Some of My Personal Favorite Bridges in Music

Most modern music has a similar structure. The verses are where the singer tells the story and the chorus is the part that gets stuck in your head. But sometimes there’s a third part, called the bridge. The bridge of a song is where the songwriter takes the song in a different direction, changing the song to keep the listener on their toes. It’s the part before the final chorus, to put it simply. I think a good bridge can turn a good song into a great one, and in many cases, it’s my favorite part of the song. Here are some of my favorites!

I only allowed myself to pick one song per artist to attempt at variety. However, most of these bridges are from pop songs, but there are a couple alternative-leaning songs here and there. The oldest song on this list is from 1994, and every other song is from the 21st century. In other words, there really isn't a lot of variety as far as genre or time period goes, and that's fine. I'm not claiming this to be the definitive list of the best song bridges of all time. As much as I've tried in the past to say that a song may be "objectively good" (really just meaning that Pitchfork music snobs would like it), there is no way to objectively listen to music. I'd be stupid to say that my favorites are objectively the best, because there is no objective. There is no way to factually tell whether one song, artist, or genre is better than the other. These are just the bridges I like most, according to my very limited music experiences. I'm sure there are many more that I'm missing, so I might make a sequel to this post in the future. Also, these songs are in no particular order!

1. "Out of the Woods" by Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift seems to have something of a reputation (no pun intended!) for writing really good bridges, seeing as there is a Buzzfeed list ranking her songs solely on their bridges. She can have some really bad bridges (namely the rap breakdown in "Shake It Off" and the "hey kids, spelling is fun!" in "ME!"), but when she makes a good bridge, it's a really damn good bridge. "Out of the Woods" is one of my personal favorite songs from her entirely because of how good this bridge is. The verses are sort of sparse and the chorus is very repetitive, but then the bridge comes in. She starts singing more frantically and it has some of the song's most personal details: "Remember when you hit the brakes too soon/ Twenty stitches in the hospital room?" It is just an exhilarating section of music. And then when Taylor belts out "OH I REMEMBER!" at the end of it, I think it's the best and most chilling vocal moment of her entire career. My two favorite Taylor Swift songs are "Out of the Woods" and "Delicate," but I had to choose the former for this list because its bridge is the main reason why I like the song so much. 

2. "Your Love is My Drug" by Kesha
I really wanted to pick "Praying" as my Kesha selection because of how utterly powerful and cathartic its bridge is (The whistle note though!), but I'm sorry. The bridge of "Your Love is My Drug" is transcendent. It was actually this song that inspired me to make this post after I noted a few weeks ago that it had a great bridge. I love how earnest Kesha's voice is, and the rising and crashing of the melody is incredible. After the cathartic release of the bridge, Kesha goes back to her speak-singing self, and it's kind of adorable. At this point in her career, Kesha was purposely obnoxious, but in an endearing way, and she had personality to spare. Although obviously, Kesha's work from this period does now leave a bittersweet taste in my mouth because we all know that she was being abused by The-Producer-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. This song wasn't written by He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, so I think everything great about this song is due to Kesha herself. She has always been a talented songwriter and singer, it's just a shame that she didn't get to show it in her early work. 

3. "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga is the pop icon of this generation and this song is her pop masterpiece. Everything about this song is larger-than-life and I think this song is the best portrait of who Gaga is as an artist. More than any Gaga song, I feel like this one has gone down in the history books. Even with the rise of dance-pop around 2010, when this song came out, this song still stood out due to how utterly bananas and high-concept it was. Gaga seemed to know that this song would be her most iconic because she didn't just give it one bridge. This song has two unique bridges and both are fantastic. There's the "walk, walk, fashion, baby" part, which I can't listen to without envisioning a supermodel strutting down the runway, wearing some ridiculous Gaga fashions. She then follows that up with the "I don't wanna be friends" part, which is really fun to belt out. I also like how she starts singing in French during this segment. It's so random and uniquely Gaga that it works wonderfully. Side note: on Gaga's new album, Chromatica, she will be collaborating with both Ariana Grande and Blackpink, and as a huge fan of both of those artists, I'm anticipating both collaborations!

4. "Into You" by Ariana Grande
I swear you could probably make a drinking game out of reading my blog, and it would say "Take a shot every time Stellar praises 'Into You' by Ariana Grande" and you'd get hammered after reading only a few posts. In other words, yes, I talk about this song a lot, but it's my favorite song by my favorite artist. It should be expected that I'm going to talk about it a lot. Although I could highlight the bridges of many other Ariana Grande songs (I particularly like the bridges of "bad idea," "imagine," "Love Me Harder," and "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored"), but I do wholeheartedly believe that "Into You" has the best bridge. The combination of the twinkling synths and Ariana's yearning vocals works for me so perfectly, and it climaxes in that vocal run into that high note. Then the first half of the chorus comes in, but the production is more sparse, only featuring the bassline. However, the multi-tracked layers of vocals singing "come, come, light me up" create a choir of Arianas in the background. Ariana belts a high note again and the chorus comes back to the rush from before. Pop music is my favorite genre because while it does have its low points where it goes in one ear and out the other, it can occasionally produce magic like this. 

5. "Heart Attack" by Demi Lovato
The bridge of this song takes what would be a mediocre, generic pop song and turn it into something special. Seriously, this bridge singlehandedly makes it one of Demi's best songs for me. Demi's voice here (and damn near everywhere) is incredible, and the urgency in her voice is perfect. I love how this bridge gets more and more intense until Demi sings "And I burst into flames." The harmonies on the word "flames" give me chills every time I hear them. It's just a genius vocal arrangement. Another bridge from Demi I like is the one in "Sorry Not Sorry." I honestly think that song is pretty obnoxious as a whole, but the bridge goes for a gospel choir-inspired thing and I love how it builds up to Demi's almost unhumanly high note. Long story short: Demi's good at bridges when her songs actually bother to have one and don't just repeat the pre-chorus again ("Cool For The Summer," "Confident," I love you, but I'm looking at you.)

6. "Physical" by Dua Lipa
Man, I need to drop everything and listen to Dua Lipa's second album, Future Nostalgia soon. I have heard absolutely fantastic things about it, namely that it's an uplifting, cohesive, retro-tinged pop record that I guarantee I would become obsessed with. I also love the singles from the record, especially the second single, "Physical," which is one of the best pop songs I've heard in a long time. This song has such a pulsing energy with its 80s style. It's like the soundtrack to the best roller disco ever. The bridge is where the song seems to amplify its energy even more, and it's perfect. The way Dua sings "Hold on, just a little tighter!" and "Baby, keep on dancing!" is magical. She has so much force in her voice, but not to the point where it sounds like she's trying too hard. This is an effortless, addictive piece of synthpop that shows what this genre can do at its best. 

7. "Run Away With Me" by Carly Rae Jepsen

Yeah, a few weeks ago, I said that Carly Rae Jepsen was so much more than "Call Me Maybe," specifically highlighting this song as "one of the most perfect pop songs ever written." I meant that. This is just a pop song done as perfectly as possible. The sax line is instantly memorable (and became a meme), the production is incredible, Carly sounds sparkling, effervescent, and just head-over-heels in love, and most relevantly for today, the bridge is gorgeous. At first, the production is upbeat and doesn't really change from the chorus, but then it dips. Carly sings "Over the weekend, we could turn the world to gold" and then it explodes again. I think this song will have a similar legacy to "Dancing On My Own" by Robyn, a song that didn't have much chart success, but has endured in pop culture and is (rightfully) known as a pop masterpiece. Let's just hope that, unlike "Dancing On My Own," nobody does a sad piano cover of "Run Away With Me" and it ends up being more successful than the original. God, I could rant about how terrible slow covers of "Dancing On My Own" are all day. 

8. "Fancy" by Twice
While we're on the topic, next week I'll have the third installment of my Kpop Crash Course series up and we'll be talking about the girl group Twice there. My best friend got me into them, and this was the song that first captured my attention. I had listened to some of their other songs due to my friend talking about them so much, but I wasn't super impressed by any of it until I heard "Fancy." I just really love the electropop beat and how the song manages to show the members in a more mature light without sacrificing the catchy hooks that made them famous. "Fancy" is a very uptempo song and the bridge is like a place for them to take a breath. It's calm, almost otherworldly. I really like when Mina, one of the group's dancers, sings the first line of the bridge. I feel like her voice is underrated within the group, because she's not your standard powerhouse vocalist who does amazing high notes, but her tone is just lovely. I also love when Jihyo, the group's lead vocalist, belts out a high note that transitions back into the chorus. Twice are adorable and I love them, and this is one of their best songs for me. 

9. "Shut Up & Dance" by Walk the Moon
For this list, I only wanted to do lyrical sections that differed from the verses and chorus, so no repeating the prechorus and no instrumental solos. However, this song's bridge is a synthesizer solo followed by the prechorus's melody, with a few lyrical changes. I still wanted to include it anyway, because I just love this song so much. I've probably mentioned it in a thousand other posts, but this truly is one of my favorite songs ever written. I've always seen this song as being about this sort of dorky yet charming guy trying to impress a girl on the dance floor, and the bridge is the climax of this scenario. He realizes that he only has one chance to impress her, so he's going to give it all he's got and dance with her! The synth breakdown is awesome too. This entire song just makes me so happy every time I hear it, and I've heard it a lot.

10. "Olivia" by One Direction
When One Direction were a thing, I said I didn't like them because I wanted to feel edgy, but as I've gotten past that stench of wannabe hipster-ism, I've realized that there are a ton of really good, underrated One Direction songs. My favorite is "Stockholm Syndrome" from their album Four, but "Olivia" from Made in the A.M. is a close second. I love this song so much that I named the protagonist of my current story after it. This song is just so cute and whimsical and unlike what you'd expect to hear from a boy band like One Direction. It has this 60s pop-inspired style with some great orchestral elements. The bridge on this one is an homage to the song "Pure Imagination" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It's quirky, fantastical, and completely unexpected. This song was also cowritten by Harry Styles, which is just another factor in making him my favorite from One Direction. And on that note...

11. "Sign of the Times" by Harry Styles
The decision to make this song Harry's debut solo single still blows my mind. Releasing a six-minute, David Bowie-inspired pop rock epic was a really ballsy move, but it paid off entirely because this song is one of my all-time favorites. I actually had two Harry Styles songs I was going back and forth on for this list. "Lights Up" is a really great song too and I love the gospel choirs and repetition of "shine" during its bridge, but I ended up choosing "Sign of the Times" instead. Harry's voice is particularly powerful and emotional as he sings "We don't talk enough, we should open up..." and the crashing guitars create a strong atmosphere. I also love the background vocal harmonies. The funny thing is that when I was younger and in my One Direction-hating edgy phase, I decided Harry was my least favorite purely because he was supposed to be the "pretty one, the one all the girls swooned over." Nowadays, he is by far my favorite One Direction member, both within the group and especially outside of it. 

12. "Shake It Out" by Florence & The Machine
This is a great example of a song that is probably an all-time favorite for me, but I never seem to remember it when thinking of my all-time favorites. Florence & The Machine are a band where I only know a few songs from them, but I should probably get into them. Florence Welch, the band's frontwoman, has an incredible powerful voice that I love, and the almost baroque style of their songs works really well with her voice. This song is about letting go of your past and it's very powerful, cathartic, and uplifting. The bridge is where it peaks in intensity and I just love the way Florence sings it. I especially love how powerful her voice is when she sings "What the hell, I'm gonna let it happen to me" and sounds so angry and passionate. This entire song has always resonated with me, and if songs like this, "Cosmic Love," and "Hunger" are anything like the rest of their work, then I'd probably really love Florence & The Machine.

13.  "The Phoenix" by Fall Out Boy
These next few songs are all from what I call my emo phase: that period of time in 2016 where I did nothing but obsess over Panic! At The Disco, Twenty One Pilots, and Fall Out Boy. It was a wholly embarrassing time, but I still look back fondly at it. The bridge of "The Phoenix" by Fall Out Boy was what that kickstarted that entire phase of my life, so I will always treasure it for that. This entire song is built off of this orchestral sample that really builds a suspenseful atmosphere. It's the kind of song you listen to when you want to get hyped. The bridge continues with the string sample, building a mountain of suspense, and then Patrick Stump does this really long note on "HEYYYY YOUNGBLOOD!" That moment right there is what made me a Fall Out Boy fan. I'm nowhere near the obsessive Fall Out Boy fan I used to be, but I will never not be amazed by Patrick's voice. It's just so unexpectedly soulful for the pop-punk genre and the range of notes he's able to hit is quite impressive. The bridge of "The Phoenix" will always be special to me because, well, between the political turmoil and celebrity deaths, 2016 was a terrible year. It's because of this song and what it inspired in me that I was able to get any happiness from that year. 

14. "Holding on to You" by Twenty One Pilots
Twenty One Pilots were another favorite band from my "emo phase." However, they also managed to get mainstream success with their album Blurryface in that year, having songs like "Stressed Out" becoming huge hit songs. As much as I loved songs from Blurryface like "Doubt," "Heavydirtysoul," and "Tear in my Heart," I preferred their previous album, Vessel. "Holding on to You" was one of the big singles from that album. A lot of the time, my favorite songs from albums aren't the most popular singles, but "Holding on to You" is such a special song and one of my personal favorites from Twenty One Pilots to this day. I just think it is the perfect picture of who Twenty One Pilots are, with some of their trademark rapping, a soaring chorus, and lyrics about getting through mental health struggles. The bridge is the best part of this song for me. For the first part, things seem to calm down. Tyler Joseph sings "Entertain my faith" ten times, getting more desperate with every repetition, and the production swells as it goes on. Then, things switch and Tyler goes back to rapping. This part is about how we have the power to create art, specifically music, and how we need to use this power to create introspective work. One of my favorite lyrics is "It ain't the speakers that bump hearts, it's our hearts that make the beat." To me, this line is about how music is so special because of what it can mean to people, and I love that.
15. "House of Memories" by Panic! At The Disco
And here's the third and final "emo" song. A few years ago, I made a Top 20 Panic! At The Disco Songs list on this very blog. I'm not gonna link it because it's pretty embarrassing and because my opinions have changed so much since then. For example, "Collar Full" was my #1 back then and it absolutely is not now. I'm not sure what my #1 favorite Panic! At The Disco song would be right now, but "House of Memories" is absolutely a contender for that title, and the bridge is almost entirely why. For the bridge of this song, the tempo becomes slower and Brendon Urie starts pouring his heart out. I've always thought of Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco as sister bands for a variety of reasons, but one of the big reasons is because both bands have really impressive lead vocalists. Brendon Urie stands out to me because he has a very showy, almost Broadway-esque style of singing. His voice on this song is very powerful and in a belting style, but he still has a lot of emotion. The lyrics are also very introspective, talking about how we all want to be remembered. My favorite lyric is "And will you remember me in the same way as I remember you?" I just really love this song, always have, always will. 

16. "When You Were Young" by The Killers
Man, considering that this song and "Mr. Brightside" are probably two of my all-time favorite songs, I really should get more into The Killers. I'm actually not really sure how to describe why I like this song. I just do. I really like the main line in the chorus, "He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman, like you imagined when you were young." It's saying that things don't have to be what you expect or hope for to be great. I also like how this song makes me feel nostalgic, even if I didn't hear it until a few years ago. I guess it makes sense, with the title being "When You Were Young," after all. I like how this song progresses and how it uses its bridge to go from quiet to loud. There's the part where it says, "They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet, you don't have to drink right now, but you can dip your feet every once in a little while" and the dynamics are sparse. Then the guitars come rushing back in and it's euphoric!

17. "Hold On, We're Going Home" by Drake ft. Majid Jordan

This is Drake's best song. I've gone back and forth on whether I prefer this or "Nice For What," but in the end, I had to go with this one. ("Nice For What" is still an eternal banger, though.) The thing about this song is that it's actually very repetitive, only having one verse, but that doesn't matter to me. The atmosphere the song has is so comforting and special. For the bridge, Drake lets his proteges, the Canadian R&B duo Majid Jordan, take the mic. Admittedly, it's hard to even tell that it's a different person singing, but it's still my favorite part of the song. I just love how it goes "I think there's something..." and then there's a faint echo of "...baby." As mediocre as Drake can be, this song proves that he can make good songs when he actually tries. I'd love if he made more songs in this sort of 80s style. Everyone else is doing it right now, get on it, Drake!

18. "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd

And speaking of recent songs that sound like they're from the 80s, here's "Blinding Lights." I've already talked about this song before, but I don't care. I could talk about how much I love this song all day. I think the production on this song is some of the best I've ever heard. It's sort of like "Take on Me" by A-ha, one of the best 80s songs, yet even better. I could listen to just an instrumental of this song and I'd be happy, but the actual melodies The Weeknd has are also really damn good. The bridge here (the "I'm just coming back to let you know" part) is pretty short, but it's incredibly impassioned and explosive. This song just makes me feel alive, and I feel like it would be an absolutely incredible one to drive to. One of these days, I'm gonna have to put together a driving playlist. 

19. "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey
I know, it's April, why is there a Christmas song here? Well, in the school band, we did this song in our Christmas concert in December and I decided one day that this song had quite possibly the best bridge of all time. First of all, this song as a whole is a holiday classic, one that the holiday season is incomplete without. Mariah Carey is quite possibly the greatest female vocalist of all time and her voice on this song just sounds beautiful and holly-jolly. The bridge is so perfect because of how the chords shift and how beautiful the melody is. Mariah sounds gorgeous singing, "All the lights are shining so brightly everywhere..." and it just makes me excited for Christmas. Christmas isn't here for half a year, but I'm already anticipating it due to how perfect this bridge is. It's the perfect bridge for the song it is a part of. 

20. "Fix You" by Coldplay

And now my favorite for last. I had every intention of ending with "All I Want For Christmas Is You" because I thought it was the best bridge, but I then realized that the fast part of this song is technically the bridge. I wasn't sure if it counted, but Genius says it does, and once I saw that, there was no contest. This is my favorite bridge of all time. This entire song is so special to me because of how real its emotions are, but the bridge takes it over the top. The song is mostly a slow piano ballad up to that point, but then the tempo picks up and the guitar comes in. The entire band sings in unison "Tears stream down your face..." and it blows me away every time. It's like a crowd of voices is singing to you and letting you know that everything will be okay. Then at the very end, it transitions back to Chris Martin singing solo with the piano and it's really just the most perfect way the song could have ended. My music taste has been all over the place, but this song will always be near the very top of my favorites list. It means too much to me to not be.

As I said before, this isn't a definitive ordered list, and there are many other bridges I could add. If I'm feeling inspired, I might make Part 2 for this with even more amazing bridges! Next week is going to be the third Kpop Crash Course, which I'm excited to write. After all, the last Kpop Crash Course helped me discover a bunch of songs that I instantly liked. Here's hoping next week's will have even more bops! That will be out next Saturday, so I'll see you next week for it!

Stellar

MOVIE TALK: Is The Last Airbender Actually That Bad?

I've mentioned before (namely in my Top 10 Victorious Episodes list, if you were at all curious) that 2010 was a formative year for me and my media consumption. At eight years old, I watched Nick Jr. for far longer than I really should have, but when a friend of mine told me he loved iCarly, I decided to watch it and I loved it too. From there, I watched Nickelodeon all day. I didn't discriminate- I had my favorites (namely iCarly, Victorious, Spongebob, Big Time Rush, and Drake & Josh), but I would watch anything on there. My brother, who is three years younger than me, also liked those shows I liked, but he was also into anything with action/superheroes/cool fight scenes. He would occasionally watch Nickelodeon's sister network, Nicktoons, which seemed to be aimed more at boys his age. I think there was an Iron Man show and a Bionicle one and I think Dragon Ball even was on there at one point. But one day, the show he was watching was over and the next show was on. It had these kids who were doing cool tricks with the elements and saying funny things. We didn't really know what was going on, but we started paying attention and liked what we saw. And that, my friends, is how I was introduced to Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Avatar: The Last Airbender first premiered in 2005 and ended in 2008. However, I saw the show through reruns and it blew my mind. It was unlike any show I had seen on Nick prior or since. While most Nicktoons aim for lower-brow audiences with cheap jokes, Avatar was different. It was far more serious than the rest of the shows, touching on themes like genocide and totalitarianism, but it still had its moments of lightening the mood, especially with the character of Sokka providing excellent comic relief. It had fantastic worldbuilding and character development, some of the best I've seen in any series. I haven't watched the series in a hot minute, but characters like Aang, Katara, Toph, and Zuko are still fresh in my mind. It was also heavily inspired by anime and wore those influences on its sleeve, but not to the point where it feels appropriative. It's a truly remarkable show, one that dares to go outside the box of what is expected from children's television and provides kids with mature, grounded storytelling. The show was also successful in many ways, being a ratings and critical smash. It even got its own spinoff series, The Legend of Korra, which I actually haven't watched, but I've heard many good things about. It was so successful it even got a theatrical movie based on the show, for better or for worse. Definitely for worse. 

I had just started to get into the series when I first started to see commercials for The Last Airbender, and I was already anticipating it. It was this show that I loved and it was going to be a movie! I had every reason to be excited! It looked awesome from what I saw. Plus, not that it mattered to me at that time, but the movie was to be directed, produced, and written by M. Night Shyamalan, who also directed The Sixth Sense. Then I actually saw the movie.

Let's not beat around the bush, The Last Airbender has a reputation as one of the worst movies of the last decade, possibly ever. WatchMojo named the movie the single worst of the 2010s, even worse than critical flops like The Emoji Movie, the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, Cats, and even Jack & Jill, the movie where Adam Sandler does drag. It also swept the 2011 Razzies, a parody award show dedicated to recognizing the worst movies of the year. The movie was modestly successful at the box office, raking in over $300 million worldwide, but the critical panning it got was brutal. Critics dismissed the acting, the directing, the plotting, the screenplay, the effects, everything, really. But that's not the end of the world. Sometimes, a movie gets poor reviews from critics but still ends up being successful with fans. The best example of this is The Greatest Showman, a movie that managed to capture the hearts of millions of fans worldwide (including myself), despite the mediocre reviews from critics. Was The Last Airbender in a similar boat? How did the fans feel?

Betrayed, heartbroken, and generally sharing the vitriol of the critics, that's how they felt. According to CinemaScore, the film was rated a "C" on a scale from A+ to F by audiences. The film was controversial early on for whitewashing, casting white actors to play ethnically diverse characters. When fans saw the actual film, they were horrified for many of the same reasons the critics were. It's been ten years and The Last Airbender movie and its brutal massacre of an incredible series is still a running joke within the fandom...for those who even bother to acknowledge its existence. Many fans (and the creators of the original series, for that matter) like to pretend the film didn't happen.


I also was pretty mad.  Back then, I was just annoyed that they mispronounced all of the characters' names, but I did think it was pretty bad as a whole and angrily proclaimed it the worst movie I had ever seen. I've long said that it is the worst movie I've ever seen, but I haven't actually seen it in a while. I saw it got put on Netflix recently and decided to ask the question: Is The Last Airbender actually that bad? I'm going to rewatch this movie and see if it actually is as bad as I remember or if I just like to overreact.



Let's just answer that title question right away: Yes. Yes, it is actually that bad. This is, without a doubt, the worst movie I have seen. It lives up to its infamy for many reasons, which we will get into. But before that, let's look at the very few positives this movie has:
-I'm by no means an expert on film scores, but this film's score is pretty good. It does a nice job of setting an epic tone for the series. The score was done by James Newton Howard, who also worked on the score for The Dark Knight with Hans Zimmer, as well as the score for The Hunger Games movies. (He also did the orchestration for Toto's album Toto IV, aka the album with "Africa" on it. I'm just mentioning that because "Africa" by Toto is one of the greatest songs ever made.) The score actually received positive reviews, making it the only part of this movie to do so.
-The temple in the Northern Water tribe looks nice. There are cherry blossoms there, which are my favorite flower. I went to Washington, DC this time last year and the cherry blossoms were stunning. I miss DC.
-The plot is poorly done, but it has potential. Maybe stretch it out into a TV show, develop the characters more, maybe animate it...OH WAIT.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. Now, let's talk about why this movie's reputation as one of the worst of all time is deserved. I'm a big fan of writing lists and countdowns, so that's how we will do this. I'm going to discuss this movie's top 5 biggest problems overall. I could nitpick every scene (and I did when watching), but let's just look at its most major flaws, ranked from pretty infuriating to actually making me want to give up on the concept of cinema as a whole.

5. The plot is foggy and confusing for those who aren't familiar with the show.
A giant problem with the movie is that it tries to cram a 20-episode season of a show into a 90-minute film. According to ScreenRant, the film was actually supposed to be seven hours long. Naturally, nobody wants to see a seven-hour movie so the studio, Paramount, trimmed a lot of it. Paramount also decided last-minute to convert the movie to 3D as a marketing ploy, but they needed to cut an additional half-hour in order to make the film ready for release by Independence Day. The movie doesn't allow us to become attached to the characters or really process what's going on. It beats you over the head with exposition so if you aren't already familiar with the original series, then you'll just end up confused. Which leads me to ask: Who is this movie for? If you don't know the series, then you'll be bewildered, but if you do know the series, you'll be angry at how the film handles its material. The rushed nature of the film is one of its biggest downfalls.
4. The visual effects, to quote CinemaSins, "would be outstanding if this was a student film."
This, of course, is a backhanded compliment, a nice way for him to say that the effects of this movie are terrible. The movie won a Razzie specifically created for it, "Most Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3D." The effects that most stand out to me as being bad are the waterbending effects. The water appears to have the consistency of Jell-O. The airbending effects also look silly, especially the effect whenever Aang snaps down his bo staff. On a semi-related note: the physical movements for "bending" mostly look like bad dancing. I think the cast actually had to do martial arts training to prepare for the movie, which leads me to believe that the bending movements are actually martial arts. However, the way they are filmed makes them look simply ridiculous. One last gripe with the visual effects is that the creature designs for Appa and Momo, two of Aang's animal/creature/non-human friends, are quite bad. I think Detective Pikachu has spoiled me as far as CGI creatures go. Say what you will about the movie as a whole, the CGI designs for the Pokémon are absolutely fantastic. (Those Bulbasaurs, though!) Appa and Momo, however, just look cheaply designed.
3. The script and dialogue are laughably bad.
There are just so many clunkily written lines in this movie. At the beginning, Prince Zuko shouts "BRING ME ALL YOUR ELDERLY!" That sounds like dialogue from a mean-spirited parody. Some other poorly written lines include "He was bending tiny stones at us! It really hurt!", "It is time we showed the Fire Nation we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in their beliefs," "Aang, would you like to spar? You haven't sparred in a few days," and this bizarre lecture on how water is "the element of change" and how it "teaches us acceptance." The screenplay also focuses too much on exposition, so we don't get attached to the characters. We don't know what the characters want in life or who they are. (We do get a few character traits, but they're all horrible...I'm getting ahead of myself here.)
2. There is not a single good performance in this movie, as the actors range from horribly flat to hammy overacting.
Even before its release, the film raised eyebrows for casting white actors as characters who are not white. The first terrible casting choice was Nicola Peltz as Katara, who, according to a former worker on the movie (see the ScreenRant link), was subpar in her audition and only cast because of nepotism. If she was to be cast as Katara, then the actor who played Katara's brother, Sokka, needed to look like her. Enter Jackson Rathbone, an actor from Twilight, as Sokka. Then, to try to improve the diversity of the series, they cast Dev Patel, a British actor of Indian descent, as Prince Zuko, who is from a Japan-like culture. Because the Prince of the Fire Nation was Indian, the producers decided that all of the Fire Nation, who are the villains of the movie, had to be as well. So yes, all of the heroes are generic white kids and all of the villains are evil brown people. It probably wasn't intended to be racist, but it was.

This wouldn't be as big of a problem if the performers were actually good, but nobody is. As I watched the movie, I found myself complaining about how bad Sokka's actor was every five minutes. He's dull and expressionless with every line, and he's very stiff, as if he is still learning his lines. I actually read that Zac Efron was considered for the role of Sokka, believe it or not. The part of me that has loved Zefron since High School Musical wants to believe that he'd be better, but the direction is so poor that nobody is good here. Rathbone tries to come off as dead-serious in every single line,  but he just ends up sounding bored when he isn't supposed to be. His on-screen sister, Nicola Peltz, is also bad here for similar reasons. She doesn't have any emotional range and sounds nervous and awkward with everything she says. On the opposite side of the spectrum, Noah Ringer plays the protagonist of the story, Aang, but he is overracting. He delivers his lines with zero nuance or restraint, and a bunch of his facial expressions are really bad. Dev Patel, who plays Zuko, is actually a pretty good actor (or so I think, he was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar if that means anything), but his delivery in this movie is so over-the-top. This could have been okay if the movie at least tried to have a lighter tone, but everything is so serious that Patel just appears to be out of his element. Our four main actors are all very bad here, but so is everyone else. The common complaint for all of the performances is that everyone sounds like they're taking the movie too seriously. Whether they're dryly underacting or ham-fistedly overacting, they're all too serious. Speaking of that...
1. The film is a disservice to the tone and characters of the original series. 
One of the things I most loved about the show was that even though it got pretty heavy, it always had light-hearted moments to balance things out. Sokka was my favorite character in the show precisely for this very reason, as he always had something funny to say. In the movie, there are no light-hearted moments. The film is going for a way more serious tone than the show, but due to the poor script and performances, it fails. The characters have completely different personalities and are shells of themselves:
-In the show, Aang is unbelievably powerful and important with a lot of stuff to deal with, but he still manages to be a good, playful kid. However, in this movie, he's a walking set piece. We don't really get a vibe for who he is, except for one hilarious scene. The heroes go to this Earthbending Prison, where the Earthbenders are under attack by the Fire Nation. They are living in fear from the Fire Nation. Aang, however, just starts yelling at them like "EARTHBENDERS, WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS? YOU ARE POWERFUL!" This just reminded me of that one time Jake Paul tried to cure anxiety by tweeting about how anxiety is all in your head and created by you so just ignore it! It's not that simple. I should not be comparing one of the best protagonists I have ever seen in a show to a goddamn Paul brother. I hate this.
-Katara in the show is young but wise-beyond-her-years and a good motherly figure for the characters who is also amazing at waterbending. In the movie, she is whiny and acts like a spoiled brat. She also is weak, even when she tries to be powerful. When she is battling Zuko and declares who she is, she just sounds like she's been crying for an hour. She also sucks at waterbending!
-I already touched on Sokka before, but he is the single worst character in this movie. In the very beginning of the movie, Katara is practicing her waterbending and accidentally splashes Sokka. Sokka immediately gets angry and starts trying to hurt her. This is so incongruous with his character in the show! In the show, Sokka is a great big brother to Katara who will protect her at any cost. He wouldn't hurt her because she merely splashed him! Sokka's "romance" with Princess Yue in the Northern Water Tribe is also poorly developed. They just look at each other, not even saying a single word, and Katara says in a voiceover that "My brother and the princess became very fast friends." Even your most cliche love-at-first-sight stories have more development than that!
-Zuko is an edgelord who yells everything. He really is one of the most human characters in the show, struggling between his father's ruthless demands and his desire to have a free will. He also struggles with feeling overshadowed by his younger sister, Azula. They only barely touch on his resentment issues and he's mostly just an edgy, angsty teen. (Also, Azula appears at the very end of the movie and she looks like she lives at Hot Topic. Just thought I'd mention that.)
-Zuko's Uncle Iroh is one of the most memorable characters of the show. He's a wise, lovable old teddy bear who accompanies Zuko on his journey. In the movie, he is absolutely not that. Movie Iroh is about three times younger than the Iroh in the show, to the point where I didn't even recognize that it was him until they said his name (incorrectly, I might add.) Other than at the end where he helps the heroes for some reason, none of the heart that made Uncle Iroh such a great character is there.
-Okay, so those are my main gripes, and this is obviously not the biggest complaint with the movie, but it really is dumb that they mispronounce half the characters' names wrong. In the movie, "Aang" is pronounced to rhyme with "song," when in the show, it is clearly pronounced to rhyme with "gang." Sokka is pronounced "sew-ka" in the movie when it's pronounced "sock-a" in the show, and Iroh is pronounced "ear-oh" in the movie but "i-roe" in the show. It's just baffling because it's not like it's a book where the pronunciations are up for debate. There is literally a show right there with the correct pronunciations for them to use! What makes Shyamalan think he can just change the pronunciations?

To wrap this up, I'm just going to share a lovely tidbit of trivia I found when doing research for this: In a Reddit AMA, Dante Basco, the voice actor for Prince Zuko in the series, was asked what he thought of The Last Airbender. He responded by saying that he has never seen it because the creators of the original series, Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante DiMartino, told him not to. The Last Airbender is such a disgrace to the series it is based on that the people who made the original series have actively encouraged people to not see it. That is the most damning thing I can say about this movie. I typically give movies a score from 1 to 10, with 1 being the absolute worst. However, I'm going to make an exception for this one. The Last Airbender is a 0/10. It is a disgrace to one of the best cartoons of all time, but even if you don't know anything about the show it is based on, it is an unpleasant viewing experience. Avatar: The Last Airbender, the show, is longer, but it is far more rewarding than this. Watch that instead. God help us if I ever see a movie worse than this.

I'm not 100% sure on what next week's post will be, but I can guarantee it will be more positive than this one. It shouldn't be too hard for me to write something more positive than this. I'm Stellar in Neverland, I'll see you next week, and don't watch The Last Airbender.

Stellar

Looking Back at the Top 5 Hits of Every Year of the 2010s

We're now four months into a new decade and I already want to go back to the 2010s. Were the 2010s a perfect ten years? No, absolutely not. We saw a lot of turmoil in many different parts of the world, from Brexit to the migration crisis to the American government being a mess that no one can agree on. Plus, we saw natural disasters like the Haitian earthquake in 2010 and Hurricane Sandy, as well as countless mass shootings and terrorist attacks and the deaths of many beloved figures. And of course, we started to become aware of just how much global warming is killing our planet. But as terrible as the 2010s were in some aspects, there were some good things to come out of these ten years. With the rise of social media, it became easy to keep in touch with others around the world, which definitely has its downsides, but is ultimately a good thing for society. We also saw LGBTQ+ people gain more rights, as well as the #MeToo movement, which raised awareness for victims of sexual assault. And some really good music came out of it, too.

That's what we're going to be talking about today. At the end of each year, Billboard releases a list of the top 100 most popular songs of the year, determined through a bunch of statistics regarding sales, radio airplay, streaming, and many other factors. To reminisce about the 2010s, I'm going to be taking a look at the top 5 songs of each year, according to Billboard's list. I'm going to give my thoughts on each song in the top 5 for each year and give each song a score from 1 to 10. That means we're going to be looking at 50 songs, so get comfortable. The complete list of the 100 songs for each year will be linked; just click on the name of the year if you would like to see it.

2010:
5. "OMG" by Usher ft. will.i.am
It's crazy to think how a song can be absolutely massive in its heyday, only to be forgotten soon after. I think I liked this song around third grade, or at least I remember my best friend saying he liked it around then. I really haven't thought about it much since then, which makes sense, because this song isn't very good. Usher has some great songs, but this song is just unmemorable and dumb. Except when he says "Honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow." That's memorable for all the wrong reasons. The chanting throughout the song is also really annoying. It's just bizarre how this mostly unmemorable song was the #5 song of the year, even though songs at lower positions on the charts, such as "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga (#9) and "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry (#17) had far more longevity. 3/10

4. "California Gurls" by Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg
This song is still pretty well-remembered today. I think this is the definitive summer pop song. The beachy disco-pop vibe just screams "summer" to me, and the song has hooks for days. Snoop Dogg's rap verse is also really memorable and really helps the song's laid-back vibe. I loved Katy Perry around this time, and I loved this song. And today, I still do. Let's just ignore the fact that it was produced by Dr. L*ke. My heart wants to give this a 10/10, but my head wants me to subtract a point or two because it was produced by a rapist. I'm sorry, but I'm going to follow my heart on this one. 10/10

3. "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train
I haven't actually thought out a formal list of what I think are the "worst songs ever", but if I did, this would absolutely be on that list. I genuinely loathe this song. The guy's voice is annoying, the ukuleles are boring, but the worst part is the lyrics. This may very well be the worst-written song of all time. There is not a single good line in this song, and every line is its own kind of terrible. Highlights include "Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains," "My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest," and "So gangsta, I'm so thug." This song just makes me angry and as much as I'd like to spend this entire post just thrashing it, we still have 47 songs left. My masochism will have to wait. 1/10

2. "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum
A surprising amount of these songs are some of my mom's favorites. Chances are that if you have a male vocalist and a female vocalist sing an emotional piano-based song, my mom will be all over it and I will have to hear it every time I'm in the car with her. This checks off all the boxes for a song that my mom would love, and what do you know, she does love this song. Most of the songs my mom likes in this vein, I just can't stand. That being said, I still like this song. It's not an all-time favorite, but I like the chemistry between the two vocalists and the lyrics are pretty gut-wrenching. Drunk-dialing your ex has never sounded so good. 7.5/10

1. "Tik Tok" by Kesha
You young'ns can keep your silly apps, this is the "Tik Tok" I know. Kesha was huge in the early 2010s. My parents thought she was annoying and untalented, but I liked her. I think my favorite song from this era of Kesha is probably "Your Love is My Drug" (that bridge is genuinely perfect), but this song still has its charms. It does kind of make me sad, because I do know that at this time, Kesha was being abused by Dr. L*ke and didn't have much control over her image. She was being forced to play the role of this drunk party girl and not being able to use her real voice. Although Kesha is pretty good at playing this role, I vastly prefer her music from "Praying" onward, as it's what she wanted to make all along. "Tik Tok" is fun, but I'd much rather listen to other Kesha songs. 7/10

2011:

5. "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull ft. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, Nayer
This song may have the greatest/worst opening lyrics of all time: "Me not working hard? Yeah right, picture that with a Kodak/ Or better yet, go to Times Square and take a picture of me with a Kodak." Other than those incredible lines, this song isn't really that special. It does make me nostalgic in a way because this song was huge in 2011 and I really liked it. It's very of-its time. Ne-Yo's chorus is good though, and I really liked it when they sang this song during the Bellas' final performance in the first Pitch Perfect. The first Pitch Perfect is the best of the three, I think. 7/10

4. "E.T." by Katy Perry ft. Kanye West
I was really into Katy Perry during her Teenage Dream era, so naturally I really loved this song back in the day. Now, there are parts of it I like, but parts of it that baffle me. First of all, I really like the melody and how chilling it is. It's one of Katy's darkest singles, sounding epic and chilling without being too much of a radical change in tone for Katy. Now for the parts I don't like: the lyrics are kind of dumb. I don't know if this song's about her loving a literal alien or if it's just a metaphor, but either way, it's dumb. And speaking of dumb, there's Kanye's verse. Despite being really problematic, I do think Kanye can make great music when he wants to, but his verse on this song is awful. It has some puzzling lyrics, with my personal favorite being: "Pockets on Shrek, rockets on deck/ Tell me what's next, alien sex?" That's up there with that Pitbull Kodak line as being one of the best/worst lyrics of all time, so dumb that it's funny. I actually quite like the original bridge to the song, it's a shame they replaced it with Kanye on the single version. 5.5/10

3. "Firework" by Katy Perry
But as much as I loved other Katy Perry songs back in the day, this was my number one and nothing could compare. I thought this song was really catchy and had a great message, and I loved singing along. This song makes me pretty nostalgic for that reason, but looking back, it's not that good. It's like with "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, another self-empowerment anthem. If I were to listen to either one of those songs without my personal nostalgia, I would hate them both and dismiss them as generic. But because I loved those songs as a kid, I will always have places in my heart for them. Also, this is the third song in a row with a famous so-bad-it's-good lyric: "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?" 8/10

2. "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock
This song is pretty dumb, but I don't hate it. Around this time, I loved playing Just Dance 3 with my mom and my brother and this was one of my favorite songs to dance to. It's also one of my favorite songs to play during pep band. When we play this song, we always do this dance about halfway through and it's really fun! One of the kids in the class ahead of me really loved playing this song for pep band, and whenever our director would ask what song we should play, he would always scream "PARTY ROCK!" at the top of his lungs. I don't really like this song as a song, but I have so many good memories of it that it still puts a smile on my face. 8/10

1. "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele
All the other songs we've looked at from 2011 are upbeat, synthesized pop songs, so it's odd that the #1 song, the song that was bigger than all of them, is the complete opposite of that. I feel like this song was a shock to the system of the pop world in 2011. After years of autotuned party songs, we now had this song with entirely organic instrumentation performed by an autotune-free, powerful voice. Despite the countless hits Adele has had since this song, it will always stand out as a highlight of her discography. I particularly like the third verse and breakdown, where it tones things down and feels more intimate but still larger-than-life. Adele is one of the biggest stars of the decade, and with her unpretentious appeal, solid discography, and obvious vocal talent, it's not hard to see why. I also want her to be my friend, because on her records, she's very serious and powerful, but in interviews, she's funny and quite foul-mouthed. Adele is great and I can't wait to see what she does next. 9.5/10

2012:

5. "Lights" by Ellie Goulding
Around middle school, I was really into Ellie Goulding. Her pretty, ethereal music just spoke to me then, and when I'm in the right mood, it still does. My favorite song of hers is "Anything Could Happen," one of those songs that I really love but seem to forget about a lot of the time, but this is a close second. I just love the twinkling production of this song and Ellie's angelic vocals. It's impressive how this song was actually written about being afraid of the dark, but it sounds so deep that it's hard to tell. This song is also a notable sleeper hit, not peaking on the Billboard Hot 100 until its 33rd week on the charts. It took a long time to catch on, but once it did, people couldn't get enough. This song deserved to be as big as it was and I hope Ellie makes this sort of ethereal synthpop soon enough. Her newer material just blends into the background. 10/10

4. "Payphone" by Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa
This is another song my mother loves for some reason. It does have a pretty nice melody, but Adam Levine's voice is annoying on it and it's pretty boring. The one interesting thing about it is that it may be the only song in history where the clean version is actually better than the explicit one. For most songs, I prefer to listen to the explicit version because the clean version just sounds awkward. But for this song, the cursing in the original is extremely gratuitous and clashes with the tone. The radio edit is a lot better. Wiz Khalifa's rap verse was unneeded because his rapping doesn't really have anything to do with the rest of the lyrics. Maroon 5 have made a lot of boring and generic songs during this decade, and this one isn't one of the absolute worst, but it's still unmemorable. 4/10

3. "We Are Young" by fun. ft. Janelle Monae
This song is fine, I guess, but both of the acts are capable of so much more. fun. were big for a hot minute, having three hit songs, "We Are Young," "Some Nights," and "Carry On." The other two songs are significantly better, with "Some Nights" being an all-time favorite. fun.'s guitarist, Jack Antonoff, has also made a name for himself producing songs for the likes of Taylor Swift (including "Out of the Woods," one of my personal favorites of hers), Lorde, and Lana Del Rey. Janelle Monae's also way better than this, as she really doesn't do much on it. I haven't really heard that many of her songs, but "Make Me Feel" from 2018 is still a jam that deserved to be so much bigger. Once again, this song is fine, but I'd much rather listen to other songs from the people involved. 6/10

2. "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen
And speaking of artists who are so much better than their biggest hit. I do see why "Call Me Maybe" was such a big hit. With such a catchy, memorable chorus, it would kind of be a disgrace if it wasn't. However, it's even more of a disgrace that Carly Rae's other songs haven't caught on like "Call Me Maybe" did. "Run Away With Me" is one of the most perfect pop songs ever written. I also really love "Cut to the Feeling," "Store," "Too Much," and especially "Want You in My Room," and that's not even counting all the amazing songs from Emotion and Dedicated that I haven't listened to, but I'm sure that they're all better than "Call Me Maybe." Carly Rae Jepsen has a bit of a cult following, but she deserves to be so much bigger than she is. She's so much more than "Call Me Maybe." 4/10

1. "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye ft. Kimbra
Another song my mom really likes! I have heard this song so many times throughout my life that it's honestly starting to get old for me. It's still a really good song! I love how unique this instrumentation is. I can't think of any other popular song that sounds quite like this. I also really love the interplay between Gotye and Kimbra, how this song has two completely different perspectives. Gotye's wallowing in his sadness and anger while Kimbra comes in and yells at him for screwing her over. This is a rare song that was both commercially successful and critically acclaimed, and both the critical and commercial successes are highly deserved. It also has had quite a bit of longevity. I still hear it on the radio today. 10/10

2013:

5. "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton
Around 2013, my brother and I were pretty into Macklemore, and we both really loved this song. This song does take me back to those times, when I was just leaving elementary school and starting to discover the world of Billboard charts. I feel like Macklemore's sort of become a punchline nowadays, but this song is still pretty great. Ryan Lewis's beat is incredible, especially with those horns, Macklemore's rapping is on point, and featured guest Ray Dalton does an amazing chorus. I've always thought this song was better than "Thrift Shop," and although "Thrift Shop" showed Macklemore's goofy side, "Can't Hold Us" shows him as a serious hype man. 10/10

4. "Harlem Shake" by Baauer
So...the Harlem Shake is only in the top 5 because of the popularity of the meme in 2013, not because people actually like it as a song. As a song, it's quite annoying and repetitive, a 2/10. Instead, let's talk about the meme, specifically, this video, the original. Fun fact: the guy in the pink suit in that video is Japanese comedian George Miller, who, from 2011 to 2017, made YouTube videos and music under the persona of Filthy Frank. In 2017, he decided to start making serious music under the name Joji, including a song called "Slow Dancing in the Dark." And let's be real, the only reason why I'm bringing this up is because I don't want to talk about the Harlem Shake and instead want to talk about how much I'm obsessed with "Slow Dancing in the Dark" by Joji. It's pretty rare that I hear a song and just fall instantly head-over-heels in love with it, but that's what I did with this song. I just want to listen to it forever. I love how it mixes ambient production with yearning emotion, and it just gets me in my feelings. The fact that it got popular off of TikToks through the viral "Microwave Challenge" makes me believe that TikTok is extremely beneficial for popular music. So to wrap things up: Is the Harlem Shake indirectly responsible for "Slow Dancing in the Dark"? Food for thought. 

3. "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons
Back around April-May 2013, when this song was first starting to get played on my radio station, I was obsessed with it. This was literally my favorite song for months, but relistening to it, I’m completely ambivalent. In fact, I fail to see how I liked it so much, especially comparing it to other songs from the time that were way better in hindsight. If I were to describe this song in one word, it would be “loud”, and while that can be a good thing sometimes, here it’s a bit overwhelming. Despite being so loud, though, the production does sound sort of muffled and compressed. However, I do like the softer guitars in the intro and the flute bits. The vocals are okay. It does sound like he’s shouting and straining a little bit, but he’s overall okay. The lyrics are...I actually have no idea what this song is about. Inner strength, I guess? I don’t care. This song gets a 7/10 because although it sounds like I was being harsh on it in the review, I still have fond (albeit cringey) memories with it. I would listen to it without complaining, but it wouldn’t be my first pick if I had control of the aux cord.

2. "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell Williams
This song was very controversial at the time and it still is today. Many people claim the lyrics are misogynistic and endorse date rape, and I completely understand why. The attitudes portrayed in this song are pretty repulsive, with Pharrell himself even admitting that it wasn't a good idea. The only part about this song that I would praise is the production, but even that isn't completely original, as this song was famously sued for sounding a lot like "Got to Give it Up" by Marvin Gaye. I hated this song at the time because I just thought it was annoying, but looking back now, I hate this song because it is toxic. The summer of 2013 saw two big disco-inspired hits featuring Pharrell, this song and "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk. "Get Lucky" is infinitely the better song and although it obviously wasn't a flop, it deserved all the success "Blurred Lines" got. 1/10

1. "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz
In fifth grade, I wrote in a journal every day. I still have that journal and it is a goldmine of absolutely hysterical quotes and moments, such as me drawing a heart every time I mentioned the guy I liked, making plans that never came to fruition, and bitching about friend drama. But I think the pinnacle of hilarity in that journal comes on March 6, 2013, when I was talking about what a great time I had on the school bus: "On the radio, they played 'Thrift Shop', which is probably my favorite song, even though it has lots of bad words." This song just reminds me of how cringy I was in fifth grade. My mom likes it for some reason. I think it's the only rap song she actually likes, and none of us are sure as to why. It's a fine song, I can rap the whole thing, but it just makes me feel embarrassed. 7.5/10

2014:

5. "Counting Stars" by OneRepublic
I loved this song when it first came out and although it's not an all-time favorite, it's still pretty good. It has a very infectious feeling, mixing pop with folk. I also really like the message of this song, focusing less on material wealth and more on dreaming. I really overplayed this song when it came out, to the point where I completely wore myself out on it. But now when I come back to it, it's good. My favorite OneRepublic song is actually from the same album as "Counting Stars," and it's called "Feel Again." It's one of those songs like "Anything Could Happen" by Ellie Goulding, where I really love it and think it's an all-time favorite, but I forget about it a lot of the time. "Counting Stars" is really good, even if I do prefer "Feel Again." 9/10

4. "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX
For most of these songs, I've been playing them in the background as I write, but I deliberately chose to listen to Twice's "Fancy" over Iggy Azalea's. It's funny how in 2014, Iggy Azalea was at the top of the charts, but her relevance vanished a year later. I think we as a society realized that the biggest rapper in the world should not be an Australian girl with a phony "blaccent." "Fancy" is her biggest hit, but the only really memorable part is Charli XCX's chorus. Charli XCX is similar to Carly Rae Jepsen in that she had a couple of really big hits, then disappeared from the mainstream. Also like Carly Rae, she has a bit of a cult following. I'm not too familiar with Charli's music outside of the big hits, but I've heard good things about her and I'll have to check her out. I'm glad she was the one on this song who ended up getting more buzz, as Iggy is just bad. 4/10

3. "All of Me" by John Legend
This song is just boring. John Legend is certainly an artist I like more as a person than I like as an artist. That's not really fair, because the only song I really know from him is "All of Me," which I can't stand. It's just very repetitive and basic, not to mention a song that doesn't hold up to overplay in the slightest. John Legend is very talented and I'm sure I'd like something from him if I looked deeper in his discography, even if I don't like this song. I do think he seems like a really nice, intelligent person, so that's something. 4/10

2. "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry ft. Juicy J
Another Katy Perry song, here we go. I really liked this song when I was big, but it shrunk on me a lot. Katy's always been really good at coming up with catchy, solid melody lines, and this song is no exception. However, the lyrics, production, and guest rapper are all varying degrees of bad. The lyrics are awful because Katy doesn’t seem to know what a dark horse actually is. According to Google, a dark horse is: “a candidate or competitor about whom little is known but who unexpectedly wins or succeeds." Katy (who is one of the biggest pop stars of all time, mind you) describes a dark horse as this powerful and majestic creature who is basically the opposite of an actual dark horse. Katy Perry herself isn’t a dark horse either, since she’s had dozens upon dozens of hits. The beat is really weak and clunky and Juicy J's verse is nonsensical, but not in a fun way. This song absolutely could have been better. 3/10

1. "Happy" by Pharrell Williams
This song was written for Despicable Me 2, and god, does it sound like it. This just sounds like something that would fit into a kids movie, as it's the perfect song for the minions to dance around to. The enthusiasm Pharrell has is contagious or irritating, depending on what mood I'm in. The one problem I've always had is that it feels like it goes on too long. They didn't need to repeat the "bring me down" part a second time. Another issue is that on literally every lyric site I find, it says he is singing "can't nothing, bring me down, my level's too high." It has always frustrated me because...no he's not. He did not say "high!" He just went "mmm"! In live performances I looked up, he does say "high", but in the studio recording, I swear he just goes "mmm." Is this a stupid gripe to have? Yes, absolutely. The song's pleasant enough, but it gets old and frustrates me in ways it really shouldn't. 5/10

2015:

5. "Sugar" by Maroon 5
I'm only doing the top five songs for each year, but when I looked at the list of the top 100 songs for 2015, I was devastated to learn that at number six, just barely missing the cut for me to talk about it, was "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon. That means that instead of talking about one of my favorite songs ever written, I'm going to be talking about a mediocre Maroon 5 song. Most of Maroon 5's output this decade has been mediocre, feeling more like a glorified Adam Levine solo project than a song by an actual band. "Sugar" is noteworthy for how high and obnoxious Adam Levine's falsetto goes, and that's pretty much it. I don't have much to say about this song. 3/10

4. "Trap Queen" by Fetty Wap
Fetty Wap is another one of those artists who was huge for a year, only to disappear a year later. Nobody's really heard from him since, and it's weird because this song and a few others were huge in 2015. However, this song still puts a smile on my face. Fetty Wap admittedly sounds like a dying walrus, but it kind of works. This song also has some contagious enthusiasm and the flows and melodies are pretty catchy. This is a great throwback song for me, one that you forget all about but then hear and realize, "oh, I remember this!" 8.5/10

3. "See You Again" by Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth
And now, for something completely different! This song, for those who have lived under a rock, was written for the movie Furious 7 to commemorate the actor Paul Walker, who died in a car accident in 2013. The first song I heard this song and watched the music video, I straight sobbed, even though I didn't know much about Paul Walker. I think it does a pretty okay job at paying tribute to those who have passed, but it's not really a song I can listen to over and over again. Funny enough, I distinctly remember a friend of mine actually doing just that, listening to this song on repeat on the bus ride during a field trip. It's funny how since this song, Wiz Khalifa has sort of faded from the mainstream and hasn't really had many hits, but Charlie Puth had some hits for a while. His first album got terrible reviews and had some bad singles, but he ended up making really good music afterwards. I really like "How Long" and "Done for Me." To conclude, "See You Again" is a fine song, but not my favorite. 7/10

2. "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran
With this song, Ed Sheeran rose from being modestly popular to being one of the biggest acts on the planet. This song was just made to be played at weddings, as a first dance song. It's appropriate that the music video features Ed doing just that, slow dancing with a girl in white (although I don't think she's supposed to be a bride). I'd say the best thing about this song is Ed's voice on it, as he just sounds beautiful and truly in love. The production is also nice and romantic. The one issue is the lyrics, but it's really just one line: when Ed says "Darling, I will be loving you until we're seventy." I get the sentiment of that, "I will love you forever," but the way he phrases it is like "I'll love you until we're seventy. Once we turn seventy-one, it's over." It's a minor complaint, but like, it could have been so easy to fix: "Darling, I will be loving you for eternity." Really cheesy, I know, but it doesn't prompt questions like the original lyric does. Why am I not a million-dollar songwriter? Well, for a lot of reasons, but that's for another day. 8/10

1. "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars
This song was the biggest hit of the year by a long shot. It was truly inescapable and it felt like everyone knew it and loved dancing along to it. Although this song was and still is incredibly overexposed, it still is fantastic. It's a genius throwback to 80s funk, a song that makes you feel as badass as Bruno when you listen to it. Bruno Mars started out doing uninteresting adult contemporary music with "Just the Way You Are" and "Grenade," but around 2012, he found his lane as a throwback party-starter. The tone of his voice and showman personality make the throwback styles a perfect fit for him. Of course, we can't discredit producer Mark Ronson, who lays down an incredibly funky and infectious groove. This is quite possibly the most iconic song of the decade, and it deserves to be. 10/10

2016:

5. "Stressed Out" by Twenty One Pilots
The upbeat party that was the 2015 music scene shifted the next year to a more gloomy 2016, and it was hit-or-miss. Frankly, I think a lot of the biggest hits of 2016 were mediocre, while the stuff just outside of the mainstream was fantastic. Twenty One Pilots, however, are not mediocre. I was really into these guys in 2016, as I was going through my "emo phase" where I obsessed over Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and them. Although a part of me cringes because of how annoying I was in this phase, I still admit that Twenty One Pilots have some great stuff. My personal favorite song of theirs is either "Holding on to You" or "Forest", and they have many other songs I love too. "Stressed Out" isn't one of my favorites, but I do have to give it credit for one thing: this is the most relatable song of all time. I'm quickly growing up, and I just want to go back to a time where I wasn't so stressed and didn't have much to worry about other than what Disney movie I wanted to watch. 9/10
4. "Work" by Rihanna ft. Drake
I feel like this is a song where you either love it or hate it, and if you hate it, I'm sure it's because you don't like how she says "work" a lot and hate how she slurs her words (that slurring is stylistic of the Jamaican patois dialect, so do your research before bitching about it!). I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. I really like the contrast between Rihanna's anguish on the verses and the monotone of the chorus. I also actually like Drake's contributions, especially when he and Rihanna harmonize on the line "But I know you need to get done, done, done, done if you come over." However, the chorus is kind of annoying and the beat is mediocre. There are a bunch of other songs from Anti that I prefer. "Kiss It Better" and its guitar sections are amazing, "Love on the Brain" gets me in my feelings, "Consideration" with SZA has such a fierce attitude, and I recently discovered "Desperado" but that song is incredible. Side note: I love how Rihanna started this decade as just another pop star and ended it as a literal mogul. She has her Fenty Beauty makeup line, her Fenty fashion house, is the founder of the Clara Lionel philanthropic organization, and is even a global ambassador for her home country of Barbados! What a queen, honestly. 7/10
3. "One Dance" by Drake ft. Wizkid & Kyla
When this song first came out, I thought it was the greatest song ever written...for about a week. There are parts of it I like, but as a whole, it just feels very dull, lazy, and unfinished. I want to like the dancehall vibe, but the production feels messy. The samples from Wizkid and Kyla also feel thrown together and disorganized. Drake also sounds really, really bored. I feel like there are probably some really good covers of this song out there, but the actual version we have is just mediocre. Also, this song topped the Billboard charts for the entire summer of 2016 and was named the Song of the Summer for that year. How? "Into You" by Ariana Grande was right there! There was a perfect summer pop song right in front of our faces, but we didn't let it get higher than #11 on the charts! Shame. 3/10
2. "Sorry" by Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber had the two biggest hits of 2016. Considering how hated he is, I'm sure somebody was pretty upset by this. Of the two songs, "Sorry" is definitely the better of the two for me. It's much more lively and has a great beat. The beat was actually produced by Skrillex, if you can believe that. When most people think of Skrillex, they think of the aggressive dubstep style of songs like "Bangarang" and "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites," but the beat on this song is very different, a lot more radio-friendly but more pleasant as well. The lyrics of this song actually paint Bieber as kind of a dick, but I don't really care about that because this is just a nice-sounding song. 8/10
1. "Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber
I feel like this song is really downbeat and doesn't really sound like what you'd expect to be the biggest hit of the year. It was written by Ed Sheeran and it's very obvious. Ed sings backup on this song and for quite a bit of it, his voice is more prominent than Bieber's. The production is also very sparse and more characteristic of Ed's style, being backed by only an electric guitar. The trumpet section in the bridge is nice, though, probably the best part of the song. The lyrics are also pretty interesting, with "My mama don't like you, and she likes everyone" being a pretty damning line. As interesting as parts of it may be, the overall sound of this song is quite bland and not something I want to listen to a lot of the time. 5/10

2017:
5. "Something Just Like This" by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay
Coldplay are one of my favorite bands, even if I don't know every single song from every one of their albums. Just something about the atmospheric production of their work speaks to me. When I saw they were collaborating with the Chainsmokers, I didn't know what to expect. At first, I thought it was just decent and sounded too much like the Chainsmokers' previous hit, "Roses," but it grew on me a ton and ended up being one of my favorite songs of 2017. The one problem I have is with the lyrics, which are silly and childish, but everything else is amazing. That part at the end when the guitar intertwines with the electronic drop is just perfect. It's another song my mom also likes, and I like it too. Obviously, it's not my favorite Coldplay song ("Fix You" will always have that special place in my heart), but I still love it a lot. 10/10
4. "HUMBLE." by Kendrick Lamar
Back in 2017 and 2018, it felt like I always had a Kendrick Lamar song that I was buzzing about and obsessed with. Honestly, due to a good chunk of his work dealing with racism and other topics that I, a middle-class, white teenage girl do not understand, I feel like he's sort of out of my depth and I'm not the best person to praise him. (Good thing there are plenty of far more educated people giving Kendrick the praise he deserves! The man was literally the first hip-hop artist to win a Pulitzer!) However, I'd be ignorant to deny that Kendrick is the single greatest rapper of this generation, having great production and flows and actually having something to say. "HUMBLE." is his biggest hit and an instant classic. He's basically just bragging in this song, but the specific lines are so quotable and Kendrick's energy and personality really make this song stand out. The production is also really good, being anchored by that iconic piano line. Although the DAMN. track "DNA." is my personal favorite song of his, "HUMBLE." is still great. 9.5/10
3. "That's What I Like" by Bruno Mars
I loved this song when it first came out, and while I still do like it, I don't like it as much as I used to. The bridge on this song is incredible and the production is also really good. Bruno also sounds amazing, like he really wants to share his wealth with this girl. However, it's definitely the worst of the singles from 24K Magic. The title track of the album is basically "Uptown Funk Part Two" and has a great energy, "Finesse" has an excellent 90s style and a Cardi B verse that actually made me like her, and "Versace on the Floor" is one of the best sexy slow jams I know. "That's What I Like" is not the worst because it's bad, but more because everything else is even better. I hope Bruno makes a comeback soon. We really need some more throwback R&B from him in these trying times. 8/10
2. "Despacito (Remix)" by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber
This is so sad Alexa play Despacito. I don't know what it is about that meme, but it's one of the funniest sentences ever written. It's just so dumb! I actually think "Despacito" deserved to be the #1 song of 2017, due to the then-record-tying 16 weeks it spent on top of the Hot 100 and the fact that its music video is the most viewed on the entirety of YouTube. It's also much better than the actual #1 song- we'll get to it. It took some mediocre contributions from Justin Bieber for the song to cross over, when the original version without him is much better. Bieber's contributions just feel tacked on and the vibes from the original song work so much better. The orignal song is just infectious with some great Latin flavors to make you want to dance. This song would also get played a lot in my Spanish class, and everyone in the class would get so excited whenever it came on. In the end, 10/10 for the Bieber-free version, 6/10 for the Bieber version.
1. "Shape of You" by Ed Sheeran
It really is a shame that Ed Sheeran released "Shape of You" and "Castle on the Hill" on the same day, and yet the general public decided it wanted to make "Shape of You" the juggernaut single. "Castle on the Hill" is a much more unique song with great storytelling lyrics and soaring vocals from Ed. "Shape of You" is mediocre in every sense of the word. The lyrics are shallow, just about Ed hooking up with a girl (also, "We push and pull like a magnet do." LIKE A MAGNET DO. The grammar policewoman in me is having a heart attack.) and the beat is basically the one from "Cheap Thrills" by Sia. I will always have a vendetta against this song for winning the Best Pop Solo Performance Grammy over "Praying" by Kesha. Ed is very talented, but he in no way deserved to win over that song. Let's ignore the fact that "Praying" is about Kesha overcoming sexual abuse and just focus on what the category is for: the best vocal performance, where it is not a contest. Ed doesn't do anything noteworthy in his performance of "Shape of You," not hitting any amazing notes and mostly sounding dull. Compare that to Kesha, who aches with emotion in every line she sings and even demonstrates the ability to do a whistle note, something nobody expected from her. The fact that "Praying" lost to one of the most mediocre songs ever written will anger me until my dying days. 3/10

2018:
5. "Rockstar" by Post Malone ft. 21 Savage
To quote myself, circa this post:
"It felt like in 2018, every time I would do one of these "current favorite songs" posts, I always had a new Post Malone song that I was obsessed with. Honestly, I think I've outgrown a lot of those songs, like "Rockstar", "Psycho", "Better Now", they're fine but not my favorites at this point."
I still like the guy, but I just can't say I have this song or any of those others on repeat any more. I do like when 21 Savage says "They like, 'Savage, why you got a 12-car garage when you only got 6 cars?'" I just think that's funny for some reason. This song is fine, but it's definitely not my favorite Posty song, or even my favorite Posty song from this era. I like "Candy Paint" a lot more, almost entirely because he says "Goddamn, I love paper like I'm Michael Scott." Somebody should make a rap song that's entirely made up of The Office references. 7/10
4. "Havana" by Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug
And now the best song by a bad artist. Actually, I don't know if Camila's songs are actually that bad or if I just hate her voice. I think a lot of her songs would actually be pretty okay if they were performed by a less nasal, annoying vocalist. But credit where credit's due: "Havana" is a good song. The production is absolutely incredible, with those smoky pianos and a flurry of trumpet being fantastic. The chorus of this song is instantly memorable and quite catchy. Similar to Camila, Young Thug can also have a really nasally and distinctive voice, but both performers tone it down for this song. They both do good work here. I do feel like this song is pretty overrated by some, but it's a good song. 8/10
3. "Meant to Be" by Bebe Rexha ft. Florida Georgia Line
This song topped the Billboard Country Songs Chart for 50 weeks. I don't like country music much, but...seriously, the genre doesn't have anything better than this? This song is just mediocre and bland. Both Bebe and the Florida Georgia Line guys are uninteresting here and the lyrics and production are boring. Other than the slight twang of Florida Georgia Line's voices, there really isn't much to distinguish this as a country song. It's just a basic pop song, and not a particularly interesting one at that. 2.5/10
2. "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran
Let's not beat around the bush, this is clearly just an attempt to recreate the magic of "Thinking Out Loud." Ed surely knew when writing it that people were going to compare it to "Thinking Out Loud." That's not a compliment or a dig, it's just stating the obvious. Honestly, in some aspects, I think I like this song better than "Thinking Out Loud." I like the strings, and the melody of the chorus is pretty beautiful. However, this song does have the issue of feeling like it goes on forever. It only goes for four-and-a-half minutes, but it feels like a lot longer to me. And a slow ballad like this is not a song I want to listen to for a long time, as it starts to bore me around the two-minute mark. One last note: when Ed says, "barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song," the song he is referring to is "March Madness" by Future. I can't help but find that amusing. Ed does not seem like the kind of guy who would be a big Future fan (and yes I know they were both on that one Taylor Swift song but let's ignore that). 6/10
1. "God's Plan" by Drake

Drake was absolutely huge in 2018, with his Scorpion album breaking records left and right. The album had three gargantuan hits that each topped the Billboard Hot 100 for ten weeks or more. Those three songs were "God's Plan," "Nice For What," and "In My Feelings." The second of those, "Nice For What," is without a doubt my favorite, yet it was the lowest on the year-end list ("God's Plan" was #1, "In My Feelings" was #9, and "Nice For What" was #11). As for "God's Plan," it has some really quotable lyrics and some pretty funny memes, but it's not something I want to listen to over and over again. But still, those memes are pretty great, acting like the most minor good deed should be treated as a saintly action.

7/10 for the song, 10/10 for these memes. They're so dumb but they make me laugh.

2019:
5. "Wow." by Post Malone
Is the eternal emo in me tempted to give this song a 10/10 solely because Post specifically mentions listening to Fall Out Boy in his car? Yes. Yes, I am. I'm not gonna do that, but the fact that one of the biggest hits of the year mentions the defining band of my emo phase by name is enough to get it in my good graces. Other than that, this song seems like a freestyle. It seems like he's kind of just coming up with the lyrics off the top of his head, yet it's still pretty catchy. Posty just has a way with hooks, man. Also, I don't really understand why we call Post Malone a rapper as this is literally the only song I've heard where he actually raps. In most of his other songs, he just sings. I don't get why we don't call him what he is, a singer. This song is fun, and the Fall Out Boy reference will always make me smile. 8/10
4. "bad guy" by Billie Eilish
Billie Eilish is without a doubt the biggest breakout star of the past year or so, and this is her biggest hit. Yet, it's easily my least favorite from her. This is less because I hate it and more because I really love everything else I've heard from her. "when the party's over," "all the good girls go to hell," "bury a friend," "lovely," "my strange addiction" (of course I like that one because it samples The Office), and especially "everything i wanted" are better songs for me. "bad guy" still is really weird but in a good way. Billie actually said she didn't expect this song to do well at all because it doesn't have a real hook, but it's still catchy. The outro is also terrifying but unique and interesting. One of these days I'm gonna have to listen to Billie's whole album, because despite being only a few months older than me, she's still a beyond-her-years talent who's doing a lot of interesting things. I can't wait to see what she does next. 9/10
3. "Without Me" by Halsey
I actually really like Halsey, but I've never been a fan of this song. She does have some songs I really like, like "You should be sad" and "3AM" from her newest album, but this song just doesn't do anything for me. Something about the way Halsey sings it is grating, and the production is very bland and downbeat. It's not really distinctive and blends in with all the other songs on the radio. I do think she deserves the success because she does seem like a pretty nice, relatable person and she does have some really great songs, but it annoys me that this is her biggest hit when she's done a lot better. 4/10
2. "Sunflower" by Post Malone ft. Swae Lee
I go back and forth on whether this or "Circles" is my favorite Post Malone song, but I really, really love this song! Both Post and Swae Lee stand out among the rap scene for me because they both seem to be really good at creating nice, catchy melodies and hooks. Put them both together and you get an upbeat yet dreamy pop song. This is just a nice song to listen to. You just put it on and you feel good. The contrast between Swae's youthful charm and Post's grittier delivery is delightful. Also, this song was on the soundtrack to Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. That is an amazing movie. Go watch it if you haven't. 10/10
1. "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus
Lil Nas X is a national treasure and I will support him until the day I die. I've said that "Old Town Road" is the defining pop culture event of my lifetime, and although the current pandemic and everything that's going on with it puts up some competition, I still think that's partially true. Lil Nas came out of nowhere with this song, where he raps about being a cowboy over a beat sampled from the band Nine Inch Nails. I don't think anyone could have expected what happened next, as the song got popular off of TikTok, then was the center of a debate over whether it actually counted as a country song. During this debate, Lil Nas got Miley Cyrus's dad on for the remix and proceeded to rule the goddamn world. He then came out as gay in the middle of all the buzz, making him the first and only artist to come out while simultaneously having the number one song in the country. He also released a series of remixes (my personal favorite is the one with Mason Ramsey, the Yodeling Walmart Kid) and ended up breaking the record set by "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men, becoming the longest-running number one in Billboard history, spending 20 weeks at the pinnacle. And despite all of this, Lil Nas is still funny and down-to-Earth as ever. One of these days I'm going to have to compile a list of his funniest tweets. It's common to joke about brands and celebrities trying too hard to be funny and relatable on social media, but Lil Nas never seems to be trying; he just is funny. I love "Old Town Road" and everything it represents. It will go down in history and Lil Nas will go down in history with it. 10/10

This was a long post that I somehow managed to throw together in three days. Even I'm impressed at that. I'm not sure what next week's post will be, but I'll see you next week for that.

Stellar

Kpop Crash Course: Part 2 of 4

Welcome back to Kpop Crash Course, a series where I look at 100 (+1, as you'll understand) iconic kpop songs according to this video. I already enjoy kpop songs from a few groups, but I would like to learn more about the genre as a whole. For a vast majority of my life, I have only listened to songs performed in English. Kpop Crash Course allows me to expand my horizons for music, as well as learn more about Korean culture.

How this works is that I made a list of all 100 (again, +1) songs in the video. I have split the songs into four groups and will discuss twenty-five songs in each installment of the series. I will listen to each song and give a quick review of it, then rate it out of ten. Keep in mind that these opinions are based on me listening to the song once, so they may change if I hear the songs again. I would also like you to read part one of the Kpop Crash Course series, because I do more of an intro there and also explain some of the things that make kpop what it is. With all that said, let's get started!

1. “So Cool” by Sistar (2011)

So last time we had "So Hot" by the Wonder Girls, now we have "So Cool". Make of that what you will. Honestly, this song is quite obnoxious and annoying to me. I don't really like the bleeping beat and the melody is irritating. The vocals are mostly subpar, but the belting high notes at the end were actually pretty good. I don't understand what's up with the interjections from the guys throughout the song. Are they Sistar's managers or producers or something? Sistar have a few other songs in this list, and I really hope those are better. 4.5/10
2. “Step” by KARA (2011)

KARA had another song in that previous post, and it was fine, but I couldn't remember for the life of me what it was called ("Mister", apparently!). That last song wasn't terribly memorable, but this one is doing it for me. If I were to describe this song in a word, I would go "technicolor". The production is quite busy and has a lot going on. However, the song is very bright and flashy, and they cram as many hooks in it as possible. There's also a key change. I mentioned this a few times in Part One, but when it comes to key changes in songs, I'm like a child distracted by shiny things. I just end up thinking, "OOH PRETTY KEY CHANGE" and I smile. This song is a lot to handle because it is very loud and bold, so I can't see myself wanting to listen to it all the time. But when I am in the mood for a lot, I might have to listen to this one. 8.5/10
3. “Trouble Maker” by Trouble Maker (2011)

I really can't think of any songs off the top of my head that have the same name as the band who made them. A quick Google search gives me some examples, but even in cases where I've heard of the band, I've never heard the song (for example, Green Day has a song called "Green Day", but I've never heard it). Long story short, the band and the song both being called "Trouble Maker" is a novelty for me. Another quick Google search tells me that the group Trouble Maker is a duo made up of Hyuna (of 4minute and solo fame) and Hyunseung (of Beast fame), so I guess it's like a supergroup but with only two people. I like the more R&B feel of this song, and although I can see why somebody would find the whistling annoying, I think it's cute and catchy. I would say I prefer Hyunseung's contributions to this song over Hyuna's. His vocals are so smooth. This song is pretty good, I like it. 9/10
4. “Alone” by Sistar (2012)

Another Sistar song, fingers crossed I like it more than the other one. And upon listening, I do! Yay! I really want to like these groups, because being negative isn't fun for anyone. This is an improvement over "So Cool" in every way, with stronger vocals and production. I really like the added elements of guitar and especially those piano chords. I like how this song goes for a more sultry feeling, giving Sistar some diversity to their sound. The girls also sound pretty strong, with this repeated high note sample coming into play throughout the song. While "So Cool" may be more immediately memorable, this track sticks with you in the long run. It's like "So Cool" is a Laffy Taffy, sugary sweet but without much substance, whereas "Alone" is a juicy steak: savory, more interesting, and leaves you satisfied for a long time. That metaphor is completely bizarre but it makes sense to my bizarre mind. 8.5/10
5. “Electric Shock” by f(x) (2012)

This song sort of reminds me of "Step", in the way that it's very loud and explosive. I think this one is better, but I like both. I like the contrast between the more melodic verses and the stuttered chorus. The production is very of-its-time and although I'm not huge on the early 2010s synth-party kind of style, it's not too bad here. It doesn't sound too rough or dated. I like this one. Although when reading the comments, I did learn that tragically, one of the members of f(x), Sulli, died from suicide last year. I talked about this in Part One, but because kpop is such a strict industry, many of its performers suffer from mental illnesses as a result of the stress from being in the public eye, and in worst case scenarios, they end it all. It breaks my heart, and I sincerely hope that these idols get the help they need before it's too late. Rest in peace to Sulli and everyone else in a situation like hers. I only know her from this song (it doesn't feel right to abruptly give a score after what I just said, but for continuity's sake, it's a 9/10), but she deserved better. Everyone who died young, whatever the cause, be it a suicide, overdose, murder, car crash, they all deserved better.
6. “Face” by Nu’Est (2012)
Not trying to be super ignorant, but is it just me or is this group's name really dumb? I can't help but think that this purposeful misspelling of "newest", especially with the apostrophe, is really dumb. Considering my gripes with the group's name, I'm surprised that I actually really like this. Honestly, it kind of sounds like a Korean High School Musical song, but like, one of the good ones, not one of Gabriella's countless weepy ballads. I think the one it reminds me of most is probably "Now or Never" from the third movie. I could have gone without the dubstep breakdown, but this was released in 2012, so of course dubstep was all the rage. I really like the powerful energy this song has. This surprised me. 9.5/10
7. “Fantastic Baby” by BIGBANG (2012)
This one I know from one of the countless "React to Kpop" videos from the Fine Brothers. I think it was one of the YouTubers React videos. This song also is "one of the biggest kpop hits ever" according to Billboard, it was #1 on WatchMojo's Top 10 Iconic K-Pop Songs video from 2015, and it even appeared in a trailer for Pitch Perfect 2. My favorite thing about this song is how in the prechorus, it's all building tension, one of the dudes does a pretty nice long note, then those three iconic words: "WOW, FANTASTIC BABY." I also think the guys did a good job with the rapping, with some nice flows. This is one of the most iconic songs of this entire genre for how well it blends hip hop with dubstep and for how many memorable hooks it has. Not exactly my favorite song ever, but I still commend it. 8/10
8. “Gangnam Style” by PSY (2012)
But as memorable as that last song was, it's no "Gangnam Style." Released on July 15, 2012, "Gangnam Style" is hands-down the most iconic kpop song ever created. And if you're going to argue "No, BTS is more iconic!" or something, trust me, I was there in 2012. This song was goddamn everywhere. It was the first video ever on YouTube to reach a billion views, and for nearly five years, it held on to its position as the most viewed video on the entire site. Everyone was doing the dance and making parodies, from CollegeHumor to Weird Al to to the X-Factor to NASA to Barack freaking Obama. This song is also pretty nostalgic for me because my brother was so obsessed with doing the dance when he was little, so I spent a lot of time on YouTube, devouring every "Gangnam Style"-related video I could find. I eventually discovered The Fine Brothers through this, which led to me being aware of so many viral Internet phenomena that I missed when I was younger, including Nyan Cat, "Friday" by Rebecca Black, "Chocolate Rain", and the perfection that is "Charlie the Unicorn." Because of how massive and famous this song is, it feels weird to even review it like I've been reviewing all these songs. As a song, I guess it's fine? But what really stands out is, of course, that video. Literally every frame of this damn video will be permanently embedded in my brain for the rest of eternity. If I was just reviewing this song as a song, entirely removed from the video and cultural context, it would probably be a 6/10. But due to what this song meant to the world and to my personal Internet upbringing, I'm gonna give it a 10/10. And when I started this project, I did not expect to be getting all profound about "Gangnam Style" of all things, but that's where we are.
9. “I Got A Boy” by Girls’ Generation (2012)
I talked about a few Girls' Generation songs in Part One, but even with that, I never expected them to make something this utterly bananas. Sarah Lundbäck Bell, one of the song's writers, said that the group's label, SM Entertainment, wanted it to sound like "a musical showtune song." It definitely doesn't sound like any Broadway song I've heard, but I get that. The song has so many tonal shifts that it puts you on the edge of your seat upon your first listen. There are so many different parts and styles, from hip hop to bubblegum to dubstep to even rock, that you don't know where it will go next. It's also extremely charming and catchy, with melodic hooks to spare. This song is bonkers in the best way. I'm only 34 songs into my Kpop Crash Course, but I will be seriously surprised if I find a more eclectic and exciting song than this. 10/10
10. “I Will Show You” by Ailee (2012)
It still surprises me how rare solo artists seem to be in kpop, as Ailee is only the second I have come across in these posts*. Also rare is that Ailee was actually born in Denver. Typically, foreign-born kpop idols are from neighboring countries, like China or Japan, but Ailee was raised in the US. The first thing I notice about this song is that Ailee is an absolute powerhouse of a vocalist. She nails every single note thrown her way, and she does it with a fierce attitute. Disappointingly, this is the only song of hers I'm going to be looking at in this series, but I think I might have to check into her work outside of this, or at least watch a few live performances. I love nothing more than powerhouse female vocalists.The song is great too. This is a diva song, but it doesn't have any obnoxious or haughty attitudes. I love how it switches from a somber piano ballad to a more uptempo, fierce song. I know I go on about key changes, but between these last two songs (and also my love of "Fix You" by Coldplay), I'm starting to think that I like tonal or tempo shifts even more. Also noted is that both the video I found these songs in and the official music video say the song is called "I Will Show You", but Ailee's Wikipedia entry says it's called "I'll Show You". Call it what you want, but I'm a fan either way. 9.5/10
*edit: my dumb ass somehow forgot "gangnam style" i'm not even sure how that happened
11. “Wow” by BTOB (2012)
A new group for this series! And unlike groups like Girls' Generation, Super Junior, and BIGBANG, I can't say I've heard of these guys before. So what do I think of it? First thought: oh my god, this sounds like the 90s. The percussion track sounds like that of "Finesse" by Bruno Mars, which was inspired by the new jack swing genre of the late 80s and early 90s. I also hear some Backstreet Boys elements in there, as well as some Latin-inspired guitars, which are reminiscent of the rise in Latin-inspired songs at the end of the 90s. I even think there are a few parts that sound like Mario games, like a Mario coin effect and some choral parts in the background that I swear I've heard during Mario Kart. I'm not too familiar with the music of the 90s, but I really like what I've heard, and as a result, I really like this song. I already really like it, but I feel like I'll grow to like it even more as I hear it more. 9.5/10
12. “Bar Bar Bar” by Crayon Pop (2013)
This sounds like what I expected kpop to be. It's very sugary and obnoxious and I can't say I'm a fan. It's certainly an earworm, but not in a good way. It's just annoying. I do like the added electric guitar in the production, which was nice. Other than that, I don't have much to say. I don't like it. 2/10
13. “Hush” by Miss A (2013)
I listened to a few Miss A songs in Part One. I liked both songs and even decided on a bias from the group (Jia, the group's rapper, because I liked her dyed hair). But as much as I liked the other two songs, this is even better. If I were to describe this song in one word, I would go "slinky." It definitely sees the group going in a more mature, sexy direction. The chorus of "kiss kiss kiss, baby, hush hush hush, baby" isn't an in-your-face earworm, but it's still pretty catchy. This song wasn't an aggressive banger like a lot of these songs have been, and it stands out for that. I've discussed in the past that I really love the kpop group Twice, and what do you know, they have done multiple covers of this song. If Twice's next single were to be in this vein, I'd be a very happy Once. 10/10
14. “No No No” by Apink (2013)
When I imagine a kpop girl group song, I swear this is like the exact thing I'd be thinking about. I've never even heard this song prior to this, but this is pretty much the ideal of what girl group kpop is. It's very sweet, features some sweet vocals, and is really catchy. However, I still really like it. I like the funky guitar in the production and how the song manages to be sweet, but not overly cloying, at least to me. I also really liked how towards the end, the chords start to shift and one of the girls belts a high note and you think it's gonna be a key change, but it doesn't. I feel like I should be disappointed that there wasn't a key change, but instead, I think the bait-and-switch was pulled off very effectively. Side note: I really like the group's outfits in the video! It takes me back to a simpler era, specifically, in 2013, when dressing like Ariana Grande in Victorious was cool. 8/10
15. “One Shot” by B.A.P. (2013)
So for most of these, I've been playing the music video in the background, occasionally flipping back to see what the video looks like (That's how we get observations like the one about the fashion in the Apink video or that Jia from Miss A's hair looks great.) I was gonna do that for this one, but the video is literally seven minutes long and the song is only four. I'm kind of regretting not watching the video, because this song is very cinematic and deserves an insane music video with a crazy plot and stunts. It has a string section, powerful guitars, sirens, the cocking of a gun, and even a choir in the outro that damn gave me chills when I heard it (and also reminds me of Super Smash Bros.). Plus, the song this most reminds me of is "Lose Yourself" by Eminem of all things, which did win an Oscar for being in 8 Mile. Yes, part of that is because "one shot" is said in the chorus of "Lose Yourself," but also because I think they go for similar vibes. This song is so large in scope and cinematic, and I genuinely loved it. Also, the group's name, B.A.P. is an acronym for "Best Absolute Perfect." At first, I thought, "oh, that's narcissistic," but to be fair, this is absolutely one of the best songs I've heard for this project. 10/10
16. “Ringa Linga” by Taeyang (2013)
Another song by a solo artist! However, I think Ailee's still the only truly solo artist we've covered, as Taeyang is a member of BIGBANG.* I can't think of what this song in particular reminds me of, but it definitely fits in with the aggressive trap-rap of its era. It's very hard-hitting with a thumping, catchy beat. Taeyang also shows a brash, confident personality. I don't know anything about him personally, but listening to this song, I get a vibe for who he is and what he wants to do as a solo artist. I just want to figure out what song in particular this song reminds me of. It's gonna bug me for a long time. 8/10
edit: once again, i somehow forgot that psy was a solo artist? i don't even know how i messed that up
17. “Rocking” by Teen Top (2013)
2013 kpop seems to sound a lot like Western music in 2013. There was a lot of this brash electronic style in 2013, with the "Harlem Shake" song and many of the songs from Kesha and Lady Gaga at this period ("Die Young" and "Applause") being good examples of it. This song is another example of this style, and there are parts of it I like, but as a whole, I'm not a fan. The verses are pretty good, but the chorus is irritating, with its high pitched synths and nasally vocals. This song was not my favorite, and I'd prefer to listen to most of the other songs here over this one. 4/10
18. "Growl" by EXO (2013)
You know how I kept going on about there being 100 songs in this selection, plus one? Yeah, this is the plus one. In the video where I chose these songs, it did originally have 100 songs, but the title did say "READ DESCRIPTION," and the description said that hele, the channel that made the video, forgot this song. Knowing that, I decided to put it in here anyway. EXO are one of the most popular kpop groups, even performing this very song at the 2018 Winter Olympics. This song is fine. I like the rhythmic feel of it and the more R&B flavor. The guys also do a nice job with the vocals. This song is fine, but I feel like EXO will have better songs in their discography. 7/10
19. “Catallena” by Orange Caramel (2014)
From looking at the title, I can't help but think: Hey, remember when I did the Stellar Adventures of Catalina in Neverland series on my blog? Don't read those, they're both really bad. Other than that, this group is a subgroup of After School, a group you'll remember if you read Part One. The video for this song is also really weird, featuring the girls as- I can't make this up- sushi. The song itself isn't bad. I really like the disco production, which reminds me of ABBA. The vocals are a mixed bag, with some of the higher belted notes being pretty good, but the high-pitched singing towards the beginning of the track is quite annoying. It feels like a lot of the songs I've been reviewing here have been really good, like 8's or higher, and the ones that I haven't liked as much have often been 5's or lower. It's nice to have something right in the middle. "Catallena" is a 6/10, a perfectly passable song.
20. “Come Back Home” by 2NE1 (2014)
This song is another one with different stylistic shifts. It's a mix between R&B, electropop, reggae, and trap, with some acoustic elements. I really like the reggae vibes in the verses, the acoustic parts, and the chorus. The chorus has a soaring, melancholic melody and I like the midtempo style of it. I also really love the drum fills that play throughout the song, most prominently in the chorus. I do not, however, like the beat drop and everything that happens after it. It's kind of annoying. The obvious song I'm gonna compare it to is "I Got A Boy" as they're both kpop girl group songs with different stylistic shifts. However, "I Got A Boy" is more optimistic and sweet while "Come Back Home" is very melancholy. I prefer "I Got A Boy" overall, but the gloom of "Come Back Home" still has its place. 7/10
21. “Good Boy” by GD x Taeyang (2014)
Both GD, or G-Dragon, and Taeyang are members of BIGBANG and they decided to make a hip-hop duo in 2014. And I'm sorry, but I just don't like this at all. The beat is annoying, and at one point, I swear they stole the beat from "Turn Down For What." Okay, they probably didn't steal it, but it sounds exactly the same. I also just think it's amusing how they keep calling themselves "good boys" as an attempt to sound all tough and macho, when the phrase "good boy" is mostly used to talk to dogs. Oh, who's a good boy? Do you want to play fetch? I do have to admit that the buildup to the drop is pretty nice, but the drop and everything that follows is not good. I'm starting to think that I prefer BIGBANG as a group, sorry to say. 3/10
22. “Like a Cat” by AOA (2014)
Did this song just seriously begin with air horns? The intro is annoying, with one of the girls talking in this very high-pitched, nasally voice. The rest of the song is okay, but the intro is still pretty unbearable. I like the hints of saxophone in the chorus and the more disco-style guitars. The bridge is also pretty nice. I don't like the repetition of "I'm good, I'm hot, I'm fresh, I'm fly" because the girl's voice is annoying. The song is fine, but there are better. 6.5/10
23. “Miniskirt” by AOA (2014)
Well, here's another AOA song. Let's hope this one is better. And listening to it...holy crap, I swear some of the melodies sound like "Breakthrough" by Twice! "Breakthrough" is my favorite Twice song, so I really think these melodic similarities are just coincidental. I don't think they'd intentionally steal a song. As for "Miniskirt," it's definitely better than the last one. It has a more sultry retro vibe, and I really like the airy, sensual high notes. I love my occasional sugary sweet pop song, but I'm finding that I prefer the more mature songs in kpop. It happened with Sistar and now it's happening again with AOA. 8/10
24. “Overdose” by EXO-K (2014)
I've touched on this before, but many kpop groups have sub-groups/sub-units, which are smaller groups within a group that release their own music outside of the main group. EXO has two sub-groups: EXO-K, the Korean members of the group, and EXO-M, the Chinese members. This song is by the former, and this is pretty awesome. I like the powerful pulse of this song and how dark but catchy it is. Just judging from the title, I'm pretty sure that this song's lyrics are like, "your love is like a drug, so addictive but so toxic," and reading a translated version of the lyrics: yup, that's pretty much exactly what it is. I've spoken about how I hate how overused the "love is a drug" metaphor is, but that doesn't mean a song that uses it is bad. The best moment of this song is the bridge, where they tone things down, then use a harmonized high note to effortlessly transition into the rap verse. That was great. 9/10
25. “Something” by Girl’s Day (2014)
This is another kpop group with a name that I can't help but make fun of. Seriously, "Girl's Day" sounds like a teen magazine from the 90s. Despite that, this song seems to be tailor-made to appeal to me. Like so many of my favorite songs, this is a sultry yet fun retro-inspired synthpop bop with great vocals. This could totally fit into my playlist with the likes of "Run Away With Me" by Carly Rae Jepsen, "Into You" by Ariana Grande, and "Breakthrough" and "Fancy" by Twice. Speaking of "Fancy", the aesthetic of the "Something" music video reminds me of the aesthetic for the "Fancy" video and I love it. Although reading the comments tells me this song is about cheating...yeah, I'm glad I don't understand the lyrics and can just enjoy this song for the pop perfection it is. 10/10
26. “Touch My Body” by Sistar (2014)
We started with Sistar and we're going to end with them. Funny thing is that Google says this is a cover of "Touch My Body" by Mariah Carey, and it absolutely is not. This song is up there with "California Gurls" by Katy Perry, "Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato, and literally everything Calvin Harris released in 2017 as a song that was just made for summer. I can't even describe it, it just sounds like a summer beach party. Let's hope people will actually be able to go to the beach (and listen to this song, if they so choose to) this summer and we won't be quarantined. Although a worldwide pandemic hasn't stopped some people from going to the beach...and promptly getting COVID-19 afterward. Whatever, this song is still fun. 9.5/10

Also...I just noticed this, but hele also uploaded 100 MORE LEGENDARY K-POP SONGS, a sequel to the video compilation we are analyzing in this series, a few weeks ago. I'll probably look at those songs at a later date. It has "Playing with Fire", which is 100% Blackpink's best song, as well as "Fancy", which is 100% Twice's best single (in Korean, at least), so I'm very inclined to look at the songs in that compilation. But for now, I'd just like to finish the first four parts of Kpop Crash Course. And we can't finish the second installment of this series without looking at the best and worst of the bunch!

I touched on this earlier, but it felt like I was really damn positive this time. In Part One, I didn't give a single 10/10. In Part Two, I gave four. Just for kicks, I added all of my scores from the past edition to find that in Part One, the songs got an average score of 6.9 (heh). In Part Two, the average was 7.6. This is a good bunch of songs, and if Parts Three and Four are going to have groups like Blackpink and Twice, who I already love, then the positivity will continue! Enough stalling, here is every song I gave a 9 or higher:
10/10:
-"I Got A Boy" by Girls' Generation
-"Hush" by Miss A
-"One Shot" by B.A.P.
-"Something" by Girl's Day
(I guess "Gangnam Style" was a 10/10, but that's more because of its cultural impact than because it was an actual 10/10 quality song.)
9.5/10:
-"Face" by Nu'Est
-"I Will Show You" by Ailee
-"Wow" by BTOB
-"Touch My Body" by Sistar
9/10:
-"Trouble Maker" by Trouble Maker
-"Electric Shock" by f(x)
-"Overdose" by EXO-K

That’s 11/26 songs that got a 9/10 or higher. That means 42% of these songs are top-tier for me. That’s insane! And as much as I don't want to bring down the mood, I guess these are my least favorites, every song that got a 5/10 or lower:
-"So Cool" by Sistar
-"Bar Bar Bar" by Crayon Pop
-"Rocking" by Teen Top
-"Good Boy" by GD x Taeyang

Only four songs lower than a 5/10? I'm really starting to love kpop! Honestly, this was really fun, and I might just do Kpop Crash Course Part Three. Part Three will feature more songs from acts like BIGBANG and EXO, my personal favorites Twice and Blackpink, and, of course, the global phenomenon that is BTS. I'm excited for it. If I don't have KPCC3 (because that's what we're calling it now) out next week, then I'll do another MOVIE TALK. See you next Saturday.

Stellar