belts out the lyrics during the bridge is amazing, and he’s why the bridge in this song is my favorite of all Panic!’s songs (“Nicotine” is a close second”). The lyrics are really introspective and I love the line “And when your fantasies become your legacies, promise me a place in your house of memories”. But above all else, this song is just on here because of that bridge. So good, man.

5. “Far Too Young To Die” (Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!)

Initially I shrugged this one off as mediocre, but with repeated listens, it quickly became one of my favorites off of the album. It’s definitely one of the moodier songs on the album, but I love it so much. Brendon’s known for his insane vocal range and hitting lots of high notes, but in this song he stays in his middle range, focusing more on emotion than hitting high notes. I see this song as being about wanting to have one last moment of passion in a relationship because you never know when it’s going to end. It’s like if YOLO was romantic, and I can’t believe that’s a sentence I actually typed. The instrumental is my favorite thing about the song, especially when the guitars kick in before the final chorus. That part is just eargasmic. The moody atmosphere of this song feels like it would be perfect to listen to when driving at night, and when I get my license, I’m totally going to do that.

4. “Hurricane” (Vices and Virtues)

If you saw my Fall 2017 playlist, you should’ve known this was coming. Pretty much everything I said in that post still stands, so I’m just going to copy and paste it because I am the laziest person on the planet.

“Throughout most of my emo phase, Fall Out Boy were my #1 favorite band, but Panic! At The Disco were a close second. Once I realized I was starting to get sick of Fall Out Boy, I started to become obsessed with Panic! and I still really like them to this day (also I did NOT expect to put this many songs from my emo phase on here lol). This song, "Hurricane", is on their album Vices and Virtues, which is one of my favorites. It's always been my favorite song from the record and it's one I believe is really underrated. It's a slightly dark and maniacal song (there's some evil cackling in the background), but it's infectious and fun to sing along to. You can bet I know all the words.”

3. “But It’s Better If You Do” (A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out)

“But It’s Better If You Do” was the follow-up single to “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”, and while it sounds a lot like its predecessor, I’ve always preferred it. It has a sort of cabaret-vintage vibe to it with some interesting instruments like the accordion and a horn section. The lyrics are about going to a strip club, which is funny because the members of the band were all teenagers and, to quote Brendon Urie, “I don’t even think any of us had been to a strip club when we wrote this song.” Say what you want about the lyrical content, it still is really fun to sing along to with a bunch of great moments. I love the long note Brendon holds after the first chorus and the two claps during the line “Well I may have faked it”, the latter of which I always do when I listen to the song. This is a song I loved instantly, and I have yet to get tired of it. (Also side note: The music video, while not exactly NSFW, is my favorite video the band has ever done. I love the aesthetic, the storyline, and Brendon’s kind-of-horrible New York accent in the skit in the beginning. It’s just so good.)

2. “Time To Dance” (A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out)

6 of the 20 songs on this list are from A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out, which is more than any other album. This is the last one, though, because it’s my favorite. At first, this one wasn’t an absolute favorite, but I did still love it, but one weekend I just listened to it over and over again and fell in love. “Time to Dance” is a fan favorite and a staple of Panic!’s live shows, and it’s one of my goals in life to see this one live. The intro is a blast of guitars and an instantly catchy synth riff, and it keeps that frantic speed throughout the entire song. Like many of the songs on Fever, it has a sort of Broadway-esque melody that is incredibly fun to sing along to. The song structure is also really interesting, in that it doesn’t really have a true chorus, more like a few mini-hooks. My absolute favorite part is the line “When I say ‘Shotgun’, you say ‘wedding’! Shotgun wedding! Shotgun wedding!” It’s just so much fun to scream. The lyrics are inspired by the book Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk, which is a book I’ve never read, but if I do, it will be because of this song, and only because of this song. This song is so close to being my #1, but so far. So what is #1?

1. “Collar Full” (Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!)

Obviously, I love “Time To Dance”, and I love every other song on this list, but none of them compare to my love of “Collar Full”. I like to think I’ve been able to sum up why I love most of these songs in a few sentences, but I’m going to have to try extra-hard to not write an essay about what this song means to me. I’m willing to admit that there are probably better songs lyrically and musically, as well as more creative and original ones in the Panic! catalogue, but there are, like, three songs in existence that even come close to giving me the euphoria that I get from “Collar Full”. Back in early 2016 when I first started getting into Panic!, this was a close second for my favorite song from the band (my #1 was “Ready To Go (Get Me Out Of My Mind)” for a short period of time, and that song was a contender for this list but fell short). But after a few listens, I decided I liked “Collar Full” more and I never looked back. I feel like I’ve brought up that the songs from Too Weird are all 80s-esque many times, but one thing I should bring up is that this one was specifically inspired by “Take On Me” by A-ha, which makes so much sense to me. Of course my favorite Panic! song is inspired by my favorite 80s song! The song has lots of cool synths, and as soon as I hear the twinkling opening, the biggest smile appears on my face. The lyrics are pretty much fluff, but I find them adorable. “If you’re gonna be the death of me, that’s how I wanna go” is just...awww. Brendon sounds great as always, and I specifically love the way he sings the bridge in a more low-key way, which really adds to the emotions in the song. The best way to describe the song is like if you combined the 80s vibes of “Shut Up And Dance” by Walk The Moon with the lovestruck ecstacy of “Into You” by Ariana Grande (both of which are all-time favorites for me), then threw in a hint of the unique flair only Panic! At The Disco should bring. Some people might overlook it since it wasn’t a single, but I’m not one of those people, and I will gladly write an essay about why it’s not just my favorite Panic! At The Disco song, but one of my top 5 favorite songs ever.

Whew, we’re finally done here. I’m going to congratulate myself for not being too wordy (although I got a little carried away in the end), but I’ll admit that more than any other post, this is probably going to be the one I look back on and cringe at. Still, I’m proud of this, and I liked getting to go back into my emo-nerdy side. Next week’s post will be the collab, which I’m really excited for! It’s different from anything I’ve ever done, but I think it’ll be a fun one. I’m Stellar in Neverland and I’ll see you next week. Peace!

Stellar

First Impressions #5- Songs That Deserve More Recognition...Or Do They?

Hi, I'm Stellar, and welcome to Stellar in Neverland, where I'm doing another music post today!

Sounds good...unless you're getting annoyed by me posting about music so often. Which I completely understand, btw. But to quote Demi Lovato...sorry not sorry. I like writing about music and will continue to do so for as long as I write this blog. 

Today's post is the sixth installment of my First Impressions series, and it will probably be the last for a while. I feel like I've done First Impressions a lot in a short amount of time and I don't want it to be overkill. This one is similar to two other posts I've done (think of them as a trilogy) called Songs I Don't Know The Names Of (Apparently?) and More Songs I Don't Know The Name Of, seeing as they were all inspired by videos from KM TV, a channel that makes music-related lists. I don't actually watch their videos all that much but I occasionally watch them when I'm bored. The inspiration for this post is the video Songs That Deserve More Recognition (2017), which intrigued me based on the title alone. I always like discovering new music, and it's interesting to see which songs could have been hits but weren't, for whatever reason. Like with all the other First Impressions posts, the concept is simple. I listen to a bunch of songs I've never heard (usually with a few exceptions), give my opinions on them, and rate them from 1 (meaning I despise it) to 10 (meaning I adore it). If it's an album, I'll add up all of my scores for each individual song, find the average, and see if it's anything close to how I really feel about the song.

Before we begin, here is a list of songs featured in the video that I've already talked about in other posts, along with the scores I gave to them. If you would like to see me go into detail about each, click the links.
Songs Talked About In First Impressions #1- Songs I Don't Know The Names Of (Apparently?)
"Rainbow" by Kesha (9.5/10)
"Rich Love" by OneRepublic ft. Seeb (8/10)
"Broken Glass" by Rachel Platten (7.5/10)
"My Love" by Wale ft. Major Lazer, Wizkid, and Dua Lipa (9/10)
Songs Talked About In First Impressions #3- More Songs I Don't Know The Name Of
"World Gone Mad" by Bastille (8/10)
"Inspired" by Miley Cyrus (7/10)
"Again" by Noah Cyrus ft. XXXTentacion (6/10)
Songs Talked About In First Impressions #4/Album Review #3- Taylor Swift's Reputation
"Call It What You Want" by Taylor Swift (8.5/10)

#1. "The Other Side" by Alessia Cara
Alessia Cara is an up-and-coming singer-songwriter who's had quite a few hits already, but really hasn't become an A-lister yet. Her first single "Here" and her collaboration with Zedd, "Stay", were both really good, but everything else has been disappointing for me. It's a shame, because she has one of the most unique and captivating voices in music. "The Other Side" is actually a cover of a song from the Netflix original series The Get-Down (I haven't heard the original), and it's just another generic soundtrack song. Alessia sounds great, and the key change at the end was appreciated, but the lyrics and instrumental aren't really interesting to me. There are better songs on this list, which you'll see as this post goes on. 7/10
#2. "Ciao Adios" by Anne-Marie
"Rockabye" by Clean Bandit is my only previous experience with British singer Anne-Marie, but I like that song, so I guess it's okay. In that song, I thought she sounded almost exactly like Sia, and I can hear that in this song, but not as much. This song feels more like something Dua Lipa would do than anything. It has the sassy kiss-off tone and tropical vibe found in a lot of Dua's work. If you like "New Rules", you will like this song. The pre-chorus has a really good melody, and the chorus is an immediate earworm. Anne-Marie sounds confident, and her delivery is fitting for the lyrics. The lyrics are blunt and even funny in some parts. This song sounds like it could've been a hit, but I'm not too bitter it wasn't. It's good, but not AMAZING. 7.5/10
#3. "Drugs" by August Alsina
I've vaguely heard of August Alsina, meaning I'm pretty sure he's done something with Nicki Minaj, but I can't tell you what it's called. Apparently he's an R&B guy, sort of like Chris Brown. I'm picky about my R&B, so I went in this hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst. And this song is more of a "worst" than a "best" for me. It's not the worst song I've ever heard, but I don't care for it at all. Something about August Alsina's tone of voice just turns me off. It sounds really whiny to me. The beat isn't anything special, sounding more sludgy than anything. And the biggest problem is, of course, the lyrics. When I talked about Reputation by Taylor Swift, specifically the song "Don't Blame Me", I went on a rant about songs that compare love to drugs. It is such an overused metaphor and I pray for the days when songwriters stop using it. This song is completely built around that metaphor, and it loses points from me for that. 4/10
#4. "Trainwreck" by Banks
I've heard of Banks maybe once or twice (I'm pretty sure she's one of those alternative bubbling-under girls like Lana Del Rey or Lorde, although not as famous), but this is my first time listening to her. And my first impression is that this song is wonky. The production is a little cluttered, but it matches the angry tone of the lyrics. This song is about an ex Banks had to help during his darkest times, and despite that, he let her go. It's the soundtrack to her somewhat losing her mind because of the breakup, and it's angry and pretty epic. Banks conveys a lot of rage in her vocals, and the way she sings the chorus is like a hypnotic chant. This is a weird, weird song, but it's pretty good, honestly. 8/10
#5. "I Got You" by Bebe Rexha
This song peaked at #43 on the Billboard Hot 100, which surprised me because I thought it was a lot bigger than that. I listened to a bunch of year-end mashups of the biggest hits of 2017, and this song has appeared in nearly every one of them, even though it apparently wasn't that big of a hit? Plus I heard it on the radio a lot earlier in the year and I'm pretty sure it's in some commercials. As for my opinion on the song, it's one of those songs that's kind of horrible but I like anyway. It's really repetitive and Bebe's voice is honestly pretty annoying. I guess I just like it because the beat sounds nice and the chorus is ungodly-catchy. Once you listen to it, it'll be stuck in your head for hours. This song is just a guilty pleasure for me. 8/10
#6. "Versace On The Floor" by Bruno Mars
I've actually heard this song before numerous times, and I've been in love with it since I first heard it last summer. It is a travesty that Bruno Mars's previous singles from this album, "24K Magic" and "That's What I Like", both of which are fine songs but tried way too hard to recreate "Uptown Funk", were huge hits, while this excellent, sensual callback to R&B slow jams of years past that actually tried to do something creative flopped. This is one of the sexiest songs I've ever heard, and Bruno Mars's voice just oozes with passion and charisma. The song has a sensual atmosphere with the instrumental and melody, and the key change just adds to the drama. And the fact that the music video stars Zendaya, who is one of my favorite celebrities (shameless plug) and an all-around queen is the cherry on the top. Of the many Bruno Mars songs I've heard, this is my favorite, and yes, I am extremely bitter it wasn't as successful as some of his other songs. 10/10
#7. "Rhythm Inside" by Calum Scott
It's always fun to do songs by artists I've never heard of in these posts, because not only does it serve as a first impression of the artist, but it's also a first impression of the artist. My first impression of this song is that it's pretty good. The beat and production are probably the highlight of this song, because it sounds GREAT. It has some pretty cool synths mixed with strings for an interesting and upbeat effect. Calum Scott has a unique voice and it fits with the production well. He sounds sort of like if you combined Adam Levine's voice with Sam Smith's. The lyrics are about having an uncontrollable feeling of giddiness around a person you love, and they're not bad, but they're not great either. The main line in the chorus of "It feels like I could be the one for your love" just feels odd, like they could've phrased it a different way. This song is pretty good, but it's missing that one element to push it over the top and make it great. 7.5/10
#8. "I Have Questions" by Camila Cabello
I didn't expect this. As soon as I realized it was Camila Cabello doing a ballad, I got nervous. I mean, yeah, I love "Havana", but I still think she's a really weak, oftentimes annoying vocalist. But damn, this hits hard. The production is minimal, appropriately leaving space to showcase the vocals and lyrics. Camila's nasally vocal tone works unexpectedly well for this song, and her performance is extremely emotional. You can feel her pain, especially when she sings "I gave you all of me, my blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears, why don't you care? Why don't you care?" The lyrics are also really relatable for anyone who's ever felt like they've been hurt or betrayed for someone. And let's be honest, most of us can relate to feeling like that. Being hurt isn't fun, but when you're hurt by someone you previously loved, it's even more painful and often baffling, and Camila expresses that sentiment beautifully. 9/10
#9. "Cut To The Feeling" by Carly Rae Jepsen
You all remember that big hit from 2012, "Call Me Maybe", right? Well, the woman behind it, Carly Rae Jepsen, has continued to make music after it that isn't as successful as "Call Me Maybe", but probably should be. "Cut To The Feeling" is some top-tier bubblegum pop that should've been massive. It was featured in the animated movie Leap! and the commercials for it (where I've heard snippets, but not the full song), and in a better world, it would've been as successful as "Can't Stop The Feeling" by Justin Timberlake from the Trolls movie. This is one of the happiest songs I can think of, with shiny '80s-style synths and Carly sounding very joyous and passionate in her performance. The lyrics are about the highs of being in love, and that's what it feels like. The bridge where she sings "Take me to emotion, I want to go all the way" is the best part of the song. I can definitely see this taking up a spot in my playlist, and even though I haven't heard it in full until now, I'm bitter it wasn't successful. 9.5/10
#10. "Quit" by Cashmere Cat ft. Ariana Grande
I'm honestly embarrassed that I haven't listened to this song until now. Not only am I a massive fan of Ariana Grande (see my Dangerous Woman review for proof...yes more shameless promo), but her previous collaboration with DJ Cashmere Cat, "Be My Baby" is my absolute favorite song of hers. Yes, I like it even more than "Greedy" or "Into You", which if you've read that review, you'd know is not an easy feat. "Quit" doesn't match the unbelievably high standards I have from "Be My Baby", but it still is a GORGEOUS song. Ariana is as angelic as ever in this song, opting for her lower range over the high belts she's known for. She shows restraint, which is fitting seeing as she's just a guest, but she still manages to sound stunning, especially with that outro. The production is interesting and creative, with this one synth choice that sounds like an auto-tuned flute and is better than you'd ever expect that to be. I also really like how the drop is simple but still catchy. The lyrics talk about a guy whom Ariana's peers say is bad for her, but she can't let him go, sort of similar to Ariana's hit "Side To Side". The Genius page for this song says Sia co-wrote it, which I found pretty interesting. Call me biased, but this is one of the best songs on this entire list. 9.5/10
#11. "Save It Til Morning" by Fergie
Like with the past installments of this series, I didn't listen to these songs in this order, that's just the order they're listed in the video. This was the last song I listened to, but I didn't go with the saying "save the best for last". If anything, this is one of the lesser songs in this post. Fergie has a good voice, but her music is either pop-rap that tries way too hard (except "Fergalicious", which is a so-bad-it's-good classic) or melodramatic yet boring ballads. "Save It Til Morning" definitely falls in the second category, trying way too hard to recreate "Big Girls Don't Cry" from over a decade ago. This song sounds almost exactly like that one. Fergie also sounds like she's oversinging way too hard, like she's doing a bad Christina Aguilera impression. The lyrics are boring, and the song just overall isn't memorable. I won't be able to recall how it goes unless I listen to it again. 5.5/10
#12. "I Don't Know Why" by Imagine Dragons
Back when "Radioactive" and "Demons" were huge hits, I was really into Imagine Dragons. That love has shrunk over time, probably because I got sick of them. They have some good songs, but a lot of their music is samey-sounding. "I Don't Know Why" is probably the best song I've heard from them in a while. It sounds more like a pop song than a rock song, but I still really like how it sounds. I like the twinkling synthesizers, the guitar interjections, and the thudding drums in the chorus. The lead singer also sounds pretty good. I don't always like this band, but I like the guy's voice. The chorus is catchy, but a little too repetitive for my liking, and the bridge, which consists of whisper-chanting "tell me that you love me" is straight-up weird. This song is fine and one of the better songs I've heard from Imagine Dragons, but I'm not crazy about it. 6.5/10
#13. "Uh Huh" by Julia Michaels
I don't like being negative at all, but I have to be honest with myself. This song had potential. The production is really good, mixing rugged acoustic guitars with upbeat pianos. It's a low-key banger. The lyrics are also fine, talking about how despite knowing she should take it slow in the relationship, Julia's heart wants to speed through it. It's also really catchy. But everything good I have to say about this song is overshadowed by the vocals, which I cannot stand. She muffles through the verses, only to (very annoyingly) crack her voice multiple times throughout the chorus. One of my brother's best friends does this one impression of a boy going through puberty, and it's very annoying. That's what Julia Michaels sounds like to me in this song. Give it to a better singer and I'd probably love this, but as it is now, it's a no from me. 5/10
#14. "Love So Soft" by Kelly Clarkson
I was surprised to see this here, because this song gets quite a bit of airplay where I live. I thought it did pretty well on the charts. Kelly Clarkson was one of the first artists I remember listening to as a kid, and I loved songs like "Since U Been Gone" and "Behind These Hazel Eyes". It's cool to see that she's still doing music, even if her new music is different in sound from the songs of my childhood. Those songs were pop-rock, but "Love So Soft" is a combination of soul and trap (that is honestly a lot better than it sounds). The contrast between the horns and the trap beats makes the song unique, and the lyrics are pretty good. But of course, the star of the show is Kelly's vocals. She's probably one of my favorite vocalists ever. I don't listen to her music all that much anymore, but her voice has always been and always will be incredible. The high notes in this song are soulful and just straight-up bliss to the ears, and it's why the song works for me. 8/10
#15. "Meaning of Life" by Kelly Clarkson
Surprise! There are two Kelly Clarkson songs here! I'm personally not complaining, because both songs are really good, especially "Meaning of Life". "Love So Soft" is a soul-trap hybrid, but "Meaning of Life" takes the soul elements up to 11 and is pure, soulful magic. It has a doo-wop/gospel sound that works amazingly with Kelly's vocals. Kelly sounds absolutely incredible here, showing off her powerful, gritty belted range and flawless falsetto. The horns and gospel-choir harmonizations are also awesome. The lyrics are about how she's really found love, and they're cute. My favorite line is "All I do is think of you and I, suddenly the wrongs, they start to feel so right". This is a great midtempo song and proof that Kelly Clarkson is one of the best vocalists of our time. God, I just really love her voice. 8.5/10
#16. "LOVE." by Kendrick Lamar ft. Zacari
This is the first of the two songs in this list called "Love", but to be fair, this one is officially titled "LOVE.", all capitalized with a period like the other songs on Kendrick Lamar's megahit album DAMN. I've only heard two songs from that album, "HUMBLE." and "DNA.", but I really love both of those songs. "LOVE." isn't as good as those two, but it still is pretty great. It's also different from the other two, because "HUMBLE." and "DNA." are bangers and "LOVE." is more of a ballad. The beat is soft and unexpectedly pretty, and featured guest Zacari has some gorgeous and melodic falsetto on the hook. In this song, Kendrick is asking his lover if she'd still love him no matter what, and the lyrics are actually pretty sweet. My favorite lyric is "I'm with it only for the night, I'm kidding, only for life, you're a homie for life", which is just cute. I can see myself having this song on repeat in the future. 9/10
#17. "Woman" by Kesha ft. The Dap-Kings Horns
I've talked about my love of Kesha in a few other posts (the first First Impressions post and the Fall 2017 playlist), especially her newest music. If "Praying" and "Rainbow" were an emotional contrast to her old music, "Woman" combines the attitude from her old music with a soul-funk sound. The Genius page for this song says Kesha was outraged by Donald Trump's infamous comments about women, so she wrote this, a seriously awesome female empowerment anthem. The lyrics don't even try to hide what this song is about, with Kesha belting "I'm a motherf**king woman, baby, alright, I don't need a man to be holding me too tight" in the chorus. She sounds confident and unapologetic, and even gets to show off with some solid falsetto vocal runs. My favorite part is when she sings "loosey as a goosey and we're looking for some fun", but can't sing it without busting out laughing. The instrumental is also really good, with the bright horns and funky guitar adding to the attitude of the whole thing. This song is just a ton of fun. 9.5/10
#18. "Dearly Beloved" by Kiesza
For whatever reason, the production on this song reminds me of old-school hip-hop. I think it's just from the drum pattern. This song also has some pretty cool guitar parts, a key change (yay!), and some excellent vocals from Kiesza. Her vocals are unique yet familiar, and she sounds more emotional as the song progresses. The Genius page says Kiesza wrote this song as a dedication to her best friend, who sadly passed away from leukemia. I was tempted to describe the lyrics as somewhat generic at first, but after I read that, I changed my mind. They make a lot more sense knowing the tragic context of the song, and you can feel the pain and devotion. My favorite thing about this song (besides the key change) is how it's happy musically but sad lyrically. I just find those kinds of songs cool and interesting. 7.5/10
#19. "This Town" by Kygo ft. Sasha Sloan
TBH, I think the only reason why this song didn't take off is because we already had a big hit this year called "This Town", which was the debut solo single from One Direction's Niall Horan. Although, if I'm being honest, I like this song a lot more than the Niall song. Kygo is a DJ whom you might know from "It Ain't Me", the hit collaboration with Selena Gomez that was one of my favorite songs of 2017. "This Town" isn't as good as "It Ain't Me", but it's still a nice, relaxing song. It's interesting because I expected this song to build up to a climactic drop, but it doesn't. It keeps the same slow, calm pace for the entirety of its runtime. Featured vocalist Sasha Sloan sounds almost exactly like Selena Gomez, except better because she actually stays on key and has a sense of pitch. The lyrics are about wanting to get out of the small town you grew up in with your lover, and I can relate to the feeling of wanting to escape. This won't be one of my most-played songs, but I'll turn to it when I just want to relax. 8/10
#20. "Dancin' In Circles" by Lady Gaga
Well, this song is about something I'm not going to talk about due to the fact that my parents and a few of my teachers read this blog. Let's just say it's about...self-love. Because of the lyrical content, I feel awkward listening to it, but I still kinda like it. The production is creative and unlike anything Gaga's ever done. It's like if you combined country music with tropical house, and there are some weird noises thrown in the end. This song also has quite a few different hooks, and they're all pretty catchy. Plus, Gaga herself sounds amazing. I think she's a really underrated vocalist, because everybody knows who she is, but people are still surprised by how well she can sing. There's this one part at the end where she belts "DANCING IN CIRCLES, FEELS GOOD TO BE LONELY!" in this raw and powerful voice, and she sounds great. I love me some Gaga, and despite the lyrics, I think I'll keep this one in my playlist. 8/10
#21. "Love" by Lana Del Rey
Lana Del Rey is one of those artists I wish I liked more than I do. She's very talented and I adore her aesthetic, but most of her music just puts me to sleep. My favorite song by her is that "Summertime Sadness" remix that got big a few years ago, and I actually feel bad about that. "Love" (the other song with that title in this post) is probably my new favorite song of hers. It's not as good as Kendrick's "LOVE.", but it's beautiful. It has a bombastic and cinematic yet calming atmosphere to it, and Lana's vocals are gorgeous. The lyrics are surprisingly positive compared to Lana's previous work, with my favorite line being "Seen so much, you could get the blues, but that don't mean that you should abuse it." I'm still not a huge fan of most of Lana's music, but if she makes more music in this vein, that might change. 8.5/10
#22. "Is Your Love Enough?" by Little Mix
I've said it before, but Little Mix are another artist (or rather artists, seeing as they're a girl group) that I wish I liked more than I do. They're insanely talented vocalists and performers, but their music just doesn't live up to their talents. Not to say that they don't have their fair share of good songs ("Black Magic", "Wings", and "Touch" are all really solid pop jams), but "Is Your Love Enough?" is generic. I mean, the girls sound excellent as expected, but really, what else is there? The production is uninteresting tropical house, although the Latin-inspired guitars were a good choice. The lyrics aren't anything you couldn't get from any other pop-girl song. Little Mix continue to be the epitome of "wasted potential" for me, but I still have hope they'll make something amazing. They're too talented for stuff like this. 6/10
#23. "Perfect Places" by Lorde
I have a weird relationship with Lorde's music. Back when "Royals" came out, my mom HATED it, so I sort of felt like I had to hate it too, as well as Lorde herself. I've never really gotten over that weird bias, and it sucks because she's an extremely talented lyricist with an interesting voice and unmistakable style. I tried to overlook that bias when listening to "Perfect Places", and I'm glad, because this is a really good alt-pop song. It's about how she wants to find a better reality when the world is turning to crap, and there are some really clever lines here. My favorite part is when she sings "I'll blow my brains out to the radio", then pantomimes a gun clicking. I thought that was clever. Lorde also sounds great, especially in the outro, where she explores her lower range. The production and melodies are also really great, and this song has a sort of magical vibe appropriate for the optimism of the lyrics. I hope to listen to more of Lorde's music in the future and see if I can eventually call myself a fan. 8.5/10
#24. "Everything" by Miriam Bryant
This is the only song on the list not on Spotify, so right off the bat, it gets points off for making me do extra work. Just kidding. Miriam Bryant is another artist in this post that I've never heard of, and this first impression is actually pretty solid. It's a breakup song, which means there are a ton of directions it could go in. This is more of a sad breakup song, like a lament, but it's not boring or dreary at all. The production is really nice-sounding, almost twinkling in a way. The lyrics are also pretty solid, especially the line "We're just a photograph wasting away of a night on a dance floor in May". Vocally, Miriam Bryant reminds me of Tove Lo, although her voice is a little deeper. She's soulful and she sells the emotions of the song well. This is a strong breakup song, but I'll probably never listen to it again because it's not on Spotify. 8/10
#25. "No Frauds" by Nicki Minaj ft. Drake and Lil Wayne
Last year, Nicki Minaj had a beef with fellow female rapper Remy Ma, and I can't tell you much about it because I don't care about celebrity beefs all that much. I bring this up because "No Frauds" is widely believed to be a diss track towards Remy Ma. I like Nicki, but this falls flat for me. The chorus is catchy, but there's some really obvious auto-tune I could've gone without and the beat is generic. I also think Nicki should've been the only one on this song. Drake and Wayne both provide filler verses, and they don't talk about the beef in question at all. The one bright spot is Nicki's verse, which has some pretty fire bars in response to Remy. My personal favorite is "You can't be Pablo if your work ain't selling", which is a reference to druglord Pablo Escobar (whom Remy references in some of her songs) and a clever way to call her out for her music flopping. I expected this song to be better because I like Nicki and I expected the entire thing to just be fire, but only part of it is. 6/10
#26. "No Vacancy" by OneRepublic
I don't know that many songs by OneRepublic, but I like most of the ones I've heard, so I guess I'd feel confident in saying I like them. This isn't the best song I've heard from them, nor is it better than "Rich Love" from last post, but it's still pretty good. Like that Imagine Dragons song earlier, this is a song by a rock (well, pop-rock) band, but it doesn't sound like that at all. This is some straight-up tropical pop, and it's really well-composed. The lyrics are pretty minimal and repetitive, so I'm not gonna really talk about them. The melodies, hooks, and instrumentation are all pretty strong, though. The vocals are also mostly falsetto, but it's a pretty good falsetto. I still haven't heard a better song by OneRepublic than "Feel Again" (a song which is tragically underrated, I might add), but "No Vacancy" is still decent enough. 7.5/10
#27. "Ahead of Myself" by X Ambassadors
I only know a few songs by X Ambassadors, and from what I've heard, they just seem like a lesser Imagine Dragons. I guess they have potential, but the songs I know from them don't click with me. The production on this one has some cool elements in it. I like the pianos and the gospel vocals in the song's climax. The lead singer's voice has a rich, earthy tone to it, and he does some pretty good falsetto in the chorus. The lyrics are a bit generic and really repetitive. Honestly, it's like I said about "Rhythm Inside": it lacks that one special element to make it something amazing. It's pleasant, but it goes in one ear and out the other. 6/10
#28. "Dark Side" by Phoebe Ryan
I read that Phoebe Ryan featured on a Chainsmokers song, "All We Know", which makes sense, because the production on this one is definitely reminiscent of the Chainsmokers. I like the hints of guitar that come in throughout, like in the bridge. The bridge is where she strips everything back to just the guitar, and it's probably the best part of the song. Phoebe's a decent singer, but her voice has this high-pitched, childlike quality that some might find annoying. The lyrics are about loving someone who's bad for you, and although there are some decent lines, they feel a little underwritten, especially the chorus. This song is passable, but it's a little generic and I can't see myself coming back to it anytime soon. Sorry. 6.5/10
#29. "Perfect For You" by Rachel Platten
These videos have a lot of Rachel Platten in them, Jesus Christ. This is the third one of her songs I've talked about, and it's okay. My first thought is that this sounds like Rachel tried to remake "Attention" by Charlie Puth. The verses and prechorus don't sound like that song, but the bassline in the chorus sounds almost exactly like that of "Attention". Also like "Attention", "Perfect For You" is a kiss-off, contrary to what the title will make you think. One of the big lyrics in the chorus is "Tired of tryin' to be perfect for you", which is a pretty straightforward diss. The bridge is the best part, showcasing some soulful falsetto and higher belted notes I didn't expect from Rachel at all. This song is pretty decent, but my favorite song from Rachel Platten will probably always be "Stand By You". Just saying. 7/10
#30. "Obsession" by Vice ft. Jon Bellion
I only know one of the artists on this song, and that's Jon Bellion. I know him from the hit single "All Time Low", which I had on repeat last spring. And honestly, this song is even better. This song sounds like "What Lovers Do" by Maroon 5 and SZA, and although I like that song a fair bit, this is somehow an even better version of it. The production is upbeat, groovy (I hate that word, but honestly it fits here), and has a little bit of a disco vibe. Jon Bellion sings most of the song in a falsetto that isn't even that good if I'm being honest, but it actually works really well for the song. The lyrics are about being obsessed with a girl, and I think it's cool how each verse starts with "2 AM...", then "3 AM", then "4 AM". This is a really catchy and fun song, and I can see it becoming a mainstay on my Spotify. The only negative thing I have to say is that I wish I had discovered it in the summer, because this just sounds like a summer jam. 9.5/10
#31. "Waterfall" by Stargate ft. Pink and Sia
This song is a duet from two megastars (Pink and Sia), and it was produced by Stargate, who have written huge hits like "Firework" by Katy Perry, "Diamonds" by Rihanna, "Worth It" by Fifth Harmony, and "Come & Get It" by Selena Gomez. Regardless of quality, I'm shocked the song didn't chart based off of star power alone! The song itself is good, but it feels a little underwhelming considering the star power. Both of the ladies on this track are strong vocalists, and while this isn't either of their best performances, they still sound pretty great. The production has a tropical influence and it sounds pretty cool. The lyrics sound like Sia wrote them, which can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you feel about her lyrical style. The main problem I have with this song is the chorus. It's literally just the lyric, "I'm in your waterfall" repeated over and over, and it feels really lazy. The song is decent, but I hope these two collaborate again on a better song. 7/10

I'm gonna try something different and find the average for each list of songs in this "series". I already found the averages for the first two. The first list's average is 6.8/10 and the second list's is 7.1/10, which surprised me because I thought I liked the songs in the first edition better. This song got an average of 7.6/10, which is higher than both. That doesn't surprise me, because I felt like I was a lot more positive in this post. Yeah, I only gave one 10/10, compared to two each from the other two posts, but I gave a lot of scores of 8/10, 8.5/10, 9/10, and 9.5/10. In addition, the lowest score I gave was a 4/10, which is higher than either of my lowest scores for the other two (3.5/10 and 3/10, respectively), and I only had a few songs I was just meh on. This was definitely the strongest collection of songs in any of these lists.

Now time for the fun part, where I list my recommendations. Here is every song I gave an 8.5/10 or higher, can fully recommend, and will add to my playlist, sorted from highest score to lowest.
10/10:
"Versace on the Floor"
9.5/10:
"Cut To The Feeling"
"Quit"
"Woman"
"Obsession"
9/10
"I Have Questions"
"LOVE."
8.5/10
"Meaning of Life"
"Love"
"Perfect Places"

This was fun. I discovered some AMAZING songs that definitely deserve more recognition and ones I hope to listen to until I get sick of them. Next week, I'm hopefully going to be doing a collaboration, but if that doesn't work out, I have some other stuff planned. I'm Stellar in Neverland, and I'll see you next Wednesday. Peace!

Stellar

The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland #1- The Assembly

Hi, I'm Stellar, and welcome to Stellar in Neverland. The intro for this one is going to be relatively short for once, mainly because I just really want to get started with the rest of the post! In the preamble of last week's post, I mentioned that I wanted to start writing a series of short stories called The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland, but I didn't know exactly when I would start. Well, it turns out that I decided to start them right after that post! The series is an alternate universe of my life, and basically what would happen if my life were on steroids. The characters are mostly inspired by people I know in real life, with Catalina (my Bitmoji and the "face" of my blog) being a slightly altered version of myself. However, the events that happen to them, as you'll see, are weirder than anything that happens in my life. This one is inspired by a daydream I had in class one day that I personally thought was hilarious, so I decided to write a story about it. I don't have a schedule planned for when I'll write The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland. It will probably just come whenever I get ideas for it. So with that being said, I present to you: The Assembly.

Think of this as the cover artwork if this were a book. 

It was just another Friday morning at Neverland High School. Other than the fact that all of the students were exhausted due to the insane amount of tests our teachers decided to throw at us the previous two days, it was completely expected. Personally, I was just anxious to get the hell out of there. My name is Catalina Lily Taylor, I'm sixteen years old, and I live in a town that is literally named after the fictional location in Peter Pan where children go to avoid growing up. I like to think my hometown is pretty normal, but the fact that it is a town called Neverland proves otherwise. I'm a sophomore at Neverland High School, and it's not horrible as far as high schools go unless we're talking about biology. I like most of my teachers, I get good grades, I have the best best friends known to man, and nothing really embarrassing or out-of-the-ordinary happens here. Until today.

My best friends are Penelope Schuyler, who is best known for being a New York Times-bestselling author at the ripe old age of 16, and William Mason, who is not a bestselling author but is still pretty cool nonetheless. We have gym class first hour, and we were all waiting for class to start. We talked for a little bit about how awful testing was yesterday and our plans for the weekend. At 7:55, the bell rang and we all said the Pledge of Allegiance. We don't have any morning announcements, so we were shocked to hear our principal, Mr. Espinoza, continue to speak after reciting the pledge. All he said was "There will be a schoolwide assembly at 2:30 today, so please come to the gym after seventh hour."

The rest of our classmates were confused as to what the assembly could be about. When Mrs. Wallace, my gym teacher, arrived, Will asked her if she knew what the assembly was about. She told us she was just as confused as the rest of us, and she would let us know if she found out anything. We then started our regular gym class, which consisted of some working out in the cardio room before we started playing basketball. It wasn't fun, but the conversations we all had about the mystery of the assembly were.

We then went to second hour band, where the assembly was still a hot topic. I think about five kids brought it up to the entire class, and who knows how many side conversations about it went on in between songs? Mrs. Ellison, our director, was unsure about what the assembly was for, but they did tell her we didn't have to play anything for pep band. A few of my band friends looked disappointed, but most of the band (myself included) was relieved.

My third class of the day and my last before lunch is geometry with Mr. Fitzpatrick. Guess what the topic that had the class talking was? No, it wasn't actual geometry, it was the assembly. Mr. Fitzpatrick had to ask us ten times to stop talking about it, and he told us he didn't know anything about it either. He seemed sort of uneasy about the whole thing, but I just ignored it.

Rumors about what the assembly was about spread through the cafeteria like wildfire during lunch. Penelope said a few people from her biology class thought it was to educate us about teen pregnancy and Will claimed he heard from a kid in his health class whom he was not particularly fond of that the assembly was for a teacher to come out as gay. My personal favorite assembly theory was one I heard from one of the stoners whose locker happens to be near mine. She claimed it was to announce that Mr. Espinoza was retiring and Snoop Dogg would take his place as principal, as well as president of the world. None of the theories I had heard were plausible, but that one was so out there it was hysterical.

A few other classes occurred in my schedule before we got to English with Mr. Lambert. This wasn't noteworthy because we pondered about the assembly, because we'd done that in every other class. No, English was noteworthy because Mr. Lambert was the first person, other than Mr. Espinoza, who claimed to know what the assembly was about. He didn't tell us anything else about it, which irritated us immensely. Penelope asked him if he actually knew or if he was just pulling our leg. He said he did actually know, but had sworn to secrecy. This made us even more anxious to know what would happen, and it made seventh hour Spanish hell. The suspense of knowing we had one more hour left before all of our questions would be answered made it so nothing in Spanish was accomplished and about halfway through the hour, our teacher, Mrs. Kirk, reluctantly let us talk about it for the rest of the period.

After Spanish, the entire school rushed to the madhouse that was the gym. We were so close, yet so far to all of our answers in life (sort of) being answered. Would the assembly be something practical, or would it be ridiculous like my stoner locker neighbor claimed? Would it be worthwhile? And most importantly, did Mr. Lambert have a role in the whole thing?

Once the entire school was seated in the bleachers, a pair of giant red velvet curtains blocked out the middle of the gym so we couldn't see. This added to the confusion. Sitting between Will and Penelope, I asked them, "Don't you think giant curtains are a little over-the-top for whatever the assembly is?" Penelope nodded, then shushed me as the entire gym went pitch-black. The entire gym went silent. Suddenly, a giant, blinding spotlight appeared. Nobody said a word but we could all feel the suspense and hoped that something amazing was going to happen. Suddenly, we heard a familiar guitar intro. What guitar intro, you might ask? Why, that of "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction, a classic amongst my generation! As the song began, the curtains opened to reveal something that was both scarring and wonderful at the same time. My friends and I bust out laughing at the sight of it, and we weren't alone.

Okay, I've built up enough suspense, and I know you're biting your nails wondering what we saw. I guess I should just stop rambling and tell you. We saw Mr. Lambert, Mr. Fitzpatrick, and Mr. Herman (my geography teacher from last year) dressed in matching tracksuits doing incredibly cheesy choreography to the One Direction song. Mr. Espinoza announced them as "your new favorite boy band, H-F-L!" I cried from laughing so hard.

Mr. Fitzpatrick began singing first:
"You're insecure, don't know what for
You're turning heads when you walk through the door
Don't need makeup to cover up
Being the way that you are is enough"

"Maybe this is why Fitzpatrick was so uneasy about my class talking about the assembly!" I whispered to Will and Penelope.

Mr. Herman continued:
"Everyone else in the room can see it,
Everyone else but you"

Then, all three of them semi-harmonized in the chorus:
"Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell
You don't know, oh oh, you don't know you're beautiful
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know, you don't know you're beautiful
That's what makes you beautiful!"

Penelope and I belted along to my heart's content, as did a plethora of my classmates. I could tell Will was judging the both of us, but I didn't care. To be completely honest, it's not that the three teachers were particularly great singers, because they weren't. I'm no singing expert, but even I could tell they went off-key quite a few times, and they sounded like a group of drunken frat boys trying to sing karaoke. But it was the novelty of three of the most beloved teachers at Neverland High teaming up to sing a classically cheesy One Direction hit that made it worthwhile. 

They ended "What Makes You Beautiful" after the first chorus. They then transitioned to "Drag Me Down", my six-year-old brother Lennon's favorite One Direction song. I pulled my phone out of my pocket so I could film it for him.

Lambert began the song, singing:
"I've got fire for a heart, I'm not scared of the dark
You've never seen it look so easy
I got a river for a soul, and baby you're a boat
Baby, you're my only reason"

Fitzpatrick then sang the prechorus:
"If I didn't have you there would be nothing left
The shell of a man who could never be his best
If I didn't have you, I'd never see the sun
You taught me how to be someone, yeah"

After that, they all attempted to harmonize for the chorus:
"All my life, you stood by me
When no one else was ever behind me
All these lights, they can't blind me
With your love, nobody can drag me down
All my life, you stood by me
When no one else was ever behind me
All these lights, they can't blind me
With your love, nobody can drag me down
(Nobody, nobody)
​Nobody can drag me down​
(Nobody, nobody)
​Nobody can drag me down​"

This one was funny because of Herman awkwardly singing the "Nobody, nobody" in the chorus. After the chorus, he cheerily announced, "Okay, now we're gonna slow things down. Get close to your boyfriend or girlfriend, if you have one!" Everybody laughed. You could really tell that none of the teachers in the boy band were taking themselves seriously, making the concert´s atmosphere feel warm and inviting. It also made me not feel bad about laughing at my teachers´ bad singing.

Next on their setlist was "Story of My Life", one of One Direction's ballads and a song that my mom has always loved. I decided to continue filming the performance for her sake.

Herman began the first verse:
"Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain
I leave my heart open
But it stays right here empty for days"

Then Fitzpatrick took over:
"She told me in the morning
She don't feel the same about us in her bones
It seems to me that when I die
These words will be written on my stone"

Lambert did the prechorus:
"And I'll be gone, gone tonight
The ground beneath my feet is open wide
The way that I've been holding on too tight
With nothing in between"

The chorus was next, and they did it in unison once again. The harmonies in this one were particularly embarrassing, making them very amusing.
"The story of my life
I take her home
I drive all night
To keep her warm
And time is frozen
The story of my life
I give her hope
I spend her love
Until she's broken inside
The story of my life"

"Okay, now we're doing another throwback. Get excited," Fitzpatrick said, significantly less enthusiastic than Herman was during his introduction. The throwback in question was "Live While We're Young", which Fitzpatrick began, singing:
"Hey girl, I'm waiting on you, I'm waiting on you
Come on and let me sneak you out
And have a celebration, a celebration
The music up, the window's down"

Herman took the prechorus:
"Yeah, we'll be doing what we do
Just pretending that we're cool and we know it too
Yeah, we'll keep doing what we do
Just pretending that we're cool, so tonight"

My phone battery was almost dead so I decided to stop filming after the third song, but the hilariously bad choreography during "Live While We're Young" made me regret that decision. They tried to harmonize for the chorus, but the horrible dancing they were doing made it hard for them to sing, so they mumbled for part of it and belted the other parts. I think Lambert tripped at one point, but I'm pretty sure it was on purpose. It sounded more like: 
"LET'S GO CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY tilweseethesun
Iknowweonlymet BUT LET'S PRETEND IT'S LOVE
Andnevernever NEVER STOP FOR ANYONE
TONIGHT LET'S GET SOME andlivewhilewe'reyoung
And live while we're young
Tonight let's get some
And live while we're young"

"Okay, this is our final song so MAKE SOME NOISE!" Lambert yelled, keeping the energy up. They ended with "Best Song Ever", one of my favorite songs by any artist, believe it or not. Because of my love of this song, I decided to risk my battery and film it. They didn't do any of the verses, just going straight to the bridge, which they awkwardly took turns singing:
(Herman) "You know, I know, you know I'll remember you
And I know, you know, I know you'll remember me"
(Fitzpatrick) "And you know, I know, you know I'll remember you
And I know, you know, I hope you'll remember how we danced, how we danced"

(Lambert, screaming) "1, 2 - 1, 2, 3!"

They screamed the final chorus in unison. In the original song, band member Zayn Malik does this one really high note during the final repetition of "best song ever". Herman attempted to sing the high note in our version...key word being "attempted", because it was not pretty.

"How we danced all night to the best song ever
We knew every line now I can't remember
How it goes but I know that I won't forget her
Cause we danced all night to the best song ever
And we danced all night to the best song ever
We knew every line now I can't remember
How it goes but I know that I won't forget her
Cause we danced all night to the best song ever
I think it went oh, oh, oh
I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah
I think it goes"

After the failure of his high note, Herman sang the outro of the song solemnly and all by himself:

"Best song ever
It was the best song ever
It was the best song ever
It was the best song ever"

After the hilarious concert, the three teachers took a bow while the entirety of the student body and their fellow teachers gave them standing ovations. As if their performance wasn't hilarious enough, they performed a short skit afterwards that made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. 

Fitzpatrick: "Great show, you guys!"

Lambert: "Except for the end when Herman messed up on his high note!"

Fitzpatrick: "Herman, you're out of the band!"

Herman: "Hey, at least I didn't fall on my rear end like an idiot, unlike some people. (pretends to cough) LAMBERT (pretends to cough)"

Fitzpatrick: "Good point. Lambert, you're out of the band too. So now it's just me. Except I resign. Goodbye."

The entire assembly was probably the funniest thing I had ever seen. It was worth an entire day of suspense and craziness from not knowing what the assembly was about. Hell, I'd argue the suspense made it even more worth it! My school can be pretty weird sometimes, and while sometimes it's in a bad way, it's mostly in a good way. The assembly was amazing...but I'm going to struggle to see Fitzpatrick, Herman, or Lambert in any other way afterwards. But that's just me. Anyways, I have somewhere I need to be, so I'll see you next time for more laughs. Catalina out. 

The End

So there you go, the first edition of The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland is here. I'm excited to write more of this series, even if I don't know when the next installment will come out. I see a lot of potential for laughter in it. Next week's post will be the sixth edition of First Impressions, and then the week after I have a really special post planned for you guys...but that's all I'm saying! I'm Stellar in Neverland, signing off, and I'll see you next Wednesday. Peace!

Stellar

REVIEW: Pitch Perfect 3 *Minor Spoilers*

Hi, I'm Stellar, and welcome to Stellar in Neverland...and 2018! That's right, folks, we survived another year on the wasteland known as Earth and have now reached 2018! I think we deserve a Catalina Cameo (which is what I'm calling these from now on) to celebrate:


This year, I'm hoping to start writing The Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland, a series of short stories about my Bitmoji, Catalina. I don't know when I'll start them but they'll be coming at some point this year. The other things you can expect from Stellar in Neverland in 2018 are pretty similar to what I did last year. Random lists and playlists, First Impressions, maybe a few rankings of any given topic from worst to best (that's new lol), and reviews, like today's post. My original plan was to do a 2-in-1 review of Pitch Perfect 3 with The Greatest Showman, but I haven't seen the latter so that's not going to happen. But that's okay, because I still have a lot to say about Pitch Perfect 3. I'm going to break this review down into four different parts, each talking about a different element of the movie: the plot, the acting/characters, the comedy, and the music. I will individually score each element, then average it all out for my overall score and state whether I recommend the movie or not. Now, considering that I ADORE the first two movies in the trilogy, (they made my list of my top 10 favorite movies, link here), I expected to love the newest installment just as much. Did I? I won't say until the end, so let's just get this started.

Image from the movie's Wikipedia page. Also, DISCLAIMER: There are gonna be minor spoilers in this review, so if you haven't seen the movie and don't want to be spoiled, DON'T READ THIS. 

The Plot: The plot was probably the biggest problem I had with the movie. The basic storyline is that the Barden Bellas, an all-female acapella group, have disbanded but decide to get back together because they are miserable in their real world jobs. The father of one of the Bellas (Aubrey, played by Anna Camp) is in the army, so he gives them a way to enter a competition where they get to sing for the troops. The winner gets to open for DJ Khaled, who had a surprisingly large role in the movie. I think DJ Khaled can be funny from time to time, but I'm getting sick of seeing him everywhere and I wish he was limited to a cameo. Other than my slight gripes with DJ Khaled, you're probably thinking that I really didn't have a problem with the plot, right? Well, there's one thing that I forgot to mention: about a third of the way in, Pitch Perfect 3 decides it wants to be a crime-action thriller instead of a light-hearted musical comedy like its predecessors. Fat Amy ( played by Rebel Wilson) is the prime example of a character who is really funny in small doses but just simply isn't strong enough to carry an entire movie. Apparently nobody told the producers this, because they decided to give Fat Amy of all characters a tragic backstory about her spy-criminal father. Her father (played by John Lithgow) finds her on an island in Spain with the Bellas and tries to get closer to her as a means of obtaining the $180 million bank account Amy's mother left for her on a faraway island. Eventually, he kidnaps the Bellas and threatens to kill them as a way to lure Amy to him, which is creepy. Had the movie gone with the conflict I expected from the trailer of the acapella group learning to compete with bands with real instruments, I would've enjoyed the plot a lot more. As it is, the plot gets a 5/10 from me because of how genuinely WTF the subplot with Fat Amy's father was.

The Acting/Characters: This is a comedy movie, so of course you shouldn't go into it expecting any Oscar-worthy performances, but for what it's worth, the actors do pretty well in their roles. The emotions necessary for these movies rely more on comedic timing than emotional depth, so most of the actors excelled. I also enjoyed some of the new additions to the cast, like the bands that used real instruments. It did feel like the bands were underused and really only appeared in the first half, and I would've liked the conflict to revolve around them more. What was most disappointing about the characters was that it was less about the Bellas and more only about Fat Amy. True, Beca (played by Anna Kendrick) still had a pretty big role and we got to see a little into the other Bellas' lives, but for the most part, this felt less like Pitch Perfect 3 and more like The Fat Amy Show...or rather The Fat Amy Movie. And look, I like Fat Amy, I think Rebel Wilson is pretty funny, but she's far better as a fan-favorite comic relief character than the star of the whole thing. And considering this is the final movie in the trilogy, I wished it focused more on the dynamic of the Bellas as a group than just on Fat Amy. 6.5/10

The Comedy: Considering the first two movies are comedic-quote goldmines, I expected this movie to also be one. While there weren't as many instantly quotable moments as its predecessors, this movie still was pretty funny. The very best quote in the movie is when the fictional girl group Evermoist (yes, that's what they're actually called) are introducing themselves as Calamity, Serenity, Veracity, and Charity, to which Amy responds, "If I joined your group, I could be Obesity." I found that absolutely hilarious. I also thought it was funny when the Bellas were at this fancy party at DJ Khaled's suite. There's this one part where the party gets really crazy (meaning things get destroyed, Khaled's private chef's beehive breaks loose, and there's a fire), yet Beca is just sitting there nonchalantly making sick beats with Khaled's DJ equipment. Finally, one other funny part I'd like to mention is Amy's attempts to save the girls after her father kidnaps them on his yacht. If I remember correctly, she fights some of her father's minions in the yacht's kitchen with a stick of sausage, which was hilarious. Despite my overall opinion that the "Amy's father" arc was unnecessary and the scenes in question being EXTREMELY over-the-top, they still got quite a few chuckles out of me. For me, the comedy was easily the best thing about this movie. 9/10

The Music: The Pitch Perfect franchise is, at large, about acapella groups, so there is naturally lots of music in the series. The soundtracks mostly consist of acapella renditions of popular songs, and this movie was no exception. Some of the songs I was happiest to see in the movie were "Toxic" by Britney Spears, "Love Me Harder" by Ariana Grande, and most of all, "Shut Up And Dance" by Walk The Moon. I also enjoyed how the movie incorporated different styles of music like punk rock, bluegrass, and rap with the bands that use real instruments. We also get to see some of Beca's original music, which sounded pretty cool to me. The problem for me was that this movie just felt like it didn't have as much music as its predecessors. The first half of the movie had a lot of music with the Riff-Off scene, but after that the music was pretty sparse. It felt like they focused more on the spy aspects of the plot than the music aspects, which was not a good move for me. The music was good, I just wish there was more of it. 7.5/10

My score averaged out to a 7/10, which is about what I'd give it. This film has a ton of flaws and I personally can't wait for CinemaSins to tally up everything wrong with it. Objectively, it's probably a 5.5/10 at best. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy this movie a lot. I went with my mom and my brother on opening day and we all had a really fun time. This is the last movie in the series, which means my mom and I won't have our tradition of going to see the movies on opening day anymore and will therefore have to find a new girls' night tradition. Despite that, I do think it probably was time for this series to end so the actors are able to move on with their lives, and the ending was bittersweet and pretty satisfying. If you liked the first two movies, you'll probably like Pitch Perfect 3, but I would say you should probably see the first two prior to watching this one, both because you can get into the plot more and also because they're just more enjoyable movies for me.

This was my first movie review, and honestly I think I did pretty okay for my first time. These probably won't be a regular occurrence on Stellar in Neverland since I don't see movies in theatres very often, but who knows? I'm probably going to see The Greatest Showman at some point, so I'll review it when I do. And as for my next post, I have absolutely NO IDEA what it's going to be, but you can find it next Wednesday. I'm Stellar in Neverland, signing off, and I'll see you then. Peace!

Stellar